Movie Fireproof

skylily

Hello. 

My daugther is thinking of having a marriage dedication ceremony exactly like the one at the end of Fireproof. She and my son in law were married at the courthouse.  It has been almost two years since they were legally married and now they are taking these marriage classes through their church. My daughter is completely excited about learning to be the wife God wants her to be, and she thinks it would be a great idea to have a "marriage dedication ceremony" as she likes to call it. I personally think its a great idea, but my husband thinks she's crazy. He says she's already married - they can just choose to live a gospel life not through a ceremony. After hearing what her dad said she is backing off and saying forget it. You can tell shes upset that people will think she's stupid, but I think its a great idea and she's showing the world her choice just like baptisms or professions of faith that our church holds. 

What do you all think? Is this stupid? 

Hilraythebride

I think it is great too, but she is already married. Is it possible they can renew their vows and have an event that doesn't try and make it seem like a wedding.  Meaning no cake cutting, bouquet toss and garter?

em01092

I agree that your daughter is already married, so she cannot have another wedding. She and her H can have a marriage blessing in the church or they can renew their vows. This would be lovely and just fine. 

I would encourage her to keep it small, and to not think too much as if she is planning a wedding. She can have people stand up beside her, as can her H, but I would suggest they dress nicely but not be in matchy matchy BM/GM attire. 

Those who attend should be hosted at some sort of thank you reception, but cake and punch would be just fine. If she wants a larger reception with dancing, a DJ, food, etc, that is just fine, but she and her H should skip the first dance and the tosses. Just have a party. 

skylily

Is it stupid to have a vow renewal two years into their marriage? Do most people wait 10 or 20 years for that?

She isn't looking for a "wedding" - no cake, no bouquet toss or garter but I would imagine she would have her own flowers for a keepsake of that day as she has other keepsakes from the day they were really married. She found something online called Gods Cord of Three Strands - it obviously has 3 cords and the couple braids it together symbolizing the unity of God to the bride and groom. 

I really want her to do this but she doesn't want to look stupid. I don't even know if her church does these things. I dont' know if she knows either. 

Has anyone out there done something like this?

em01092

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_movie-fireproof?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:0c3942f1-3e18-4e85-bf87-c98b821ab8cbPost:184730fd-9c8b-4ff8-b8a6-3ea9f9bf566d">Re: Movie Fireproof</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Is it stupid to have a vow renewal two years into their marriage? Do most people wait 10 or 20 years for that? </strong>She isn't looking for a "wedding" - no cake, no bouquet toss or garter but I would imagine she would have her own flowers for a keepsake of that day as she has other keepsakes from the day they were really married. She found something online called Gods Cord of Three Strands - it obviously has 3 cords and the couple braids it together symbolizing the unity of God to the bride and groom.  I really want her to do this but she doesn't want to look stupid. I don't even know if her church does these things. I dont' know if she knows either.  Has anyone out there done something like this?
Posted by skylily[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I personally think in this situation, they should call it a marriage blessing, since it's only 2 years into the marriage and their wedding happened at the courthouse rather than in the church. This would be totally appropriate. 

</div>

court476

My husband and I got married a year and a half ago and we are having another wedding. I don't care what other people say, we got married by the justice of the peace (kinda) and in our religion we are not married. So we are planning a wedding cake, lots of people, bridal party everything. I think that if it is for religious reasons then it is ok/acceptable to do.

skylily

How are your family and friends responding to that? 

court476

They love the idea because when we got married it was just my husband, me, his best friend, and one other person. We were not even in the same state (because he is military) .

Elizabeth80

I think your daughter is fine to have a wedding if she chooses. Especially if several loved one's missed out on witnessing this special union. There is etiquette and protocol that may say otherwise but if people think its odd they won't come and that's there business. The people that truly support them will show up.

I had two friends get married by a JOP and then have traditional ceremonies. I was proud to be a MOH for each of them.

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_movie-fireproof?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:0c3942f1-3e18-4e85-bf87-c98b821ab8cbPost:184730fd-9c8b-4ff8-b8a6-3ea9f9bf566d">Re: Movie Fireproof</a>:
[QUOTE]Is it stupid to have a vow renewal two years into their marriage? Do most people wait 10 or 20 years for that? She isn't looking for a "wedding" - no cake, no bouquet toss or garter but I would imagine she would have her own flowers for a keepsake of that day as she has other keepsakes from the day they were really married. She found something online called Gods Cord of Three Strands - it obviously has 3 cords and the couple braids it together symbolizing the unity of God to the bride and groom.  I really want her to do this but she doesn't want to look stupid. I don't even know if her church does these things. I dont' know if she knows either.  Has anyone out there done something like this?
Posted by skylily[/QUOTE]

jjolovich

I had to go back and re-read the OP and you didn't mention anything about your daughter having another wedding, she just wants to have a ceremony, like a vow renewal. So i dont know where y'all got that she wants to have another wedding. I think its a great idea i would do it if i were her.

Phantom&Tessa

I remember the movie Fireproof. A friend put it on and I quite enjoyed it :-)

My parents renewed their vows on their 50th anniversary. That was quite fun yet had its own formality.

Personally I'd go pale at the idea of spending all over again on a wedding :-p But if she chooses to go ahead with a marriage dedication ceremony then I hope it goes well :-)

JoshLovesJekka

I think that a Marriage Dedication and Vow Renewal can be done at any time during a marriage. In my opinion it shows a deep level of commitment not only to each other but to their faiths and beliefs.

jenisher78

We are renewing our vows the week before our 10 year anniversary.  I think it is a wonderful idea.  I am "breaking etiquette" on a few things but other things completely make sense.  We aren't doing this for a re-do and if no one shows up we are still doing it.  When we got married we planned it so quickly that most of our friends and family didnt get to attend.  We want them there this time.  We aren't doing it to get gifts we actually are going to discourage them on our invites! I am wearing a pretty dress, having attendants and a wedding cake!  The Fireproof Movie was a turning point in our marriage and I plan to incorporate a few things from the movie as well.  Good luck to your daughter and I say go for it!!!