P&E opinions-Effin long

mwhitson14

We're a little less than two months out from the wedding. If you read my recent post, FI has had to spend a chunk of money unexpectedly, and is looking at having to spend more to get a part on his truck fixed.With the money spent on that, it takes our savings down about $500-$600, which puts us at about 3K, maybe less. I can't work until mid-December, so money is going to be super tight, but with our savings I thought we would be ok.FI is flipping out about they money. He is terrified we won't have enough money to cover all the bills until I can start back to work. He's tried to find other jobs or a second job, but hasn't had any luck.With all this in mind, he wants to push the wedding back until we can get our savings back up and til I can get a more full time job, which will happen in December. The wedding would be March 20th. Is it totally nuts to try to do this? Invites have not been sent out. We won't lose any money. FWIW, I'm the one stomping my foot and crying because I'm so against it. :DPart 2: If you agree with this, make me a poem to put on a postcard to send to our guests, haha. STD's have been sent so I feel like we owe some sort of explanation.

Brie2010

I'd just do it in October.  Honestly, it's always going to be something--IMO, it's better to cut back on some stuff now and just get it over with than to drag it out even further.

mandysmear

How much money are you going to be short?

ktjanesmom

If the invites have not been sent out, why do you have the counter at the bottom?

anna.oskar

While your FI does make a good point, I'm sure you can pull it off this year.

aerinpegadrak

I'm with Brie.  Just get it done with.  You can cut corners on the wedding if things get really tight.

lyndausvi

I feel so bad you have had all this drama with your wedding.  Personally I would just JOP it and call it a day.

SwedishChick2011

I would just go ahead with the original date.  I would have thrown a FIT if my DH had tried to push the date back.  Like Brie said, there will always be something. 

kikibaby

You should probably wait- your actual expenses (house, utilities, etc) is more important than a wedding.  Since you won't lose any deposits, what would it hurt to wait until later next year?

mwhitson14

We're not short at all on paying for the wedding, my parents are picking up everything that's left to pay for at the wedding.The money that we are concerned about having would be the money to pay bills, groceries, etc from the wedding until December. Really January, since I wouldn't get a good check until Jan. 1st.

SwedishChick2011

Or do what Lynda said and JOP it.  Then you'll have extra money instead of being in the red!

mwhitson14

Because we have an RSVP thing on the website and guests have been making use of it.

SwedishChick2011

The money that we are concerned about having would be the money to pay bills, groceries, etc from the wedding until December. Really January, since I wouldn't get a good check until Jan. 1st.How would NOT getting married in October solve that problem?

aerinpegadrak

In that case, I'd sit down and take a long, hard look at your bills and see how much money you really need to live on.  It may not be as bad as you think, and you can always get creative with groceries and start clipping coupons like mad.

mwhitson14

So true lynda. If only the wedding would be where we're short, believe me we would. The wedding is pretty well paid for at this point. Our vendors are flexible with moving the date, not so much canceling entirely. Then we would lose the money we've paid.

becs11048

If your parents are picking it up then I don't see how pushing the wedding back will help things... maybe I am confused I would say to just cut back on what you can for your personal spending and if your FI is thinking to push things back to pay for parents gifts, HM, etc... just push those back and take the HM later

ac_in_dc

I would do it sooner rather than later, especially if you're not paying. Cut back on wedding-related expenses where you can. I found the wedding really distracted me from my job. It may be good to get it over with when you're not trying to impress a new employer.

AmoroAgain

Unless you just do a JOP, I'd go ahead and push it back too.  Being able to pay bills and eat is way more important than a wedding.

aMrsin09

Since the wedding will be covered and the bills he's freaking about will be there whether you get married or not, how will postponing it make him feel more at ease?

bbyckes

If the job in December is a guarantee I would just try to swing it.  Something always comes up.  You just tackle the issue and keep it moving.  Are there any OOT guests who would be affected by the change in dates?  That would be my concern if guests had purchased tickets or made accomodation arrangements.

ktjanesmom

Oh, and anyway, I think you should wait.   I understand you not wanting to, but in the end I think you would feel better about it.

mwhitson14

Sorry, I guess I didn't make myself clear. We're going to have to basically live on savings from Oct-Jan. FI is worried we won't have enough in savings to cover all the bills from Oct-Jan. Pushing the wedding back would mean me being able to work full time and actually contribute to helping out with the bills, not just draining savings to pay bills.Does that clear it up? I'm sorry, I'm not being real clear.

betrothed123

Will you realistically be able to cover the bills if you drop some of that money on the wedding?  I think I'd be in the same mindset as your FI.  What if somethign happens and you go longer without a job than you're planning, or he loses his job?  I'd rather know that I can cover my bills for a while than throw a party, so I'd porbably push it back.

lyndausvi

well if the wedding is pretty much paid for then getting married in Oct or March is not going change your living expenses.  They are what they are, married or not.

katiewhompus

I vote that you go ahead and get married. If all of your contributions to the wedding are done, you pushing it back a year won't save you any money. If anything it will cost you more money because who knows how much other little stuff you'll buy in between now and then that you really don't need :)Right now we're married and have about $4k in our savings, most of which was gift money from our wedding. If we planned to get married once we saved up a lot of money, well, I don't think we'd be planning it anytime soon. Is there any way you could cut down on your parent's expenses and take out a loan from the Bank of Dad? I know not everyone has that relationship but my BoD continues to help us out even after marriage.

NicoleSahara

I agree with the people who said I don't see how the wedding will affect your ability to pay the other bills, since it sounds like the wedding's already covered by your parents. Besides, you might get some money as a wedding gift that would help you until December.

katiewhompus

Wait, now I'm confused...why can't you work now but could if you weren't getting married?

gkb0910

If the wedding is paid for and the money is not coming from your savings, then I don't understand how waiting will help at all.  I'd go ahead with your plans as they are and just be frugal with the rest of your expenses.

ac_in_dc

Having the wedding interferes with your ability to work right now? That doesn't make sense... (sorry, I'm not trying to be snarky, just confused)

betrothed123

Ditto Katie's last post.  How does pushing back the date mean you can work, but keeping it as is mean you can't?

mwhitson14

No oot guests, except one cousin, that can't make it anyway. Basically I make enough right now to cover my bills, with almost none left over. Maybe a couple hundred dollars a month extra. FI is about the same with me, makes enough to cover his current bills and a few hundred left over.We both also live with our parents, so all of our expenses the first month (deposit, first months rent, turning on water, electricity, groceries, etc) will be pretty high. If we can wait til the job in December, together we will have enough left over to cover the expenses.