P&E opinions-Effin long

mwhitson14

agk, you're right exactly. We are just not where we expected to be, money-wise, at this point.I'm still pushing the living with his parents guys, let's hope I can convince him of that.Bubbalub, my parents would be able to help us, and might if necessary.

Calypso1977

Well personally think during the student teaching semester is a good time to get married since it's not a REAL job at that point. Once she's out of school there will be a lot more stress of finding and having a job, so why not just get the wedding out of the way before all that?I get the impression that they are both living at home as a means to save money until they can move in together as a married couple. I don't think they ever wanted to live together before marriage even if it was financially feasible (I could be wrong, but that's my impression). I think maybe they're just falling short of what they thought they could save and afford, which can happen to anyone.Many of us on here have very demanding jobs and were still able to plan weddings, so i dont really buy the arguement of getting married before you find a real job.  My point was that they shouldt have planned to get married until they had real jobs, although it sounds like she does have one lined up, but that may not have been a certainty at the time of their engagemetn.also, not living together before marriage doesnt mean you still have to live at home.  if they are at home to save money, that's great, but i still dont think ti made sense to rush into marriage before they had jobs and finances and a place to live set up.i honestly dont know much about Whit, but if what Eastunder said is true, then if they wait until next year, chances are there will be some other financial debacle that will cause them to want to postpone again.  Its paid for, the families are planning on it taking place then, folks might have booked travel, etc., just do it as planned.

agk0125

how do they know they're invited? Save The Dates.

bel138

If you have a wedding website and people are RSVPing already, I think anything short of completely canceling the wedding would be kinda rude.

mwhitson14

Because we sent STDs, they know they're invited.

mwhitson14

The job has been a sure thing for a few months now. No, it wasn't a sure thing at the time of our engagement. But at the time of our engagement, I was also supposed to graduate in December. Things just haven't worked out as we planned.

mwhitson14

And really by sure thing I mean as a last resort, I really am hoping to get hired on teaching.

Calypso1977

december of 2008?  how did you get a year behind?taht said, i would have looked at changing the date the moment you knew you'd be in school longer than planned.  but, coulda, shoulda, woulda.

agk0125

Many of us on here have very demanding jobs and were still able to plan weddingsOh, I know. I wasn't trying to make excuses, I was just saying I sort of understood their thinking. Why not take advantage of the student teaching semester? Especially since they're planning a small simple wedding.also, not living together before marriage doesnt mean you still have to live at home. if they are at home to save money, that's great, but i still dont think ti made sense to rush into marriage before they had jobs and finances and a place to live set up.I also agree, but I do know couples who have lived at home during the engagement while working and/or finishing going to school. If you have a good relationship with your parents and it works for you then I say go for it since it's potentially a huge money saver. It doesn't necessarily mean a person is lazy or irresponsible. They're just taking advantage of a good situation, IMO.I'm not trying to say you're wrong because I agree with you. I just think whit is smart enough to make the decisions that seemed right for them at the time and now it's showing that it's put them in a put of a pickle.

louisvillebride21

Ladies, life happens. They sat down and looked at things and thought they would be at a different point by now. Things have come up (sounds like several things) and they just aren't where they had planned to be. Just because they didn't each have their own apartment or 'big people jobs' at that point doesnt mean that they shouldn't get married. Isn't part of being married being a support system for each other? I can understand his worry, but agian, life happens. Its goign to keep happening. Whit has been killing herself working 3 jobs in order to save up as much as she could. They couldn't help that his car broke down or some of the other stuff that broke. Not sure what happened with the graduation, but agian, this stuff just happens. That stuff doesn't make either one of them irresponsible or bad planners.

amblizman

Fi and I were living together for his last semester in school- student teaching.  We were trying to find a place of our own, but that didn't pan out.  When his parents offered us their basement, I would have sooner cut off my left boob than move in with them.  But it has turned out really well so far.  His mom makes dinner every night and I don't have to drive to campus to do laundry anymore.FI can't seem to get a teaching job, so we might be with them a bit longer.  But the money we're saving by doing that is awesome.  My savings account hit 5 digits for the first time ever last week and I seriously did a happy dance.  So I vote for moving in with the 'rents for a while and keeping the wedding in October.  I could be biased though, because I'll be an October bride, too!

mwhitson14

Sorry Calypso, I meant May, I'm only a semester behind.

katiewhompus

Cars break, it sucks. Dh and I are looking for a house right now and his car just broke. Now the $1500 we were going to put towards closing costs are now going to the fact that he needs his car to move. That being said, we can't just stop buying a house because it's more expensive to rent than buy around here. You just have to dig a little deeper and figure out what daily living expenses to cut. Do you have an apt lined up already or is that up in the air? I just ask because here you have to have a move-in date like...3 months prior to actually moving in to know if you'll have a place!I still vote live with his parents. If it makes you feel any better, my bil has had to live with his mil for 8 years and will probably continue to live with her for at least another 30 (god forbid something happening to her).

scoetto

Look Neckie. If it dosen't work out in Oct, you still have a standing invite to come to the festivites in DC that day.