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Wedding Etiquette Forum

negotiation with vendors

Is it appropriate to negotiate prices with vendors, specifically the venue?  Is it like buying a car where you're kind of expected to haggle, or it is like at a store where the price is the price?  I don't want to offend anybody but I also don't want to pay more than I have to. TIA

Re: negotiation with vendors

  • It doesn't hurt to try, but I wouldn't push it. Our venue threw in a few extras at no cost (ceremony on site, dessert at the end of the reception), so I think that instead of lowering price per person, many venues may be throwing in incentives.
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  • This is absolutely fine. Just do your homework about what things go for in your area.
  • Meaghan - Didn't you post the other day about prospective clients trying to haggle with you to no end? That's got to be annoying!
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  • My view is that it can't hurt. I got 10% off my dress and shoes, changed around the set menu and got some taken off, got more out of our photographer than was listed in her package... Its worth a shot.
    "In the old days my ass would be in your back yard picking cotton, so excuse me if I don't put much stock in how f*cking awesome the old days were." -Nuggs
  • of course you can.  But you need to be reasonable and if you comparing other vendors make sure you are comparing apples with apples.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • ggmae, yes it is really hard, especially since I obviously just went through planning and wedding and feel their pain on the cost of things. However, when I tell you our menus can be negotiated it doesn't mean coming down in price by like 30 dollars a person.  You wouldn't believe how outrageous people can get with asking for things. No, our room rental fee can not just be waived. We can talk about Friday night prices as opposed to Saturday, but we can't just *poof* do away with it because you asked 30 times. And no, my boss is not going to say yes either.
  • my photographer wont negotiate shiatt with us :(FI got a deal after talking with the cake guy, thats about all the deals we have got.
  • Meaghan - Gosh that's got to be frustrating, but I know how you feel - I'd be able to relate to them and feel their pain, but there's only so much you can do to help. They should take what they can get, especially in the area you work. Nice, pricey area so it's great that you are willing to work on prices with them!
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  • Oh yeah, for the area I feel like we are already VERY fair. Then you get people on the other end of the spectrum with so much money that they don't know what to do with it. The basically get annoyed they can't bring in people to change our carpets for 'their' day or that we don't just keep a sushi chef in house at all times.
  • meghan - I feel  your pain.  We have the same issues where I work.  It's very rare for us to cut a deal on the boat.  The fact is if you do not book us we will just run an 'open' trip , which will make us the same or more money.  So there is on incentive for us to cut a deal.  But we will be asked over and over again.DH is asked all the time also.  They think his prices are too high.  DH will sometimes tell guests to go to the grocery store here and then come back and tell him he is too high.   They just do not get that our sister resorts in FL pay $6 lb for meat and we pay $14 for the exact same thing.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Someone has honestly wanted the carpets changed? Wow! That's a new one!
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  • They wanted the entryway carpets re-done in time for their day. They said they would pay for it. But ummm hello? This is a private club and you are just a guest here. I am guessing the members might want some say in club redecoration. Or maybe the board of directors? sheeshLynda - I can only imagine the perceptions on cost of living issues. Do you have any professional one liners for annoyed customers who spit out the, "well I can obviously do this/get this for cheaper elsewhere." I always just feel awkward and give them the basic, "well we really hope to work something out with you you will be happy with blahblahblah" when all I want to do some days is smile and say, "you can try!"
  • ggame - we get that all the time.  A few months ago we had a $1+ million wedding (when you add room rates).  One thing they did was 'rent' 160 charges for $16 a pop.  But actually what they did was pay for the chargers and just left them with us.They also 'rented' glasses and other plates, but actually they were only bought for this wedding.  But we get to now use them for future weddings.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Meaghan - I just took a peek at your married bio and WOW, do you look like your mom! If she is any indication of how you'll age, I'd say you are going to age beautifully! But back to the carpets, that ridic and I hope you laughed in their face (or at least inside.) Linda - Hey, at least it worked out for you in the end right? It's amazing how people can just throw money around like that though.
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  • sorry Meghan.  Luckily I do not have to deal with that part to often.  With DH being the executive chef I hear all the requests. Being on an island, we do not hear those lines very often, as one meal at one off property restaurant will prove DH's prices are inline.  (his are slightly higher in some cases, but we are a major luxury hotel chain, so that comes with a higher quality and expectations)






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • ggmae awww thank you! She will be just thrilled to hear that. She is a VERY self conscious woman and I think my wedding day was one of the first days I have ever known her to wear makeup in my lifetime. It is funny too because I think I look more like my dad but I would say more people agree with you for sure.
  • Well she is a beautiful woman, so you let her know that some stranger girl on the Knot said so. Haha. You look like both of them, but I definitely see it moreso with your mom. Be thankful you look like your parents - neither my brothers nor I look like either of our parents! My mom wore makeup on my wedding day too and that's the first time in 23 years that I've seen her with makeup on! She said she felt great that day, so in the end it was a good decision.
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