Wedding Etiquette Forum

vent: Conniving cousin

this is long.FI & I decided to only have children of immediate family at our wedding. We have lots of friends and extended family with kids and we just couldn't accommodate all of their children. All of our guests have been fine with our plans, save for an extended cousin R. After the invites were sent, R called me to ask if her 2 yr old daughter was invited to the wedding (even though the invitations were addressed to her & her husband.) I could tell on the phone she wasn't happy about her child not being invited, but she told me she & her husband planned on attending anyway. Today I get another phone call from R. She tells me that she simply is not comfortable with any of the people I had screened for childcare service because she has not met them. (I had provided recs for babysitters in our area). She goes on to tell me that she asked her MIL, one of our guests, and someone FI & I both adore, to take care of her daughter. So MIL - who had initially RSVP'ed yes to our wedding - will be missing our wedding because she will be babysitting R's daughter. R called me under the pretense of "I just wanted to let you know so that you won't be offended because my MIL won't be coming to your wedding. I know she had said yes, but blah blah blah excuses excuses." I was very diplomatic with her. I told her that as a mother, she has to do what makes her feel comfortable, but that I would miss her MIL attending our wedding. After I got off the phone with her, I emailed her the bio of one of the nannies I had recommended. I told R that since R would be in town for a week prior to the wedding, that perhaps she would consider arranging a meeting with the nanny I suggested so that she would feel more comfortable about the nanny.I'm still so peeved, though. She knows FI & I totally adore her MIL.

Re: vent: Conniving cousin

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    As frustrating as this is, this is exactly why we wouldn't have a no-kids reception out of town. Its too hard. People don't like to leave their children with strangers (you can't blame them) so it falls on a family member, and if the family members are invited...then what are they supposed to do?
    LilySlim Weight loss tickers
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    You handled that beautifully.  She was waiting for you to cave and you didn't.  kudos to you. I am all for no kid weddings if that is what you want.  If oot guests can attend, wonderful.  If they can't - hey, it's an invitation, not a summons!
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