My MIL is driving me crazy

chrystalschipper

Ok so here's my latest problem. My MIL decided that she didn't like our guest list so she photocopied her invitation and handed it out to extended family. We are on a tight budget because we are paying for the wedding ourselves and so we are inviting immediate family only. My MIL has handed these photocopies to all her aunts, uncles and cousins. I even asked her at the beginning of our planning if there was anyone she wanted invited and she was fine with immediate family only. Oh and there are only 31 days left until I get married. I know that I should be glad that all these people want to share in our wedding day but I can't afford all these extras. Plus that really throws off my seating plan when these "photocopies" didn't include RSVP's.

*BeachBride0410*

wow that was really wrong.....I know the damage has been done.  But can your FI talk to his mother at all?  Find out who she invited, and how many.

Stackeye210

I would be SO MAD.  And I'd tell her that every last person that attends that you didn't personally invite she is responsible for paying for.  Or just don't feed them and tell them MIL was supposed to bring their McDonalds for them.  That is just beyond ridiculous!  I'd have flipped a gasket. 

aimerzkd214

If you and Fi are paying and she is not contributing then tell her if she would like extra people then she needs to pay for them because you can't afford them . If she says shr won't pay then she needs to call all of those people and explain why they are not invited and that she messed up.

eastunder1

I refuse to believe that a grown woman would act like this.  I just refuse.  Anyone with half a brain would know that would never work, because of budgets and head counts and already planned amounts of food, drink and seats.   Sorry you're marrying into a family with a moron as the matriarch.  Have fun with that. 

wdc*bride

Tell your FMIL that she is responsible for either 1) determining how many of these people are coming and giving you the money to cover all the extra guests, including not only the meal cost, but also extra flowers, bartenders, etc.; or 2) calling all of these people and apologizing for mistakenly inviting them.  And tell her she has until tomorrow to decide and Saturday to make all the calls.

Brie2010

FI needs to have a Come To Jesus meeting with her, stat.

jajph1974

If she wants all of those people to come, she had better hand over some cash. That's just ridiculous.Where do people like that come from?

mandysmear

My husband would be on the phone with his mother so quick.  Then we'd make her call everyone and tell them that she invited beyond our guest list.That is bullshiit.

Asheia

Your MIL isn't the only problem. What kind of person accepts a photocopied invitation as a legit invitation?

mandybear7

Ditto the other pp. Good luck marrying into that family forever!

salt78

I think if anyone did this to me, my head might actually explode.

buttaflai

so she photocopied her invitation and handed it out to extended family.Holy crap. I thought when my MIL told us she was going to do that, that she was the craziest person I knew. LUCKILY, she asked me first and I said no.She didn't just go ahead and do it. That sucks! I would definitely involve your FI.

LesPaul

It's going to be interesting when all those second-hand invitees show up and don't have anywhere to sit, and don't get any food! 

anna.oskar

Could be worse. FMIL could have told guests that "She isn't really serious about that whole no kids thing. bring your kids."I found out about this at my shower on Sunday.  Invites haven't even gone out and how dare she think she can just add invites to 57 children.

bbyckes

That is seriously effed up.  Is she planning on paying for the extra peeps? 

chrystalschipper

Thanks for all the support ladies. I have talked with my FI and MIL and my MIL has decided that she will be opening up her wallet. As it turns out most of them can not make the wedding anyway (thank God). I also asked her for a list of who she invited so that I can send them an actual invitation. She is going to call everyone and appoligize for her "crazyness". She just thought "the more the merrier". I explained to her that would be fine if I was having a BBQ not a wedding.God help me as I marry into this crazy family. It is a good this my FI is so level-headed and calm.

gabi829

Wow.  Best of luck with maintaining your composure. Since these are your fi's relatives, I would put him in charge of spreading the word.  He could even say that you two can't adjust the numbers because the caterer already took your headcount.  If your FMIL is that batsh*t, she's not going to be reasonable enough to pay for those guests or rescind the fake invites. 

angiebear11

Don't include these people in the final head-count and when the show up with no where to seat and no food to eat direct them to your MIL.

gabi829

Make sure you have the cash in hand! 

cdeshane

FI needs to talk to her and let her know it was unacceptable, and she can either let all those people know that it was an error on her part or she can pay for meals.

cdeshane

Don't include these people in the final head-count and when the show up with no where to seat and no food to eat direct them to your MIL.This works too.

lpstl

Holy crap, you are being SO much more rational about this than I would have been.

ffmaid

Tell MIL that your venue will have a copy of teh guest list that you wrote and anyone who is not on the guest list you two wrote will be escorted away by the bouncers . that should have her redacting her false invites

duckie1905

MIL's sister did this with our wedding.  She invited all of the members of the biker gang she belongs to.  MIL just shrugged it off saying "that's sister."I had a panic attack and it was solved immediately.  If MIL doesn't want to fix it now she can either pay for everyone extra that shows up or explain to everyone on the wedding day why they can't join the party.