Attendants

shaema

When did you officially ask your family/friends to be your bridesmaids, ushers etc. and how did you do it?  Our wedding isn't until May 21, 2011 but I know everyone is curious who we will be asking.  Also, we'd like to do something special when we ask each person.

vallyhoo

I would not ask them until Dec 2010 in your case.I asked my attendants about 9 months out, and even that was very early.

ac_in_dc

I'd just let it be known that you'll be waiting about a year to figure out the details of your wedding party. Lots of folks come on here bummed out after asking folks too far in advance...a lot can change in 1.5 years, so don't rush it! 10 months out is pretty good.

cdeshane

I agree, I would wait to ask people, a lot can happen in that time. I regret asking so early because there is a girl in my wedding that I no longer wanted in and she no longer wanted to be in. I have heard the stories from mutual friends. I even asked her if she even wanted to be involved about 3 times because she became so hostile.

ac_in_dc

And I just called them on the phone & asked them, I didn't make too big a deal about it. I felt as though the gesture was more powerful without being sugarcoated by a silly game or note or something. But other folks may feel differently.

temerityjane

You just have to read a few posts that come up here often about how someone wants to fire a bridesmaid because they're not as good of friends anymore, or if you ask a couple to serve on each side and there's a messy break up, etc. So there's a lot to be said for waiting until way closer to the wedding.For me, it was pretty much understood from before I was even engaged who would be on my side, aside from 1 cousin, so I did ask pretty early (my wedding's still more than a year away), but it's one friend and the rest relatives, so it's not as though I'm going to become unrelated in that time.Most people will tell you to wait a long time, but I say it depends on who you're asking. I mean, my sister is my maid of honor. My mom won't let me un-sister her, so, you know, no worries. 2011 is way off, so I'd wait a bit but hey, you're excited. Do what you're gonna do, as long as you understand the risks.

danieliza1127

I asked my BMs about 11 months before the wedding, but I only had 3 and they were my obvious choices so it's not like I needed to wait.  My H didn't ask his GM or the Ushers until pretty farther on, I had to keep hounding him to do it. 

angiebear11

the rest relatives, so it's not as though I'm going to become unrelated in that timeNo, but I was planning on asking my brother to be my "Man of Honor" until he was suppose to host my engagement party (that my mother planned) at his house and then totally bailed on me a week before the party.I used to have the mentality of "they're family, so it's different... I can ask early".  Needless to say I'm glad I didn't. If I can't rely on him to host a party, how am I supposed to rely on him to be there for me on my wedding day?

ffmaid

Wait till august 2010. Until then. " We are just so happy to be engaged right now. We are holding off and will ask those we want in a year or so when plans are more settled. How is your yoga class, underwater basket weaving, kid, dog?

jlaroo33

http://www.reminder-center.com/shopping/cb.asp?cid=916&title=Wedding Attendants / Bridal Party I ordered Bridesmaid cards from the above website. You can customize the wording and they turned out really cute. Plus, they're inexpensive! I agree on the waiting part, too.

buttaflai

I asked over a year in advanced and wish I waited!

Calypso1977

dont ask for awhile.  i only had my sister, and it was pretty much assumed she'd be my MOH, so i'm not even sure i formally asked her, we just discussed what she'd wear.  you may end up wanting a much smaller WP once you see how much a WP can end up costing you in gifts, RD meals, reception meals, hair, nails, etc. also, dont send STDs this soon.  So much may change in the nearly 2 years you have to go.

linz_e_moore

My wedding is in December 2010.  I have already asked all 6 of my girls.  I know that nothing will change between us.  If it does, that's a risk I'm willing to take.FI has only asked his best man and 1 groomsman.  He is waiting a while.