Henna questions

aerinpegadrak

I've been totally obsessed with henna for a while now, and am starting to think of getting my hands hennaed for the wedding.  I know that this is traditional in a lot of cultures, BUT I'm not remotely associated with any of them.  My biggest question is, would it be, for lack of a better word, poser of me to do it anyway?  I feel kind of weird about it since I have more of an aesthetic reason for wanting to do it than a cultural one.If you think it's fine, what would you suggest doing to go with my dress (PIB)?  Total elaborate hand coverage, something simple but still covering the whole hand, or maybe just a cool bracelet?  Would it make the standard ring pictures look too busy if I did it on my left hand?Thanks!

colleenspencer

I think it's sort of disrespectful to the culture personally.

Night_Sprite

As a Swedish white girl, I think it could be interpreted as mocking/joking around with culture.  Your family won't get it.  I vote no.

punkyb2b

It would seem odd to me as a guest (and as a knot poster who knows a lot about cultures that use henna) to see you with full henna hands.  A bracelet is a better idea.  Why do you want it done for the wedding as opposed to a random other time?

LarissaAnn

Do it! My friends wanted to henna me for my wedding, since I'm in the biz, but I refrained, but I'm all for doing things just because you like to. I'd take close up pix of the lace on the dress and have it mimicked on your hands; I think it'd be terrific! And if you want a referral for a good henna artist in your area, I can hook you up. I've got nationwide (and somewhat worldwide) connections for this.

MissSarah786

I don't think of it as mocking the culture in any way, but I think it's kind of stupid to have something like that. It's like Tim and I smashing a glass under our feet for our wedding because we thought it'd be cool. Most guests would find it out of place.

Brie2010

Hopefully ring_pop will see this.  She just had a little bit of henna on one arm and it looked beautiful--maybe go with something like that if you do wind up doing it.  But personally...I wouldn't do it.  I went to a wedding where none of the participants were Native American in any way, but they did all these Native American ceremonies as a part of their wedding.  It seemed strange and out of place, and a little bit disrespectful.

LarissaAnn

See, I don't see an issue with enjoying parts of cultures, even when they're not your own. But I'm like that. In school, I was always dubbed "honorary Italian" or "honorary Irish" or the like.

aerinpegadrak

I do it at other random times (I used to work a job where it was prohibited as a visible tattoo, so I'd do it during the winter and wear gloves all day until it wore off), but I just love how it makes me feel beautiful and elegant, so I'd like that for my wedding day.I've got a while to decide, but I'm interested to hear more opinions.

punkyb2b

its not like it washes out after a day.  Are you going on a honeymoon?  what will you say when people ask you about it?  "oh I just like it and had it done for my wedding of all days and my hands of all places, even though it has no cultural significance to me."   Maybe rethink it a bit.

fangsiting

It's weird.  Don't do it. 

shellydiane820

I wouldn't do it just because it looks good.  Maybe research why its used in the culture, so you at least know the background and why its done.

jessiegirl_98

I married someone who is Hindu, so henna is a part of their weddings. I don't think that anyone would see it as disrespectful, but probably weird. If you really like it, maybe you could do something like this for the bachlorette party. You could also do it just on your feet, so it doesn't really show. That being said, I'm a white girl who wears Henna at every family/friend wedding of my DH's, as it is expected and they view it as disrespectful if I don't participate. It lasts several weeks and doesn't look great as it fades.

jessiegirl_98

Here is more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mehndi (sorry, can't make clicky)

colleenspencer

If you really want it done I like Punky's suggestion of a bracelet or soemthing.  I would think it very odd if you had a full mehndi.

tlv204

I guess I don't see it as disrespectful. If every time someone borrowed a piece of another culture was considered disrespectful, we would be even further behind as a country than we are already in terms of acceptance. However, I personally would do something small like a bracelet, I just think it would look nicer.

amandasw

I'm not sure disrespectful is the word, but like pp said, it would be odd and might not really make a whole lot of sense. what about doing henna on your feet?  I'm also very familiar with cultures that use it and it's very common to do on both the arms and feet/legs for weddings.  Not saying you need to hide it or anything, but it might be a 'compromise'.

mandysmear

I would not do it  unless you or your FI came from a background where it's customary.

LaFemme86

I am Indian, and it is part of our culture to do it. I didn't, much to my IL's dismay, but it's just not me. That being said, I don't think anyone would be offended whatsoever. Quite the opposite actually, I think people would feel proud that somethng from their culture is being adopted. That's my view on it anyways, and I know a lot of people who would feel the same way. A lot of people are scared to do something out of the norm, especially in regards to cultures/races in an effort to be painfully PC. I wore a white dress to my reception, whereas in Indian culture white is worn at funerals. I love the look of a white dress, so it's something I wanted to do. In the end, I received tons of compliments and noone even questioned the fact that I wore white.

aerinpegadrak

Thanks for the link!  There's a lot about the wedding that's weird, so I'm okay with that, it's the disrespect that I want to avoid.  I've never been asked about it before when I've had henna done (people have commented on it, but never asked me what it is or why I have it), so I don't think it would be an issue on my honeymoon.And to the OP (sorry, forgot which) who offered artist recommendations, I will TOTALLY take you up on that for the LA/Orange County area.  I had a classmate who used to do my henna, but she moved away when we graduated and I've been looking for someone new.

punkyb2b

I dont necessarily see it as disrespectful.  You arent making fun of the tradition. You are embracing it.  I would find it odd just because henna hands are a part of certain cultures but its not a part of YOUR culture.  If its part of who you are though, it would be less odd to see you sporting it on your wedding day.

mocha beans

I don't think it's disrespectful.  Part of being a multicultural community is adopting the customs of other cultures.  I don't think you necessarily have to be a subscriber to a whole culture to use elements of it, so long as it's not something obviously religious when you don't belong to that religion unless you plan on using the religious aspect as a form of inspiration, not using it verbatim.  I'm not pagan, but like the idea of doing a handfasting-inspired ceremony, nor am I Dutch but I want to do the Wine, Letter and Box ceremony.  I think the Asian custom where the groom has to earn his bride from the bridesmaids (can't remember what it's called exactly) is a fun idea, and I'm no where near asian.

colleenspencer

Well I don't know that disrespect is the word I was looking for.  It's just hard to explain.  This is something that is very important in Indian culture and to me it just seems really weird to want to do it because it's "neat". 

aerinpegadrak

Colleen, I totally understand what you're getting at.  That's why I'm on the fence about it.

LarissaAnn

Aerin, that was I who know people, and California is easy! LOL I do henna on myself (and others - I'm doing it at a birthday party this Sunday, in fact, and there's a little in my body art blog), and during the summer am almost always adorned with something. I love it, and I honestly think that with Renaissance Faires and shore communities, it's gotten so incredibly common that no one will question it. I also really appreciate the people who've posted from the Indian culture who think it'd be a compliment. I'm the same way about things. If someone who wasn't Jewish wanted to step on a glass or have the hora at their wedding, I'd think it was great.

Brie2010

I think I brought up something being disrepectful.  To clarify, the wedding I attended used ceremonies unique to a culture/religion they weren't a part of, just that they thought was kind of cool.  I thought that was disrespectful. I'm not sure what henna symbolizes, or if it is a religious practice, but if it's just a decoration/adornment I don't see it as disrespectful.  I'd think it's strange that someone not a part of that culture would use it, but not disrespectful.

MissIntentional

if you're comfortable enough to do it, do it. i think it looks beautiful. would you have the name hidden in there too?

jessiegirl_98

Maybe you should learn a bit more about the tradition of mehndi and then decide whether or not you want to adopt that tradition based on its meaning.

LaFemme86

Henna is not an aspect of the religion. It is more a superstitious type practice which carries many different meanings depending whe you are from. To ILs it meant something along the lines of how long it lasts shows how well your ILs will treat you (dumb IMO). To my family, it was more old school and a practice done to ward off evil eyes. To many, it's simply decoration. It would be different if, for example, you were taking one of the Hindu gods and using them centerpieces b/c it looked cool or something. I would get the schools of though claiming offensiveness there (don't know f I'd be offended, but these things don't bother me).

louisvillebride21

Aerin, I took a look at your bio. If you haven't found your earrings yet, check out my bio. I have some similar ones in there.

LarissaAnn

You know, just for kicks, I looked to see what was here: http://www.hennapage.com/henna/encyclopedia/bride/index.html I already knew henna wasn't just about Indian/Hindu tradition, and was Muslim as well. What I *didn't* realize (and I'm Jewish) is that the Jews also have a bridal henna tradition. It actually crosses several cultures, more than even I thought.