Long distance relationships

ExpatPumpkin

gg - I love that quote!

sarah0725

The quote that's sustaining me right now is the one in my siggy. Definitely pretty much sums up how I feel.There's also a reason that "Hey There Delilah" is our song.

veronabrit

ringpop- IMO 5 years is too long and I personally could not do it, but some people can.I can't comprehend people who are married and live apart and only see each other every few months...I couldn't do that either.  I think people who can do it are pretty strong.

sarah0725

I had a point in my relationship when I was looking ahead and realizing that the LDR might last five years, and it sure hurt. Now, though, I'm down to less than two (maybe even less than that), and I am so glad that I've stuck with it. It really depends on the relationship.

bobbileighb

Ggmae I LOVE that quote!!Ring pop I think it can work in some instances but we are on a wedding board so that may skew the number.  It is very frustrating at times and in my opinion if both parties are not committed and mature it becomes even harder.  I hope it works out for your friends because the stories of those that make it are always inspiring and make me not feel so weird for marrying someone I only met 4 times before we moved in together ha

ggmae

Verona - That's one reason DH and I didn't get married right before he deployed. I didn't want to spend the first year of marriage apart. A lot of girls I know who are married to soldiers have done it though, and it's not easy!

ring_pop

Agreed verona, 5 years is a very long time (though Expat seems to have done it!)I think that to me, one of the big things keeping me going in a LDR would be knowing that there was an end point, something to look forward to. The thing is, for them it's way too early in the relationship to start talking about making plans to be together. Obviously neither of them are going to start changing their career plans, yet. They've both had dreams of doing certain things and going certain places for a long time. So I guess that I'm worried that someone, at some point, is going to end up broken-hearted - either at having to give up on their dream, or give up on the person.I don't know why I'm worryng so much about them. I'm not butting in, of course. It's just giving me some food for thought.

~mRm~

DH and I live it since first meeting 4 years ago. Our careers keep us hours away from each other. Neither of us want to leave our respective companies/positions for varied reasons, mostly the economy of late. We make the most of it until we can have a better fix to the situation as a whole. We have date night every Tuesday, meeting as close to half way with each other as we can. We try and plan most weekends to be together, however DH works a lot of them and I have competitions with the horses from time to time.Approaching one year. Its not always been easy but well worth the effort.

BioGirl21

FI and I started dating in Jan. of 2006, during the middle of my freshman year of college. I was going to school 2.5 hours away from where he lived. We started dating 2 days before I had to go back for the Spring semester. Yes, we had summers together, but other than that, of the first 3 years of our relationship, we oretty much spent 20 months apart. I must say, I would never do it again. It was extremely difficult. And FI is one of those people who, if he doesn't have anything important to say, he won't even think about calling for days on end. But I think being apart made us both appreciate our relationship more.

veronabrit

people change a lot in 5 years...and I think it is easier to change together than it is to change apart...that's all.

[Deleted User]

we started off long distance. and here we are. ta-da! then again, we're especially awesome.

colleenspencer

Sorry Brit, I wasn't ignoring you, I just got distracted by laundry, lol.   DH can't come here because he's a bad bad man with a  criminal record, lol. He had a DUI 13 years ago and we're in the process of applying to the Canadian government to have him declared "rehabilitated".

mocha beans

Wow, seriously Colleen?  That sucks.  It's so long ago, you'd think they'd cut people a break if it was over a decade ago.

[Deleted User]

having now read the rest of the thread, i'd say ringpop's friends have nary a chance.

ring_pop

We shall see, daff. DH and I are both torn between wanting to feel optimistic, and feeling skeptical. I've got my shoulder ready for her.

3plus2=5

people change a lot in 5 years...and I think it is easier to change together than it is to change apart...that's all.I come from the failed end of the relationship.About 6 months after my first wedding, my ex-husband took a job driving truck long-haul.  He would be gone anywhere from 2-6 weeks at a time and when he was home it was only for a couple of days.  We did a lot of talking and our communication was strong.  However, in my daughter's (my second child) first year he was only home 11 days.  We managed to keep this up for over 9 years but in the end we realized that while we still cared for each other, instead of growing together we had grown separately.  We were no longer partners in every sense of the word.  I needed more than that in my life.