Wedding Etiquette Forum

The RSVPs are rolling in, and....

I'm really surprised by the people that are just adding guests! We invited all of our singles with guests, so that's not the problem. The problem is that family members are adding their children, or other unidentified guests. For example, we got one back that used the M____ line for their last name, which starts with M, and put that *6* will attend. But it just says Mc family, so we actually don't even know who it is (we were not smart enough to number the cards because FI didn't think anyone "would be that dumb"). This is FI's side of the family, so he called her and said, "Hey, we definitely didn't invite a family of 6, so can you help me figure out who this is so we can get in touch with them?" And she said, "Well, FI, you can't invite some people in the family and not others." Actually, we can. We chose not to invite people that we have never met or haven't seen since we were less than 15 years old. I guess I just thought that our family would be a little more understanding, especially since we are paying for this whole shindig ourselves. I'm all about calling people who over-RSVP and saying, "Sorry, but we can't have any additional guests." Am I wrong?

Re: The RSVPs are rolling in, and....

  • Nope, you're not wrong. The only time I would think this would get really awkward would be if you invited (from a family of 6) say 2 children but not the other two and they all lived at home. But you can certainly just invite the folks you're close to, and make sure you're on top of it quickly with your calls. FI should call his side, you should call yours.
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  • No, you are not wrong to call. Sometimes this is an honest misunderstanding. Other times people are just plain rude. Either way, you should nip it in the butt and do so evenly across the board. The last thing you want is for one family to hear another family was allowed to bring their ten year old twins of something.
  • You're not wrong. That sucks about not number the cards. Thank god we numbered them because I literally had a guest write across the whole card "Sorry, we will not attend"..... no name or anything.
  • Wow. I think you should call guests and say we can't have addiitonal guests. If they get snotty just say you are limited by the firecode to a certain number of people. If they don't get it, then explain they were invited with so and so, those 2 names will be on the guest list, anyone not listed will not be allowed in.
  • I agree, I think you should call to find out whats up and just invite the people you really want to be there. They should be understanding enough to realize how expensive weddings are and that the day is actually about YOU.
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