Wedding Etiquette Forum

Guests MUST be there on time. HELP!

Hello! We are getting married on a yacht and the yacht is leaving the dock at 6:00pm SHARP! If guests are not in a hotel lobby 10 minutes before departure, then they will not be allowed on the boat.. Could you give me any suggestions on how to let people know? Is the invitation not the place to say that? Word of mouth? Wedding website (but not everyone has internet). We are also restricted on the # of people (coast guard regulations), so the yacht company suggested saying along the lines of "Due to coast guard regulations the request of a number attending is greatly appreciated" on the response card or something like that, I don't have the paper in front of me... Is that rude? I'm stuck.. Thank you for any help! :)
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Re: Guests MUST be there on time. HELP!

  • I would probably say word of mouth. Also, I'm not sure because of the wording of your post, but are you trying to invite more than the yacht can allow?  If so, I don't recommend that.
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  • I think it's kind of common sense that if your wedding is on a boat out on the water, there is a cut off point when the boat will leave.  It's not like people will think it will come back to get them if they are late, and if they do they are idiots.  Word of mouth will be fine. If people can't get there on time, it's their loss and their problem.  As far of the numbers, just use rsvp cards that leave a space for the number attending or for the guests to write in specific names.  I don't see any need for you to make a big deal about the coast guard guidelines, because you would want to know how many people are coming regardless of if it was on a boat or not.  That's standard operating procedure for rvsps.  

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  • i would probably create a card to put with your invitations that explains that the cermeony will be taking place on a yacht and guests must be boarded by 6pm. You regret that the yacht cannot be held for any late arriving guests.
  • I would put the start time of the event on the invitation as 5:30pm, just to give some buffer time.  Then again, everyone in my family is always late, so I'm used to telling them everything starts a half-hour earlier than it actually does. ;)Not really sure what you're asking as far as the number attending question. 
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  • If I was a guest and saw the wedding was on a yacht, I would assume it would leave promptly at the stated time and be on time. I'd give them the benefit of the doubt that they'll make it. If they don't, oh well, they'll remember to be on time in the future. Put a line on the RSVP stating the number in the party that will be coming.
  • i agree w/ telling guests an earlier start time.
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  • I wouldn't do an earlier start time. I would do exactly what Shanwalk said - include an insert that explains that your ceremony takes place on a yacht that will be leaving promptly at six and guests must be boarded by then. As far as the number of guests, I would create an RSVP card that says something like "___ seats have been reserved in your honor" Or "___ of ___ will attend." You fill in the second blank before sending so they know that that's the number of people that are invited. In case neither of those option makes the writing on the wall clear for your guests, you also need to be sure to carefully list the names on your invitation so they know exactly who you are intending to invite.
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  • Don't post a false earlier start time.  That punishes the people that are actually responsible and know when to arrive for things.  They will start arriving at 5-ish for your "5:30" ceremony and then have to stand around for an hour waiting. That's not fair.   You don't put upon the responsible people in an attempt to coddle the irresponsible ones.   Adults shouldn't need coddling in the first place. 

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  • Give them a reason to get there a bit earlier. Have pre-ceremony cocktails or something to that effect from 5:00 - 5:45PM in the hotel. Where ever you're telling them the order of events, put "5PM - Cocktails in the lobby of X Hotel. Transportion to dock at 5:45PM. Yacht departs at 6PM." We had the same issue - ceremony in a church, not at the hotel of our DW. So we served hot chocolate in the lobby at 1:30PM... Our shuttles left at 1:45 and 2PM. Of course, I didn't have any of the hot chocolate but I'm told it was good. Oh, and even with all that we still had a pair of guests who took a taxi to the church because they got back late from skiing. So what can you do ;)
  • Yacht departs at 6pm on the dot. You're late, you're swimming!No? Perhaps something more formal?
  • Please do NOT tell people an earlier start time than what you are really doing.  Do not punish those who are punctual for those who are late. Expat has an excellent idea.  Provide a timeline card of departure from the hotel to the yacht, and the time the yacht will launch.  On that same card you can also put "Due to coast guard regulations the request of a number attending is greatly appreciated."Make sure you call each and every guest who does not RSVP (you will be stunned at how many people do not do this) and that you have an accurate count.Best of luck!
  • Include a card with the details - if people are late, they miss the boat.  Adults should be able to figure this out.  If they miss it, too bad.  They will feel like fools standing on the dock while you sail away.
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  • I agree with enclosing a note stating that the yacht leaves at 6pm and cannot be held for latecomers.  Unfortunately, there may be a guest or 2 who don't make it still, but that's on them.  I also like pp's suggestion to host a cocktail hour if you can to ensure people are there.
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