Should I invite my Father?

Tanababes

My dad and mom divorced when I was 7 yrs. old. They remarried when I was 12. He stayed 2 mths and 3 days and left again. He is now remarried and I see him maybe once a year. Before my mother passed away she is said to have forgiven him. I just don't believe this. I don't want him to give me away. But I would like him to at least be there?  What should I do? My youngest sister said she would give me away if needed. That she deserved it more than he did. I am really in a turmoil here. I am getting married on 13th of Feb. 2010

jessjo04

You have a lot of time to think about this. When I started planning my wedding, I didn't want my dad to walk me down the aisle, but since then we have become much closer. I'd suggest not making a decision until much closer to the wedding.

shellydiane820

I don't think there is anything wrong with having him there as a guest if you want him there.Your wedding consists of close friends and family, surely they know the general situation.

Brie2010

Nobody "needs" to give you away.  Your sister can do it, or you can walk down alone, or have a grandparent or a friend do it.I would extend the olive branch and invite your father.  You may regret it later.  Your mother's forgiveness doesn't really have anything to do with this--it's between you and your dad.  I doubt he will expect to have a significant role, and if he does, just tell him you're not comfortable with it.

MissIntentional

i would invite him. will you regret it if you don't?

shanwalk2

If it were me... I'd invite him, but walk down the aisle by myself. I would be concerned about regretting not inviting him at a later date.

sucrets4

Ditto shan.

vitamint

If you want him there, invite him. You can still have your sister, your friend, whoever give you away. It is your decision, not your sisters.

betrothed123

Just because you invite him doesn't mean you have to walk down the aisle with him.  I'd invite him for fear of regretting it if I didn't.

buttaflai

I invited my father even though I had not seen him in years. I knew that if I didn't, I'd regret it. He couldn't make it, but at least now I don't feel guilty about anything. Like the other said, he does not have to give you away. No one has to do that.

scoetto

Ditto PPs. Invite him. J had a similar situation where he didn't want any of his dad's family members invited. Then we had a death in the family and he was brought closer to them. We ended up inviting his dad as well as his dad's siblings a week before invites went out. He doesn't need to give you away, but he needs to know you would like to have him there. Maybe it will help bring you closer together.

ffmaid

If you want him there invite him inviting him does not mean he has to give you away you could walk alone  

Tanababes

Thank you ladies. I will go ahead and invite him. I doubt that he will want to come knowing I wont ask him to give him away, but it will be the thought that counts that I at least tried. Would you think there would anything wrong with the fact that I have my future FIL walk me down the isle? And when asked who gives this gal away... he says I don't want to give her away. I am bringing  her into our family?

betrothed123

I think that's a good choice.  It leaves the ball in his court as to whether or not he would like to attend.The FIL thing does seem a bit wierd to me.  Also, you can completely remove the whole "who gives this woman away" part.  It's not necessary.

jeannigirl

Ok know how you feel, my father really hasn't been much in my life since my mom and him divorced. It has been a weird uncomfortable relationship. I am not close to him at all, however I will send him an invite has he is my father. I will be walking the aisle by myself.Give yourself some time to really think about this before you make a final decision and do not be influenced by other family and friends opinions. You can Invite him has a guest and not have him walk with you. Let that be your decision not your sisters or his.