AW: attire etiquette

ahuette

So, our venue is pretty sophisticated & modern.  We really want our guests to dress to fit the resort, thus black tie or black tie optional is appropiate.I'm assuming it is horrible etiquette to include in the invite, but our website would be fair game.  Where on the website is a good place to put it? - events page? - create its own page - like suggestions or something?TIA for the help!!

ExpatPumpkin

The formality of your invites and the time of day of your ceremony and reception clue your guests as to the expected attire. There's really no polite way to tell people without being condescending. Pick very formal invites on heavy paper, perhaps with thermography, etc. Have your event in the evening as this is when black-tie is appropriate. If I received an expensive invitation to an 8PM reception at a nice resort, I'd know how to dress. If you're having a noon ceremony with a lunch reception to follow, however, it doesn't matter how nice the resort is, my husband will not wear a tux as that's not appropriate daywear. He'd wear a nice suit instead. Your only other choice is word of mouth if/when people ask... Good luck!

kmmssg

Agree with pp.  Are you having an evening wedding with all the rest of the arrangements that go with black tie/black tie optional?  Which way are you going?  Black tie or optional?  It's one or the other. Black tie means evening formal wedding, passed apps, plated dinner, etc.  Can you tell us more about your wedding?

mrstarawalsh

You could do it on your invites, I've seen alot of invites with a discreet footnote saying "black tie". But if you're not comfortable with that I'd do it on the events page.

Nebb

I dont understand exactly what youre AWing??

duckie1905

Why in hell is this an AW.It is rude to dictate your guests attire.  The formality of yoru invite as well as the time of day and location of your reception will clue them in on what to wear.You don't get to dress your guests.

carrieoz_76

We have a FAQ page on our website that we'll be putting this on. It literally is already a FAQ, so I think it's appropriate there.

ac_in_dc

Actually, it's completely appropriate to put "black tie" or "black tie optional" on an invitation.  See http://www.elumdesigns.com/letterpress/suite/letterpress-wedding-invitation/79/for an exampleI'd do some research to make sure that the formality of your entire event (not just the venue) justifies this distinction.

aerinpegadrak

I second the FAQ page.  We have a little blurb about attire on ours, indicating that the wedding is formal and all other events are casual.Be aware that dictating "black tie" comes with certain implications in regards to the event: live music, multi-course plated meal, full open bar, white glove service, and so on and so forth.  If you're not going the whole nine yards, indicating that the event is formal will suffice.  This is especially true if black tie events are not common in your circle, and would necessitate most of your guests having to go buy or rent tuxedos.Also, AW stands for "attention whore," which this post is not.

tenofcups4me

Decide which one you're doing and put it on the invitation in the bottom corner. It's not horrible etiquette to put it on the invitation -- check out Crane's if need back up on that. I wouldn't leave this to the web site because I would NOT count on most of your guests checking out your web site (I know I wouldn't).

eastunder1

Just having some modern decor does not make something a "black tie" worthy event.  Are you throwing a black tie party?  Are you having an open, top tier bar?  Live band music?  Decadent, fabulous food?  Plated meals?  I worry that it isn't so much the location/particulars/formality of the event calls for black tie so much as you just want to have a fancy party.  Those are two totally different things.   That being said, put it on the website under a FAQ or when you are describing the wedding.  But make sure it's actually appropriate first.

ahuette

Thanks for the suggestions everyone! I think I am going to note on the website in an FAQ section. Also, for more information on the event: - 5:30 ceremony - 7pm reception - live music - cocktail hour (in a different ballroom) with passed hors d'oeuvres - 4 course plated dinner (soup, salad, dinner & dessert + wedding cake) - open bar After talking to the FI I think were going to go with black tie optional!