Inviting the B List?

jennfredaz

We are a month away from the wedding and our head count is well under expectations.  I originally didn't invite any co-workers because I would have to invite the whole team, 12 total.  Now we have the space for 12 more but is it tacky for me to invite them now when it's only a month out?

jennfredaz

Thanks for all the feedback everyone.  I will certainly take it all into account.

sammyjo0320

If they are nice people they will understand family and close friends come first. My wedding is next month and my work friends all know that im going to invite them if i can. and they all understand. theres alot of us getting married around here, so everyone understands.

cashandrich

We had this same situation. We had wanted to invite more people, but we were unable to because of our small budget. When more people had to decline than expected, we called a few of the people we had wanted to invite in the first place and explained the situation. We stressed the fact that we did not want them to bring a gift. They were all just happy to be able to attend. Be honest. It worked for us. Good luck!

robinsanecki

I was actually thinking about the exact same issue. IF I end up doing last minute co-worker invites, I would invite everyone to come and have a nice time, but I'd specifically ask them NOT to bring a gift. I really don't need more gifts, and their presence (sorry for the pun) there is far more important.

foxforce5480

I would not be offended if I was a co-worker.  In my department of 25 people, there are 7 people getting married including myself.  No one is getting invited to anyone's wedding, and everyone is OK with it because there is an understanding.  Co-workers are a different animal.

duckie1905

IF I end up doing last minute co-worker invites, I would invite everyone to come and have a nice time, but I'd specifically ask them NOT to bring a gift.Please please please don't do this.  It is rude to tell people what to do in regards to purchasing/not a gift for you.  I know you think you are being nice, but that suggestion just isn't appropriate.

erind0213

We are going through this now. We are having a large wedding because we have big families. We made sure we invited all family first! 316 people we invited. As we got no's we began to invite co-workers and parent's friends.We havent gotten anybody who was offended. Most are excited to be extended the oppurtunity to attend. We made sure we sent out the main batch early. Our wedding is 10/10/09. Invites went out July 31, 2009 with an RSVP date of 9/10/09. Then we got a set of extra response cards with the date of 9/25/09. We sent these out as we got our regrets. This still allows us plenty of time to get the head count in. If its done tastefully it will be fine.

camero217

Jenn, We had the same thing happen. We had originally booked a room that only held 50, then of course the list grew a bit. We still tried to keep it around 60, but moved to a bigger room. Then when RSVP's came around we were more around 50. Since we had extra room at that point I decided to invite my colleges. They were 8 including SO's. I just explained to them that we ended up with more room than we thought we would have and we wanted to extend the invitation. Only 2 of the 8 are coming, but in the end I am glad I did. I see these people just about everyday, and since they have had to hear all about the wedding, I wanted them to be included. I don't think anyone was offened, but they probably would not tell me if they were. But I am still glad that I made the overture.

jillzlee

My co-workers really want to come to but I have no room at the venue. I told them I would love for them to come if we had enough space and they are all fine with it. Plus, I just started working there 3 months before the wedding date. (I have known them for years though, I grew up as a client at this salon I now work at.)All in all, I think its fine, co-workers are hardly at the top of anyones list.

rands09

Lots of good feedback, but I'll still add my two cents - I don't get the whole "offended at being b-listed" thing. I mean, think about it. Since when has it become a requirement that an invitation be "first or nothing"? I believe that folks who would be offended are really thinking of themselves, and not the bride and groom. Who doesn't know what the cost of putting on a weddign is these days? Especially in this economy?It is a basic truth that for every wedding, unless the Bride/Groom/Families come from very deep pockets, and can afford to invite everyone they want right off with no thought to budget (and let's face it, even in this economy, there are still those fortunate enough to be in that situation), most co-workers, friends and even some distant family members have to know that it's possible that they may not be invited.So when a couple finds themselves, unexpectedly able to invite them, it should be viewed as a privilege that they were thought of at all. Because it is a privilege, not a right, to be invited to share in a very sacred event. I say, invite your co-workers, and if anyone is unhappy about it, then the problem is theirs alone. Enjoy your day!!!  

Micky15

I don't have any advice, but as no's come in my fiance wanted to invite some of the guys he works with. I said I thought it was rude, he said he didn't think it would be. So thanks for posting this question, it really helped me out! Good luck!

moonlitmama

i don't think b-lists are bad. i was b-listed before, i know this because i didnt get a std (others did) and i got invited later than others i knew, i had NO problem with this. if someone is b-listed you - you probably are on the same page with them and also don't consider them your bff. the girl who invited was a co-worker who i really like and i was super excited to be invited to her wedding - even if it was clear i wasn't the top of the list.

jlmowris

It seems like most people on here say that if they could do their weddings over again they would've invited fewer people. If the people weren't important enough for you to invite them in the first place then you probably won't miss them if they don't come.

mizu22

No, I'd do it. You can make up excuses for the late invite...you put the invites in piles by table # and somehow misplaced their pile etc... It'll be ok.