Adoption

missy68

I am all for adoption.  My nephew is adopted, as (will be/is) my soon-to-arrive niece (domestic adoptions).  My second cousin adopted outside the country 20+ years ago. I have a friend who has done a foreign adoption as well.I personally would prefer a domestic adoption, but I can see going overseas. B and SIL have waited 2 years for this second child, and waited almost 2 for first one.I think it is both.  I think it is more "socially acceptable" because more people in the public eye are doing it, but I think its been done for a long time because of the need.I don't know.  I would like to think I could handle it, but I am not sure I could. I think my heart would be big enough, but I am not sure it would keep it from breaking.

gkb0910

Expat-those pictures are great.  Thanks for sharing.  I really liked the story about his daughter's trip to the dollar store.

shellydiane820

I like adoption. There are so many kids out there that need family.  Fi and I talk about one day adopting.I think either one is fine.  We have talked about domestic, because there are so many in the US that need homes too, and sometimes I feel like they are looked over because everyone goes overseas to adopt.I would consider it.  It depends on our financial capabilities.  My cousin adopted a special needs girl, and they had to pay a lot of money for surgeries.  I think what they did was wonderful, but expensive.  I would be more than happy to do that for someone if I could afford to.

katiewhompus

I think adoption is a wonderful thing. Dh and his sister were both adopted ( separate families from two different cities in Korea) when his parent's were living on a base in South Korea. His cousin is also adopted. We're one big happy family lol.I think I would rather do domestic. I feel like foreign countries get a lot of help when it comes to adoptions (though not nearly enough) while our own kids get pushed through foster home after foster home.I think its more fad than need for celebs, not sure about "regular" people.I honestly don't know if I could adopt a special needs child, just because I feel I would let down the kid. I don't know anything about caring for kids, much less a special needs one. I would learn of course, but I would always wonder if they could have had a better family.

mwhitson14

Quick question: Isn't the reaons a lot of people go overseas to adopt is because in the U.S., a parent can change their mind and try to get custody of the child again? That's not legal in other countries, but I'm pretty sure it's a possibility here. Not that I can ever see a judge granting custody to a parent who gave them up, but I can see it as a worry for parents who are adopting. How do you feel about adoption? [i] I think adoption is a great thing, I wish more people would do that instead of IVF and other fertilization methods [/i] Would you prefer domestic or foreign adoption and why? [i] I would go either way [/i] Do you think foreign adoption is more of a fad for a designer kind of child or is it popular because of the need? [i] Both [/i] Would you adopt a special needs child? [i] To be totally honest, I don't think I have the gift to raise a special needs child. If one was born to me, I would absolutely care for it 100%, but to specifically choose oen with special needs is not something I feel cut out to do. [/i]

Pirata13

mandapanda--I agree,people should have to pass tests to give birth. You know, I don't want a kid, I don't think I'd be a good mom. I enjoy my nieces & nephews, but I know parenthood is not for me. So I won't be having or adopting any. I wish more people didn't feel that they HAD to have a kid regardless of the means if they really don't want one. And people have definitely given the sideeye to me and other friends who have stated for years that we don't want kids. Like we're "unnatural". 

jasmineh7777

I think adoption is great. There are so many children that need homes. FI have talked about adopting eventually, and we will probably adopt from another country.I would hope no one would choose to adopt because it is trendy. I really can't fault a famous person who adopts from another country either. At least here, we have a foster care system for children waiting for parents. In a lot of other countries, it is literally a life or death situation.We would consider adopting a special needs child, but we would both need to be educated about the specifics of the child's needs and be able to financially handle all of the costs of hacing a special needs child. I think more people would be willing to do this if the costs of various therapies and medical bills weren't so outrageous.

Puppylove*85

How do you feel about adoption?  I support adoption when it is necessary.  However, the children that are most in need of adoption are usually not "in demand."  Most adoptive families want healthy, very young children (infants and toddlers).  But most children who need homes are older and/or suffer from major disabilities.  It is my understanding that the supply of healthy babies that are ethically available for adoption is much less than the supply.Adoption can be very difficult on adoptees.  Even when adoption is necessary, adoptees lose their biological family.  My sister was adopted and she has always felt her personality differences made her the "black sheep" of the family.  It is hard to grow up never meeting anyone who shares your genetics and not knowing your family medical history.Do you prefer foreign or domestic adoption?I prefer domestic foster care adoption.  Children in foster care are in need of homes.  Foster care adoption also doesn't have the inflated adoption costs that agencies charge.  When people are paying tens of thousands of dollars for an adoption, it begins to feel dangerously close to human trafficking.  This is especially true when dealing with economically depressed nations.  There is a lot of room for corruption and it can be extremely difficult to discover if a child was ethically surrendered.Is foreign adoption a fad?  I don't think it is a fad.  Perhaps this is the optimist in me but I would hope that no one would make such a huge decision on the type of whim that the term "fad" suggests.Would you adopt a special needs child?I don't plan on adopting.  I plan on having biological children.

ExpatPumpkin

gkb - Glad you liked the pics. I got teared up when I saw them because he's such a GOOD person. It didn't surprise me that that's how they chose to expand their family... I remember asking him why they'd taken that route, and he said, "We just have a lot of love to share." Beautiful family, and a lucky kid!

aimerzkd214

I think adoption is a great thing to do and if i can't have a child biologically I will definitely adopt, Fi  are considering adopting even if we can have a biological child.I feel that their are so many kids to be adopted here in the US that would be my first choice. But I would not mind adopting kids from another country since some of their countries struggle so much.Maybe a little bit of both before Angie nobody in Hollywood was getting kids from other countries but their is a need.This sounds horrible but it depends on the need.

andilion

I think it's great. It's something I want to seriously look into when my life is less hectic and my resources are more plentiful. I can't say for sure without knowing the issues in more detail. I will say that a priori, I do not have a preference one way or the other. Hard to say, I'm sure both trends play a role. I would consider it. My career is pretty busy and if I wasn't sure I could devote the time and resources such a child might need, then I guess I wouldn't. Also, you didn't ask this, but I am all for gay couples being able to adopt. I think the opposition to it is flat out ridiculous.

Mryan209

Mwhit- you are correct, a biological parent can reclaim a child in the US for a certain period of time, up to one year in some states (I believe).  That's a very, very big reason a lot of people adopt internationally.  Also, int'l adoption is a show of affluence.  Sad, but true.  It is often extremely expensive to adopt from Russia, China, etc.  Like, up to $40k expensive.  It also is not easier, at all.  In fact, to adopt from Russia, once you pass the agency and child home standards, you have to prove yourself to a Russian judge in person, who can deny you for absolutely no reason if they feel like it.  There is a very serious need though.  In Russia, there are no programs for orphans.  Of those that do not get adopted, most become homeless, many become prostitutes and about 10% kill themselves.  I worked for an int'l adoption agency that specialized in Russian adoptions, so I'm verrrry familiar with it.

wadingmoose

I think adoption is a fantastic choice.domestic.  I get that it's cool to do foreign adoptions, but what about the children in N. America?  It's a fad.  It's also easier to adopt children from foreign countries - likely due to the amount of children available in impoverished countries.  And we live in an instant gratification society so people would rather just do what's faster and easier.  Doesn't help that Hollywood is so involved.  People do what the stars do because that means they're just like the stars.  Right?  Right????  RIGHT????No.  But I wouldn't adopt any child.  I don't like children and have no intention of raising any.

Shleigh02

I Think adoption is wonderful. I would prefer domestic adoption because I think there are plenty of kids who need a family in the US. I don't know this for a fact, because I've never gone through the adoption process, but I've heard that finding and keeping a child in the US is harder than it is overseas. I always hear these horror stories of some crack mom who gives up her kid for adoption and then gets out of rehab a year later and wants it back and the adoptive parents have to give the kid back because the crack mom has some sort or parental right just because she was able to pop the kid out. And I've also heard of couples paying for an expectant mothers care, hospital bills, and even housing in agreeance that the baby will be theirs when it arrives, only to have the mother change her miind and keep the baby. I've also heard of adoptions taking years. So I may see how flying to cambodia or wherever plunking down a couple grand and leaving w/a kid is a whole lot easier, especially if you are a celebrity. Who knows what crazy people would do for a celebrity to take their baby. The reason I wold adopt, if I were ever to decide to want kids, is because alot of mental illness runs in my family, and those are the genes I am trying to avoid. So I probably would not adopt a special needs child, since I would be at high risk of having one of my own anyway.