invite to shower but not the ceremony

chrisdlovely

We are having a small itimate wedding. Iwould like to have a couples shower to announce and celebrate with those who were unable to come.Is this rude are inproper

jajph1974

Yes. It's rude. If they're not invited to the wedding they should not be invited to a shower.

[Deleted User]

Yes. It's rude for two reasons:1. you don't throw your own shower. 2. you don't invite people to wedding related parties that aren't invited to the wedding.

Mrs.B6302007

Ditto the rudeness for both reasons mentioned above.

zitiqueen

What you're proposing is nothing but a gift grab.Rude, tacky and improper.

SparrowSong

Having a "small intimate wedding" means you give up some things like engagement parties and showers. You don't get the perks of a big wedding without having a big wedding.And ditto the others, you don't host gift grabs for yourself. If you want to have a party, have a party, but there should be no indication that you want people who aren't even invited to the wedding to bring you presents.

banana468

Ditto PPs.  Showers are thrown for you and not by you and it would be very rude to invite people to that shower who you do not plan to invite to the ceremony and reception.Remember, the invitation needs to be for both.  If someone wants to throw you a shower, you do need to let the hostess know who is and isn't invited to the ceremony and reception.If you want to throw a party then throw one - but make sure it has nothing to do with you two getting married.

kmmssg

Ditto all the dittos

[Deleted User]

When you elect to have a small intimate wedding you forgo having a large shower, engagement party, b-party, or any other pre-wedding party.

tmm140

I'll just say rude.

tbridetobe

You shouldn't invite people to a pre-wedding party like a shower if you aren't going to invite them to the actual wedding. If I was invited to a shower, I'd just automatically assume I was invited to the wedding and I'm sure others would be the same way. You don't want an awkward situation later when people start asking you when the date is, where, etc. and you have to tell them, "Oh, actually, you can't come because I don't like you enough... but thanks for my shower gift!" So basically, you need to decide if it's important enough for you to celebrate with these people that you will invite them to the wedding, or if you'd rather keep your small wedding and thus only have those same people at your shower.