Do I invite grandpa? Please help

eucolano

My 97 grandpa does not approve of my future husband because he is not white, he is Korean. He ripped me a new one over the phone, refused to meet him, and has sent me letters. I have not spoken to him in a while. There is just no compromising with him. On top of it, he is not speaking to my mom. So do I invite him? He is after all my grandpa and I understand our differences, but I'm afraid that if he does come he will be nasty at the wedding and not welcoming to my future husband or his family. Any advice..would be welcomed..

venus554

You should ask your family. It might mean a lot to your parents for him to be there. On the other hand, if he is so opposed to the wedding, he may not even come if you do invite him. It can't hurt.

*BeachBride0410*

I think you should send him an invite.  Like you said, he is still your grandpa.  I think he would still be hurt if he didn't receive an invite.  He is 97, does he get around well?  Is there really any chance he could come to the wedding?

Brie2010

Invite him.If you don't, you're just giving him more ammunition to throw back in your face.If he causes trouble, have a family member tell him to shut it or leave.

aallenba

I personally would invited and also include a letter/note as how you'd like him to be there for your special day and how nationality shouldn't be an issue.

mocha beans

Invite him, be the bigger person. Honestly, when people that old say stupid racist shiit, it doesn't even really bother me.  At that age, nothing is going to change about their attitudes, and I feel no need to drive myself nuts trying to make them PC.  I just say okay and change the subject. Have a family member keep an eye on him and do some intervention to change the topic of conversation if he gets going.

megk8oz

Invite him. Be the bigger person, show that you truly do understand your differences and extend the olive branch. After he's invited, its on him as to whether he attends or not.

kmmssg

Ditto ECB. I have to say that if you were one of my 4 girls and my father (who WAS one of those old people who could pop racist things out of his mouth) ripped you a new one for not marrying a white boy, I would be recommending that g'pa NOT be invited and I would deal with the fall out. One of my DD's just broke off an engagement and it was a biracial relationship.  There is no way I would subject the FIL's to a possible racist rant on their son's wedding day.  I would not gamble their once in a lifetime experience on my father's old man remarks. Make no mistake - my father was a wonderful man.  He was raised by my racist g'pa and was born in the 20's.  A different era and a different way of acceptably raising your children with racist attitudes.  That being said, I still wouldn't gamble away the FIL's day at the wedding on a man who ripped my girls a new one for not marrying a white boy. Being the bigger person is fine - but the price to be paid by others is immense here and, to me, takes priority.