Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

No Reception?

So my fiance and myself are planning on getting married next May in Vegas at the MGM grand. We are saving money to pay for the ceremony and hotel and attire. We are afraid we just do not have the ability to afford a reception. We are paying for everything entirely on our own, no help from either of our families.  We have looked into the option of having a party within our suite, but MGM prohibits outside vendors, and we do not want to risk getting the fines. Is it too tacky to just go out to eat with our familes afterward and let everyone pay for themselveS? We both have been doing the complete planning all on our own....mostly me. His family lives about 1.5 hrs away. As for mine, I do not have much of a relationship with my mother or father. They are divorced. My dad is a drug addict and my mother is as well. My mother and father both have psychological issues, and refuse to seek help. They are both very sick vindictive people. That's a whole other story.... I have one younger sister, whom is a single mother of 2 kids-different fathers- and jobless with no vehicle. She is also not stable,and doesn't understand anything about wedding planning. I really can not get help from anyone because of their circumstances, and that is why I came here, for advice.I am also trying to get my fiance to help save money so we can go on a short honeymoon after to get away, just him and I. It is just so hard and difficult to this it all on our own....especially when friends get marries and have family and parents who help plan and pay for everything.
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: No Reception?

  • Options
    Sounds like you're in a tough situation with your family and financially. It's great that you and FI are paying for it on your own. A reception, however, is the bride and groom's thank you to their guests for traveling, getting dressed up, probably giving gifts, and sharing in their day. You can't really thank someone by expecting them to pay for their own dinner... I'd suggest you scale back your guest list - invite only immediate family or elope - and explore many options for dinner after the ceremony. There has to be restaurant that will put together a group menu for $30-40/person. That's only $600-800 if you have 20 guests.
  • Options
    I agree with expat. there are loads of restaurants in Las Vegas, I'm sure you can talk to one and arrange a limited menu for a smaller guest list. talk to the concierge at the MGM. I am sure that they have had more than one destination wedding there, and they may be able to point you in the right direction if you know your budget and have a number for your guest list.
  • Options
    It sounds like you've got a lot of family stuff going on and my heart goes out to you. To answer your question:Is it too tacky to just go out to eat with our familes afterward and let everyone pay for themselveS?Yes. The pps were right about the reception being a way to thank your guests for coming to your wedding. Especially, if you are having a DW and people are traveling from out of town to come to your wedding. If you can't afford a full reception in Vegas, then perhaps you should do something on a smaller scale at home like a ceremony and then a cake and punch reception. or Depending on how many guests you have coming, you may be able to pay for them all at a moderately priced restaraunt somewhere in Vegas that is not on the strip. I would imagine that those are much less expensive than those on the strip.
  • Options
    Listen. My FI and I are paying for everything ourselves also, it's not that uncommon at all.  While we are under a very strict budget also, we would never consider not having something for our guests, that is beyond rude.  I'm sorry you have a difficult family situation, but there are lot's of difficult situations that lot's of people are in- don't let it get you down!  You've obviously made different choices than the rest of your family, so keep pushing on doing the right thing, including offering dinner for your wedding guests. :)
  • Options
    How many people are you inviting?  I would scale back on the guest list and the ceremony, decor, and attire expenses so that you can at least pay for dinner afterward. 
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options
    Any chance you could get married in the late evening (9pmish?) and then take everyone out for dessert and coffee after? If its that late people will eat beforehand and just dessert and coffee will be much cheaper. Just idea.
  • Options
    Sorry about your family dynamics.  But unfortunately your other guests should not suffer because of it.Vegas is the home of $10 buffets, there has to be someplace you can afford to take your guests?






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Options
    I LOVE the idea of a dessert and coffee reception after a late evening wedding. It's so vegas. I'm really sorry about your family. I have a brother who most of my friends don't even know exists. He's useless. I really feel for his children. Good for you for growing up seemingly responsible and healthy. My nephews did not end up as well. Good luck, and plan the wedding you can afford. Trust me, that one day will not ruin your life if it's not the big splashy wedding your friends had. I'd much rather go to a late night wedding and dessert reception in Las Vegas anyway! ;)
  • Options
    I am also doing a Vegas wedding, and we are doing a cake and punch reception in my parents's suite. You cannot use outside vendors I BELIEVE in a rented room of the hotels' for several issues (money, liability, etc), but a private party in a private room is another story. We're also only hosting 20 guests (30-35 invites were sent out). The cake is through an outside vendor, and we are bringing it in. The vendor will deliver (to the lobby, not the room and she said the bellhops would help deliver it to the room if we asked), but we're saving on that cost by picking it up ourselves and buying some other small food items up at the grocery store.You may want to check with MGM about private parties in suites and their policy there. Check the Las Vegas board, as well. MGM and Luxor (where I'm getting married) are in the same hotel family, so it should be relatively similiar.
    image
    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
  • Options
    You have to host something (meaning you pay for it, not your guests) for those people who make the trip to see you get married.  It doesn't need to be anything big.  Dessert, cake and punch, etc would all work.  If you can't afford to offer anything, elope.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
    my read shelf:
    Betrothed 123's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • Options
    Just please don't take your guests to the Circus Circus buffet as your reception.  Seriously.  Noodle's cousin did this for her wedding, even thought here were only 10 people including her and her husband there.
    image

    If I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'd put shoes on the cat. image

  • Options
    I appreciate all the replies. I think maybe i really didn't understand the importance of reception, but I do agree if we have an out of town wedding we do neeed to find a way to thank our guests. The coffee late night idea won't work though, we have already booke for a  2:30 pm wedding. No circus circus-bad experiences there. I guess we will look into having a dinner or buffett restarant and oaying for the guests.... I know the mgm does do their own banquet room receptions, but Id bet their a lot of money....... 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options
    Mandalay Bay and Planet Hollywood have large party suites, and are friendly to outside caterers.  Our ceremony and reception are in the Vista suite at MB, and we're getting heavy apps, beer, and wine for $30/person from Masterpiece Cuisine.You may want to do the wedding in Vegas with just a few people that you're very close to, and have a casual reception back home.  We're planning a beach barbecue for our AHR, should come in at under $1000 for probably 200+ guests.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • Options
    Oh, it's a 2:30pm ceremony?  You're in cake and punch territory, then.  You can do 2-3 hours of desserts and mingling in the suite, then go to dinner afterwards.  A nice dessert spread through MGM with non-alcoholic beverages should cost significantly less than getting a meal through them.  I'm not sure what the etiquette on the post-reception dinner would be, but I think it would be much more acceptable in that situation for guests to pay their own way, or for you just to go with a handful of very close friends and family.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards