Wedding Etiquette Forum

Help settle the argument

We got a few quotes from florists which were reasonable, but out of our budget. We're only doing ceremony flowers, so I've been checking websites to DIY a few simple bouquets and bouts. I think I can handle this.Wrench in the plan: FI is set specifically on having a bright orange gerbera bout. No one else would have this color flower. None of the websites will guarantee a color, and even if they did, I would have to order 50 when I only need one.I said we should just call up the florist and order one bout, like you do from prom and such. That it's purely business. This is what we can afford while still getting what he wants. He thinks it's a totally diick move for some reason. He said it's like a slap in the face to the vendor. That she took time out of her day to meet with us and write up a proposal, so it would be rude to only order one of the things she proposed.We haven't had to decide between any other vendors. We knew who we wanted, so we booked them. No meetings and consultations and then telling one person you are going with another vendor. I told him this is how things work in the wedding world. So, is it a diick move?
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Re: Help settle the argument

  • Tell him that if he thinks it's a diick move, pick another damn flower for his bout.
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  • I think you meet with vendors to get quotes to see what you can afford to do. If that is all you can do, then some business is better than no business. I personally would not feel bad doing one bout since that is all you can do-vendors usually do not have a minimum when it comes to flowers. Now...if you want them to deliver the one bout that may not work :) haha, just kidding. Good luck.
  • They won't have to write up a proposal for a bout. It's a bout - just like for prom. All it would take is a 5 minute phone call. And it's probably best to have a professional bout done for the gerbera anyway. The stems are hollow, which means that the heads need to be wired, and they require a lot of water. DIY flower tips in wedding bio. Good luck!
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  • Yeah. I told him that flowers were important to him and not to me, so he could do them hisdamnself or sh1t the extra $350.
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  • Could you go to a totally different florist and order the one flower? I wouldn't be too worried about them messing it up...its one flower, not a lot of room to screw up. That way, you're not making that other vendor go through all that work for only one simple thing. Although, it is purely business. So out of the original argument, I say you win.
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  • If your going to DIY anyways, why not just buy him the type of flower he wants and make it. You can probably go to a florist depot of some kind, or just go buy stems of what you want at a regular florist. Combine these with the tricks that you were looking at on the website and voila, DIY flowers!
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  • Vendors are used to meeting with potential clients, making proposals, and not getting selected because another vendor was better. Tim and I met with 5 photographers, 3 florists (one of them twice before deciding she was a no), and two bakers. Tell him it's no big deal, it's part of the business.
  • He just told me he doesn't trust the other florists we met with. OH MY GOD. I'm going to punch him in the face.
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  • Doesn't trust them? Seriously. It's a bout - you're not asking them to landscape the Botanical Gardens. Do you have a florist shop anywhere nearby? I'm sure you can arrange to order one from them.
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  • Is it possible to scratch the two florists altogether and go with another for just the bout?  This will eliminate any perceived awkwardness and give FI want he wants.
  • I keep trying to picture FI looking me in the eye and going "Poli, I simply MUST have the orange gerbera bout, and I don't trust any other florists in town," and I keep laughing. And he's a landscape architect.
  • cacoffer - When I suggested that, that's when he said he didn't trust anyone else. Ridiculous.poli - I have a total Groomzilla. I don't know why I'm the one planning this thing when he's the one that cares about the details. He gets really obsessed with things in regular life too. Like all consuming. When he saw the picture of that flower in her catalog, he got totally obsessed with it.
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  • I have no good advice but I did have a good laugh. Why does he not trust the other florists? That is just bizarre.
  • I like the new siggy bajan!
  • He probably just thought that she was hot. And that's why he trusts her. Hot chicks never let you down.
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  • I don't know why I'm the one planning this thing when he's the one that cares about the details.Have you tried talking with him about this? I know that if it were me I'd get annoyed and probably snap at him.
  • Hahaha, just had to say that I love your FI! DH was the same way about his tie... We looked everywhere - it had to be Italian silk, of just the right thickness, and in a certain shade of blue. I ended up buying it for him at Neiman Marcus for over $200. But it's a really nice tie, and he looked great. Thank goodness I didn't give him flower choices ;)
  • LOL at the "hot girl" hypothesis bel!Thanks cacoffer! My Mum likes this one from the getting ready pix so I thought I'd use it in my siggy :)
  • Haha, guys are weird. If I were to tell FI about this, he would insist that he'd never get so worked up a flower, but I guarantee you that we're going to have some bizarre fight about some insane thing that he wants before all of this is over. He already wants to wear tails to a wedding in the middle of the day in August at the beach inside an elephant when he's marrying a girl who will be wearing a dress with no train. So, in other words, I feel your pain.
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  • Not diminish his need for flowers, but if you're going to DIY for the other flowers, think he would consider the option of a silk gerbera? Some of them are very realistic looking if purchased at a upscale place.
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  • What about an orange origami flower?
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  • How about getting a orange gerbera daisy plant a few weeks beforeyour wedding. Then the day of cut off the daisy and make the bout
  • he is overthinking this. It's a business, they are use to not booking every sales call the make.  Just order the flower from the florist. It will take 5 minutes. 






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Have you looked into grocery store florists?  That's what we used and they did a great job on our flowers for about half the price of regular florists.You could also just go out and buy an orange one from a flower shop or grocery store or nursery before the wedding and make his bout yourself.
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