guest list for intimate wedding

skits_1

Hello, we're planning an intimate wedding for 50 people - our venue is chosen and we love it, but unfortunately only accomodates 50 people. We drew up a guest list last night, and my FI and I decided not to invite any of the cousins  since this would add 30 people. I have 4 cousins I have not seen in about a decade so that makes sense, but my FI has one cousin in particular he is close with.Would it be tacky to invite that cousin that he is close with?If ityAlso since we're keeping the guest list small - there are maybe 1 or 2 aunts and uncles we dont see often, but Im thinking since were inviting some - to invite them all. It's only really 4 people...Anyone else find this hard with an intimate wedding? We have a lot of friends on the list and also equal amounts from my side and his side..TIA!

skits_1

aerinpegadrak - good point about the cousins understanding - they will! I forgot to mention that FI's cousins have had baptisms etc and we have not been invited and that's the way it goes in his family. No one has hurt feelings. My side is more traditional - it's all or nothing from my mom's perspective so this is a tough one.

aerinpegadrak

It also doesn't have to be equal for that tier of both sides, or even for that tier for both parents.  FI is inviting his mother's siblings, but not his dad's or step-mom's.  I'm not inviting any aunts and uncles.  We only really want to invite one of FI's uncles, but because we know it will start drama, we made room for the rest.

skits_1

aerinpegadrak - how are your familes with the tiers? I think mine would go nuts if they knew we were inviting only some aunts and uncles on his side...

ffmaid

I think you are goimng about it in a bad way. Figure out who you want to invite and then determine venue It is fine it it happens to be 48 or less but a real shame to pick a venue that only allows 48 guests when you really want say 53 people . Also baptisms are usually very small just parents and godparents and maybe grandparents to protect the health of the newborn. So not invited to baptism and not invited to wedding are different. That said invite who you want but consider all possible reprecussion. Ideally you and FI plan teh wedding for the outcomes you want

3plus2=5

I understand your position as we are trying to keep our guest list under 40.  We decided to invite the people we were closest to first among the family and friends.  We're not too bothered if someone we're not close to gets their nose out of joint because they're not invited.  Then again, this is my second wedding and we're a little bit on the older side so I don't know if that makes a difference.

ac_in_dc

I think it sounds like you're fine. Inviting just one cousin is fine if FI is really close to him (you get in trouble when you invite 4 but exclude 4 or something like that). In that vein, inviting all of the aunts and uncles sounds like the right thing to do.

aerinpegadrak

how are your familes with the tiers? I think mine would go nuts if they knew we were inviting only some aunts and uncles on his side...Need to know basis only.  It helps that I'm not close with my extended family whatsoever (I've met my mother's brothers once in my life, and I have no idea how many siblings my dad has), so I felt under no obligation to invite them.  Most of them probably don't know I'm even getting married, except for one cousin who found me on Facebook.Frankly, the particulars of the guest list are none of your family's business, especially with your family wanting to know who's invited in FI's family.  If they ask, be vague and change the subject.

skits_1

Thanks, that just pretty much made me sane to hear that. It's so true it's none of their business.Have a great wedding!