Rehearsal Dinner

MLC613

I am just wondering if you're supposed to invite your out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner? They're not in the wedding but I thought I read some where your supposed to invite them!

Golfer'sLady

It is certainly a nice gesture to include them, we did, but it is not mandatory.

AlexiaANDRobert

It is not mandatory, but yes, a nice gesture. I don't see the point.  It kinda becomes a reception with all the guests invited... I'm NOT doing this for ours.

jfgrad06

It's a nice gesture to invite them, but you don't HAVE to.

lyndausvi

You do not have too.  But we did.  We just had a huge open house since all of our guests were OOT.   

lily5727

I think its a nice gesture and would depend on how far from out of town they came from and how close you are to them. I always figured rehearsal dinner was just a nice dinner for after the wedding rehearsal. Kinda a thank you and I appreciate all you've done for the people in the wedding or doing things for the wedding.Personally I wouldn't because then I would have to deal with the drama of why did this person get invited and I didn't. You also might want to check with the person paying for it, if you aren't to make sure they are okay with more people. But the decision is up to you and your FI so if you want them there go for it.How's that for a backwards answer.

MsGamblingGirl

It's a very case by case basis. My wedding is a DW (for everyone but us), so we are inviting everyone to a mini welcome party the night before the wedding. If it's a standard wedding with only a few people from OOT, I'd invite them. If half your wedding is from OOT it seems unnecessary to have a huge party the night before the wedding.

Travis&Cari

You don't have to, if you can afford it and want to it's nice.  We are but only because FMIL is paying and decided she wanted every out of towner there. 

jefisher05

We are not inviting OOT guests who are not in the wedding to the RD but we are hanging out at the place afterwards and are inviting OOT guests to join us at that time if they feel like having a few drinks or whatever.

temerityjane

We're thinking of putting a little card in the out of town bags indicating when the rehearsal dinner is, along with when we're having brunch the next day. Any guests in town early or leaving late will be welcome to join us.

ExpatPumpkin

We had a DW, so we invited everyone... Only the ceremony participants attended the actual rehearsal, but we hosted a dinner for all 60 guests on Friday night. The dinner was definitely an added expense and we transported them to/from the hotel/restaurant as well, but we're really glad we did it. So yes, I think it's nice to invite all OOT guests to the rehearsal dinner, and you should try to make room in your budget for it. If you can't afford a restaurant, pizza at home is appreciated. I think the point is to just not leave them on their own since they took the time to travel for your wedding.

cynasmin

we aren't including oot in rehersal dinner. but we are having an dinner & game night the next night for everyone. and all the oot girls (far less #s then the guys) are going for mani/pedi's which my mom volunteered to treat for! totally awesome. i hope they will enjoy it, a little bit different of a treat

k3montel

My FI's family is entirely from OOT, so we are not having them at the RD.  However, our RD is on a Thursday b/c I'm Catholic and we're getting married during Lent.  So, my FMIL is taking us and her OOT family out to dinner on Friday before the wedding (Saturday).We just think it would be like another reception if we invited all of the OOT guests.  His grandparents will be invited, but that's it.

mizu22

You can, it is a nice touch. However, if your budget doesn't allow it you DO NOT have to do it. I had this same issue but I only had the bridal party there, along with their significant others. The guest should understand that you can't afford to have them there and be ok with it.

ctdolphin

We aren't inviting OOT unless they're in the wedding or immediate family (brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents). About 90% of our guests are from out of town, so it would essentially be an entire wedding reception and we don't see the point of doing that (or want to afford it).

MartiG

I don't think it's required but a nice touch. I'm having a small beach wedding in less than a month. Out of 45 attendees, only 2 live in that area. Some of my friends are staying in the large beach house I rented for the wedding so would feel awkward not inviting them to the RD. I think everyone coming to the wedding will now be at the RD but we're keeping it casual with bbq catering. And I figure this will be a great way for people to meet each other before the wedding the following day.

dieselsmomma

We didn't. We stuck with parents, the wedding party, and the wedding parties partners because we wanted to have a more intimate party. 

petdoc2010

It does say somewhere in the etiquette section of this website that you are supposed to invite all OOT'ers.  I understand this, wish I could, but we just can't afford it.  Literally, EVERYONE that is coming to the wedding is OOT except for his parents (which would come to the rehearsal dinner anyways) and two of our wedding party (which would also come to the rehearsal dinner anyways).  We decided to limit the rehearsal dinner to the wedding party, parents, and close family (grandparents and my great aunt).  It's the best we can do and I don't think any of our other guests will really mind.