Do I change the date?

christyd74

I announced my plans to get married to close family and friends in June. We had picked the date of 10-10-10. This is a third marriage for both. We had planned a destination wedding just not sure where yet. Being that i am not close to my sister- in-law or my brother, I had not spoke with them to tell of my plans. I figured they would know when I sent an invite.  I get a phone call tonight from my sister-in-law's daughter to tell me she has picked the same date! She set it a couple weeks ago.  I am not close to her either but dont want to hurt her feelings or put a strain in family relations. I do understand that this is her first and hopefully her last and she is very excited about it. I dont think that should mean that mine is not as important because it is my third.  Any advise?

zitiqueen

When you say a destination wedding do you mean just the two of you flying off to get married in a low-key ceremony, or are you planning to have a full-blown pretty princess day in this destination and you're inviting all of your friends and family?

kmmssg

I'm going to ditto expat. I have been married twice so I don't think your wedding is any less important than your nieces, but I'm going to pose a thought or two here:You both want to get married on the same day.           This is your 3rd, her first.                                           I'm guessing many of the family members who were invited to your first 2 weddings will be invited to your wedding next year as well as to your niece's.Your's is a destination wedding meaning everyone will have to spend money to travel.I would honestly have to say that if my niece/cousin/family member was getting married for the first time and I would have to choose between her wedding and a family member's (destination wedding) who had been married twice before  I would go to your niece's wedding.  Chances are I attended one of your earlier weddings and I wouldn't have to spend the money to attend a DW.Please don't take that wrong.  I honestly think if you have a DW on the same day or within a few weeks of  your niece you are going to be disappointed.  Someone needs to change a date here, and in all honesty I think it should be you.

scoetto

Since you don't have any solid plans, and it sounds like she does, I would change your date. If you're going to have a DW anyway, why not do 08.09.10? It's a Monday so you might get some discounts for your wedding!Not discounting that it is your third wedding, but this is her first (and hopefully only). Since you both (you & FI) have been married before, it would be nice to move your date to a time when she and her FI or new husband can attend. Also, you might want to look into booking a cruise around the holidays. Get the family together for a vacation and get married on the boat or at one of the stops. Good luck!

kebmtm071605

Ditto kmmssg 100%

danieliza1127

Ditto kmmssg 100%Me too.  I think you should change your date.  It'll be less of a big deal for you than for her more than likely, just due to your ages and maturity and the fact that you've done it before and she never has.

banana468

Ditto kmmssg.  She hit on a ton of great points.

Catwoman708

Yes, I would change the date. Because if you don't, it will put the rest of your family in the position of having to choose which wedding to attend. And if they are having a local wedding, most guests will choose the local one over a DW.

Moneypenny424

Yep, kmmssg hit the nail (all the nails actually) on the head.  Unless you had a very specific reason for choosing that date (ie FI will be on leave from the military at that time), I'd change it.

lyndausvi

ditto kmmssg. Your wedding is as important, so do not think that way.   Given a choice I would pick a niece's first time local wedding than my sister's DW 3rd wedding if they are on the same day.

veronabrit

it depends- do you want to risk upsetting family and making them choose a wedding to go to? I think if it was my 3rd wedding and someone else in the family picked the date before I did...I would change it, more than likely.