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Poele: Wedding vows

1.  Did you write your own vows?2.  If a couple writes their own vows, do you judge what they say and promise to each other?  For example:  if one is marrying for the second time and promises "forever" or "One and only love" do you giggle to yourself and say "This time?"3.  Do you prefer serious or lighthearted vows?

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Re: Poele: Wedding vows

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    1. yes.2. nope.  if someone was getting married for the 3rd or 4th time, i'd begin to think that marriage is a joke to them.  but everyone deserves a second chance.  :)3. a little bit of both.

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    1. Did you write your own vows? We haven't gotten there yet, but I know we will not be writing our own.2. If a couple writes their own vows, do you judge what they say and promise to each other? For example: if one is marrying for the second time and promises "forever" or "One and only love" do you giggle to yourself and say "This time?" No. I usually don't even pay attention to what they say.3. Do you prefer serious or lighthearted vows? Serious. There is a fine line between lighthearted and cheesy.
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    1) Umm. Kind of?  Didn't actually get to "writing them."  Just sort of said what came to me at the time. 2)  I've never actually been to a wedding outside of my own, but if I'm honest with myself, I would probably snicker a little3)  Serious, with a little lightheartedness mixed in (especially if it's spur of the moment)
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    1. FI wants to write our own, while I very much do not. 2. Why do I not want to write my own? Because I do tend to judge these types of vows.  Sometimes they are just over-the-top cheesy, or they are trying too hard to be funny and really aren't. I probably wouldn't giggle at the second marriage vows that are written by the bride and groom.  You could apply that logic to "traditional" vows if you wanted to, so it's not specific to the individually written kind.3. A mix of both, leaning towards light-hearted.  I think it has to be done carefully though.
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    1. Not planning on it.2. No, I am a cynic about a lot of things, but not that.3. Lighthearted. My BFF and her hubband had the most endearing and funny vows I'd ever heard, it almost made me want to write my own vows... almost but not quite.
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    1. no, we will not.  I am not that creative and saying my own vows would be embarrassing. 2.  I think forever is fine--marriage is a promise for forever even if its the second time around.  One & only love is a little weird.  I mean, presumably they did love ex-spouse, right?  I've never been married before, but even I wouldn't call my FI my "one & only love."  I was madly in love with my ex-boyfriend.  3.  no preference.  As long as it fits the couple and isn't too weird.
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    1. no - neither one of us was articulate enought to take on such a project.2.  I actually have not seen too many wedding where the coupld wrote their own vows.  I did hear one set and yes I did judge this woman.  She is a complete b*tch and her vows were suppose to be funny and lighthearted.  Because she is such a b*tch her lightheartedness was lost and we all knew this guy was in for a very long married.3.  I like a combo of both.  But like the story above not everyone can pull it off without looking like an a$$.(although from your posts you can pull it off without a problem)






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    1. Did you write your own vows?  Not really, we personalized the ones already written.  2. If a couple writes their own vows, do you judge what they say and promise to each other?   Nah.  Maybe this time is will last a lifetime.  Unless I know the situation I normally don't care.3. Do you prefer serious or lighthearted vows?Lighthearted ones can be cute, but I agree there is a thin line where you are trying to be too cheesy and it seems like the vows are not sincere. 
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    1. We mixed pieces of different traditional vows and added in our own words as well.2. I do not judge anyone's vows.3. I like both, but the lightheartedness shouldn't be overdone.
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    1. I will. I haven't yet. 40 days out, and I think I probably need to get on that. 2. I haven't personally paid enough attention to vows to judge them. I'm hoping FI is really the only one who pays attention to mine. 3. I like a mix.
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    1. Did you write your own vows? I don't think we will write our own vows.  We will probably stay fairly traditional.  We will probably save that more personal stuff for the reception2. If a couple writes their own vows, do you judge what they say and promise to each other?  I do judge if they write the vows themselves.  Like if it's too childlike or doesn't seem like either party is capable of fulfilling the promise they've made.  3. Do you prefer serious or lighthearted vows? I prefer vows that give a little insight into the nature of the couple - if it really suits them light hearted is fine.  I don't care much for inside jokes that only the two of them know about.
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    1. Did you write your own vows? Nope FI was chicken about it. Still need to pick them out actually. 2. If a couple writes their own vows, do you judge what they say and promise to each other? For example: if one is marrying for the second time and promises "forever" or "One and only love" do you giggle to yourself and say "This time?"It depends on how much back ground I know about the people. Maybe yes maybe no.3. Do you prefer serious or lighthearted vows?I prefer serious but cute. If that makes any sense.
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    1.  We will be much to my chagrin.2.  I've actually never been to a wedding at which the B&G recited their own vows, but I don't think I'd pay that much attention to the specific words.  Say what's important to you and don't worry how other people with react to it.3.  I think a little lighthearted-ness is good in such a serious setting.  But, like a PP said, too much will make them cheesy and dumb.
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    1. We're actually going to do the old school vows. The pastor will say his spiel and we'll say "i do"2. I totally do.3. somewhere in the middle.  It should be taken seriously but the B&G should still sound like they're happy and excited.
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    1. We didn't.  I really liked the vows that our officiant picked and H was nervous about just repeating let alone writing.2. No, I think if two people sincerely intend to be together for the rest of their lives then they deserve to be taken seriously and not judged.  3. I prefer vows that reflect the couple.  But I lean toward serious and sentimental.
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    1.  Kind of.  We're writing in advance what we'll say to each other.  So, it will be the same for both of us.  And, we'll probably take inspiration from other people too.  2.  I judge people the same for first or second marriages.  So, cheesy or sexist vows I'd give side-eye to, but not about "forever".3.  I like either one - so long as they are sincere and reflect something real about the couple saying them.  They can be laugh-out-loud funny if that's what's "right" for the bride and groom.
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    1. No. I actually really like the idea that the vow I took has been said by millions of people. Makes it seem more serious. 2. No, if I show up at someone's wedding it's because I really care about them, so I don't judge. I'll either say to myself "what awesome vows" or "meh" but I won't dwell on the negative, because I don't do that with my friends. 3. More serious, but lighthearted are OK too.
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    1. We aren't going to. It seems like such a great idea, but I know I would just end up getting completely overstressed about it. 2. Not at all. 3. Lighthearted with a touch of serious.
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    1) Negatory. The Catholic Church has written my vows!2) Yes, I typically cringe because the "heartfelt words" always sound too cheesy and cliché for me. I roll my eyes sometimes, and then feel bad. 3) Serious vows, but I sometimes like when a bit of humour is injected too. Example: "I promise to always love and respect you, as long as your socks are always picked up"
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    1. We did, but we also did the traditional ones2. I don't think I've ever heard anything wacko that deserved judging, but if I did, I would.3. Ours were serious, I wanted to make people cry.
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    We wrote our own and said traditional vows. I haven't ever been to a second wedding so I idk from personal experience. But if it is the 2nd wedding I don't think I would have any snide comments. However after 2, then I would find it silly for statements like you gave. Mine were a combo of serious/romantic and funny. His were serious/romantic. He made everyone cry, I made them all laugh. It was a good reflection of us, which I enjoy to see when couple write their own.
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    1. No, we're far too traditional for that. Plus, the vows typically used in our service say what we would have come up with anyway.2. Yes and no. Forever I wouldn't giggle at because I assume people go into marriage thinking forever. One and only love obviously isn't true, or why did you get married before? When it's realistic, there's nothing funny about it. But pretending the first marriage didn't exist is ridiculous too.3. A good mix. I think people should take vows seriously, so if you're laughing the whole time, the gravity of the promise probably isn't there for you. But, I think good marriages involve laughter and lightheartedness, and I think it's important that vows reflect real life.
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    1.  Nope2.  Not really.  I wouldn't remember what they said anyway.  I hoped nobody judged me because it was my second marriage (traditional vows though).3.  Either serious or a mix of both.  The vows are solemn, but there's no reason the couple can't throw a little humor in there if it means something to them.
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    1. Did you write your own vows?  We did, but we also said the traditional vows.2. If a couple writes their own vows, do you judge what they say and promise to each other? For example: if one is marrying for the second time and promises "forever" or "One and only love" do you giggle to yourself and say "This time?" I've never been to a wedding, other than my own, where the couple wrote their own vows.3. Do you prefer serious or lighthearted vows? A mix.  Ours were mostly serious, with a joke or two thrown in.
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    1 ) I wrote the whole ceremony, so yep :)2) honestly...if it's a couple where they got married young and made some mistakes and are now older and wiser, then I wouldn't judge. If they had been married like..2 years prior and didn't learn from the experience and promised to love each other forever, I'd probably giggle.3) A little bit of both makes me happy.
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