More of a rant than a question... Cliff's notes at end:My mom is coming in 3 weeks to go dress shopping with me and spend the weekend helping with whatever wedding stuff I come up with that needs done. Her trip down here has been planned for about 2 or 3 months. About a month ago we got an invitation to FI's cousins' wedding that is the weekend my mom will be in town. FI is not close to his cousin (to the point where I wouldn't know him if I passed him in the street and I've been with FI for 6 years - I was "and guest" on the invite). FI is not close to his family. His dad was an abusive alcoholic and FI left home at 18 and didn't establish any kind of adult relationship with FMIL until his parents divorced. FMIL said we didn't need to invite all the extended family if we didn't want to, and to do what made us happy, so FI's cousins are not on our guest list. Since we made that decision and booked a venue based on a guest list and budget that didn't include a lot of his extended family (she's one of 6 - lots of cousins) she's been really snarky and passive aggressive about his not having a relationship with his extended family. I think that my mom being in town is a valid reason to respectfully decline and send a card with a check but skipping the cousin's wedding would just give FMIL more ammo for her commentary. FI feels like he just can't win and he won't go alone. RSVP's are due this week.Cliff's notes: FI's cousins wedding is same weekend my mom will be in town from out of state. If we skip the wedding FMIL has more ammo for her blasting FI about family togetherness, if we go I leave my mom at my house in a strange city alone for half a day and miss out on time I could spend with her that is limited due to us living far apart. RSVP is due this week. - FML