My favorite facebook updates of the day.

saschaduran

#1: Is goin to SCHOOL BABY!!!!!!  Yea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   #1's friend: good mama...get your scholl on...#2: Well.im just at home...tryin to look for a job...hope I get one soon.#2: I just had lunch with mi agima at wendys...just eat a chili cuz im broke lol   #2's friend:  Well I had a value meal, but then again I drive a Chevy, not a BMW so I can afford it.  (#2 drives a newer BMW)#3: (edited version) Since all my friends flaked on me for my bday last night I got all dressed up and went out alone and hurt em soon as I walked out the door.  I was blasting JayZ and looked at myself in the mirror and said YEAHHHHH whats up I'ma stunner!!  And all night guys and girls were breaking their neck to look at me.

mocha beans

Oddly, I have no interesting ones today.  Usually one of them has TMI pregnancy ones, but today was just about being ready for the weekend already.

colleenspencer

Seems like mine are mostly people saying what they're watching on TV tonight.

MissSarah786

Steve is wondering.... if money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

MissSarah786

has had amnesia for as long as he can remember

colleenspencer

this one was pretty good "don't go ninja'n nobody that don't need ninja'n!"

mocha beans

"Mapquest really needs to start their directions on #5.  Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood."  Kinda humorous.

saschaduran

Eww...colleen that's good. What does feeling ninja or ninjaing someone mean anyways?  I don't get it.

colleenspencer

lol Sascha watch this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjcplFIlvNI

opalsky007

"Heather doesn't get why she can't stand her yogi. All she can figure is that his vocal tone and speech rhythms somehow set off her pissed off biitch switch."

saschaduran

That is my favorite accent, and the only one I can properly mimic.  Redneck at heart, I guess.I saw an awesome youtube about ninja cat once.  Reminds me of my daughter's creepy cat.

lyndausvi

TM asks "Why is life so complicated?"  - TM is 12 years old. Another guy wants his house rented.  He will give you a $1000 commission if you find someone. I have 2 hardcore Republicans as friends. They are normally good for some interesting status posts.  But not tonight.

colleenspencer

complicated huh ?  that's a pretty big word for a 12 year old.

bbyckes

I don't know what to make of this: Ok FB Fam I need help... I'm tired of dating loosers so I'm looking for you guys to hook a sista up... If you have any single male friends 30 and over and you think they would be a good fit let me know.... Send me an e-mail with the info... Thanks allI just don't know why you'd put your business out there like that. But, if it works...

lyndausvi

complicated huh ? that's a pretty big word for a 12 year old. Maybe it's on her weekly vocabulary list?  I just laughed.btw - I look at your siggy think you are Fische with a new picture.

Marbely

Not a facebook update... rather a invitation, a wedding invitation!!!! GETTING MARRIED!!! YEAH!! Come and CELEBRATE with us!!! This is a pay your own plate event (~ $20-$25)!

colleenspencer

Lynda,   I posted a joke last night and "that's a pretty big word for a 12 yr old"...was the punchline.

amber1011

I have this gem:"theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen."

colleenspencer

OMG Amber that's nasty.

jackie8582

Not much happening on my FB tonight........ Amy is wondering What if the hokey-pokey is really what it's all about? Her friend thinks that would mean that "Grease really is the word!" Thats all I got, Nothing beats the one about the girl sick of dating loosers and wants to be hooked up. That made me laugh.

colleenspencer

This is my status right now:   Hellooooo sandwich fairy..please come to my house. I'm starving.

mocha beans

That's a lovely one Marbely.Ewww, why would anyone be inclined to actually say that, Amber?

saschaduran

loosers..hehe

Loopyseven

apparently my friend is even more nuts than I thought.  He posts: Do you think deaf people have internal dialog in their minds? and if they do is it quiet or is one hand signing to the other?

salt78

I'm frustrated that my friends don't have dumber updates.

Ciaram22

This is the best I got, from my friend that I was complaining about the other night. "Okay so I need some help here.....Not having any family up here really sucks sometimes....I need to find a babysitter that can watch my kids once maybe twice a week depending on my schedule.....If anyone has any suggestions PLEASE let me know ASAP........."

CurlyQ284

My friends husband posted this: "Ohhh snap I want this to be my seed ASAP" and there's a video of a baby doing like ninja moves with his lil hands and going "wahhhhhhh!" like in the martial arts movies.  It's pretty hilarious.I posted about I can't wait to move and FIs "favorite" cousin wrote this paragraph reply that was ON MY WALL about how I'm a loser because we don't have jobs and we'll be moving in with my parents up there (reallllll nice, we both got laid off and there's no work here and my parents live outside a major city...she runs an in-house, under the table daycare which you can do anywhere!).  She was bitchiing about how us moving is affecting her The whole paragraph about my loser-ness is riddled with misspellings and grammar problems.  Who's the loser now biitch!

betrothed123

I know I'm late to this, but when I checked my facebook last night I shook my head at my friend's status.  I thought some of you ladies might get a kick out of it: just married !!!! Yeah dont worry all were having a ceramony next yr to renew our vows back home so all can attend !!She wasn't engaged a week ago.