anyone cant stand your inlaws?

sammyjo0320

long story short..ever see the show Everybody Loves Raymond?..well thats my life in a nutshell. FMIL is nuts and pushy and very opinionated and things shes better than everyone in this world. well.. we had our final meeting at our hall on saturday to finalize everything and of course she was there. i feel like they try to show off their money and they volunteered to pay for a cheese and cracker tower thing to have before dinner. well she ended up getting the fruit, veggies and cheese and cracker tower and paid $1000!!!! who pays that much for cheese and crackers?! not to mention they are paying like $2000 for a damm rehersal dinner which i think is ridiculous! i dont know.. i hate that i dont like her..but she just doesnt make it easy! anyone who doesnt like FMIL please tell me how you deal!

vicmo5

I feel so bad that she wants to spend her money on you. 

danieliza1127

Your mad that she's spending money on your wedding?  That's a new one.  Why do you care so much how they spend their money, especially when it benefits you?

tidetravel

Wait, you're upset because she's spending $ on your wedding...  Well, obviously she's witch.

MeaghanandMichael

I know the things she is paying for seem excessive but I don't see what the big deal is. If anything it will make your wedding a little bit nicer and you don't have to spend a dime! If she started bragging to people about how much she spent that would be another issue... Just say thank you or don't accept any of it at all.

jsassy

Accept everything graciously, and then once the wedding is over, try to stay away from her.

betrothed123

So you can't bring yourself to like her because she wants to help you and your FI out with the wedding costs?  That evil witch!

colleenspencer

I love my in laws.  I don't love their ultra conservative views on just about everything.  I just choose to not discuss certain subjects with them.  It also helps that they live far away from us and we only see them a couple of times a year.

sunflower1998

While that does seem a bit pricey for a fruit/veggie/cheese tray, I wouldn't stick my nose up at ANY offer. How does someone offering to buy something for you make it hard for you to like them?  I don't get it.

LarissaAnn

You're nuts. My MIL didn't come to our wedding because got got mad at me. She stopped talking to H, her oldest son, because of it. My H can't see his little brothers because of it. THAT is bad. If she'd wanted to help out with our wedding, even if it meant adding extra food we didn't particularly want or need? I'd have been turning freakin' cartwheels. Say "thank you" and get over yourself.

cmhershey

So your FMIL is paying for some food for your wedding, and forking money for the rehearsal dinner.  You're so right, how dare she do something nice for you!

wed0608

I think that I, personally, would be a little more grateful for things like that from my in-laws. With my wedding, my parents were pretty conservative but still helped us have a great reception. However, there were a few instances where my husband's parents were able to step in and provide a few extras for us that really helped us feel like all of our guests were being treated well. As long as your in-laws aren't doing anything to make your parents or family feel inferior or inadequate, or holding stuff over you or your fiance's head, I would gratefully accept their help. I know a lot of the things my MIL did, she did because she truly wanted to help and give us all the things she thought she wanted. If her motives aren't that pure, however, you do need to handle it carefully with her.

J&K10910

I think the only way it's a bad thing for her to be spending this money is if she's biitching about how expensive it is.  She's not?  Then STFU and say thank you.

swans alive

Wow, really? I'm feeling feisty this morning because I (FINALLY) finished typing up our programs, and a post like this just sparks me right up. You are a peach. Or maybe a prune. If you're so tired of her opinions, then why did you take her money? It seems to me like that was actually pretty nice of her, volunteering to spend a total of $3k on your wedding/rehearsal dinner. If you dislike her so much, you could've declined the offer. I think you're very ungrateful, and possibly very young. Either way, learn your manners, thank her for what she's spending, and learn how to be a big girl.

mmm_080809

Seriously? I would LOVE it if my biggest problem with my MIL was that she tried to pay for a lovely rehearsal dinner for our friends and family. MIL called DH 9 days after our wedding and tried to convince him to get an apartment on his own down the street from her, "just in case" it doesn't work out between us.

nda_roxybabe

The nerve!

ring_pop

Yum. $1,000 cheese. Can I come to your wedding?

sunflower1998

I foresee a DD in the future.. maybe.

vicmo5

What kind of cheese is included in this tower?

angiebear11

you're right. you're FMIL sounds like such a bitcch. you poor thing.

Calypso1977

if you dont like how they flaunt their money then you should have politely declined any offers from them for financial assistance. getting "free money" from parents always sounds so good when tehy are writing out the check, but 99.9% of the time it comes with strings attached.

jackie8582

Maybe OP's FMIL didn't pay for the food to be nice, but to have something to hold over them. My ex in-laws did that all the time! And what really sucked was that we needed all the help we could get so we just accepted and then dealt with the remarks afterward. I always felt like I owed them something which would make me cringe whenever she offered to pay for something.

lyndausvi

you again???  Ummm.. Who cares?  A $1000 is a lot to some and nothing to others.  Just because they are paying for something and you think it's a lot does not mean they are trying to show of their money. Just say thank you and move on.    

tidetravel

And what really sucked was that we needed all the help we could get so we just accepted and then dealt with the remarks afterwardYou dug your own hole there, then.

MeaghanandMichael

you again??? Ummm.. backstory Lynda?

nda_roxybabe

Lynda- I reconize the name too with that same thought but I can't remember what it was about....help?

NuggetBrain

Really?  Just....reeeeeally?  That's what you're mad about?  So who cares if they show off their money?  They're trying to make their son's wedding nice and memorable. I'm sorry, but you sound full of the suck.

missy68

Wow. All I've thought about is how nice it would have been to have had my FI's mom be able to be with us Saturday, since she passed away 10 years ago. She's not able to see her son get married.  

lyndausvi

I can't remember.  She was acting like a brat I made a comment about her name reminding me of Heather Locklear's character on Dynasty named Sammy Jo.

betrothed123

Maybe OP's FMIL didn't pay for the food to be nice, but to have something to hold over them. As is stated repeatedly on this board, all we have to go on is what the OP put there.  Her ranting wasn't about the strings attached.  In fact, she never even mentioned strings.  She was ranting about the following:i feel like they try to show off their money and they volunteered to pay for a cheese and cracker tower thing to have before dinner.

sammyjo0320

pretty sure if you actually read what i wrote..im not complaining that they are spending money. i am very grateful they are helping but the way they are doing it they are making it seem like "ha i have all this money i can throw at everything and everybody" is the attitude they have. they are always like this, planning a wedding or not. they are very opinionated and pushy people who think they are always right. i did not ask for anyone to comment about the cheese trays. i asked for opinions on how to deal with my in laws.