Sept 11, 2010??

KellyLovesJames

I thought about this date too... but couldn't do it.  My company lost a lot of people that day. 

awed81

I chose around that date. But, if it was a *last* resort, I would have sucked it up. I just didn't want the initial reaction of guests and friends to be "September 11th?? What an odd/weird/sad date to have your wedding on." If you are going to be uncomfortable telling people that is your wedding date, don't do it. You will get asked this CONSTANTLY. There are 365 days in the year and that date is pretty much the only one that has specific negative connotations to the entire country.

danieliza1127

As long as you don't have any friends or family members who were directly affected by 9/11, and you know they wouldn't be hurt by you choosing that date, then I see nothing wrong with it.  You might want to ask your real life friends and family to get their opinions though, since they're the ones that will be attending.

FutureMrs.McC

I'll admit I didn't read all of the responses but from what I did read I'm in the minority. I just went to a wedding on Sept 11, 2009 and one of my BF's is getting married on that date next year.  At first, I thought it was weird but now I've changed my mind.  I think it's important to remember what happened, take a moment to think about it.  But we should live that day to the fullest.  Celebrate that as an American you enjoy freedoms that others do not.  Don't let the terrorist win and disrupt our lives.

mandysmear

I think that it's still very fresh for a lot of people.  In 10 maybe even 5 years it might not be so much of a tender subject.  But, that's just me.  A lot of people are saying, "why not?"  So, if that's their initial reaction, then that's great.  Perhaps I'm just more sensitive to things like that.  My mom died in February.  I wanted a winter wedding and refused to touch that month whatsoever.  For no real good reason except for the fact that it's the month she died.

wadingmoose

In Canada, we "celebrate" Remembrance Day (remembering the wars).  I wouldn't get married on Remembrance Day because of what it represents.  While it's fine to move on and celebrate life, sometimes it's just too soon.Since all of the venues have that day open, it would seem that for many people, it's just too soon.And Nebb, while I can't control a birthday, I can control an anniversary.  I do wish I could control birthdays because in a couple of years apparently the world is destined to end on my birthday.Happy Birthday to me.

JessAndTrav

If you live in New York, then I'd probably say no. If you live somewhere else, then I agree with what others are saying, unless someone you know or your FI knows was directly involved. The example of December 7th is so excellent---would you choose not to get married on that day because it was the attack at Pearl Harbor? Probably not. Next year will be 9 years since September 11 became September 11. If you feel okay with it, then do it.

GlamGalRN

wow, i didn't realize that many people would respond so fast! thanks!! I live in Philly, so it is between NYC and DC, but my family and i don't know anyone who was killed in the attacks. I feel like i would plan a wedding on dec 7th and not even think twice about it, but sept 11 is something that happened so recently; even 50 years from now I feel like i'll still remember watching it unwind on tv in shock. I just got off the phone w/one venue and they said they would take 10% off if I had it on 9/11. I don't know though.. I'll keep it in mind. Thanks again!

Nebb

Wading, your birthday is 4 days before mine then. Atleast you get a birthday that year

ffmaid

If you do do this consider writing out the word eleven in all your date info September Eleventh Twothousand and ten Makes me think negative less then September 11 2010 Or 9/11/2010

anna.oskar

As someone who lost people on September 11th, I wouldn't hold it against you but I also wouldn't attend as it is a day of reflection for my family and feels wrong to "drink and be merry"

fangsiting

Fang,When does that magical switch flip where it becomes approriate, then? Is it 15 years after the event? 20? There isn't a magic number of years--it's just however long it takes for people to stop associating 9/11 with terrorism.  And actually, I don't know if I would go so far as to say that it's inappropriate to have a wedding on that date.  I just don't know why you would want your wedding on a day when people are thinking about such a tragic event.   

kate51485

I used to work at the Pentagon in one of the areas that was destroyed...so for me I think it would be difficult to have my own wedding on that day.  This might sound weird but I think going to someone else's wedding would be a great way to bring my spirits up on that day!  I think as long as you're okay with it, it would be fine.

LnDUBS

I'm getting married in the fall of 2010. That was the only request that FMIL had, not to pick that day. I wasn't going to anyways, it just seems weird to me.

mandysmear

What's the exact date of the end of the world?

JessAndTrav

I got to thinking and I forgot to mention that after 9/11, if you were living in America, you saw American Pride stuff everywhere. Now, not so much. People get all dramatic about 9/11 every year, and I understand if you're an American raising a flag that day or something, but I know zero people who really 'observe' that day. Granted I'm in Texas, so life here is different, but that's what I mean. If you're not in NY or even in the upper east coast, you should do it if it feels okay to you. People don't mourn August 23. That's the day Hurricane Katrina changed the lives of many, many people in the south. But I'm sure someone here got married on August 23 last year, when it was a Saturday. Life happens, You move on. Remember the tragedy, but don't continue to be tragic.

Nebb

December 21st 2012

awed81

I think another major difference between pearl harbor day and 9/11 is that September 11th is actually called "9/11", the date, and not "The terrorist attacks on NYC, etc". So it keeps the date on the forefront of any and all news about the attacks. And thinking back on 9/11 of this year, it's pretty much all that was covered on the news and what a lot of people talked about. So I would expect it to be the same next year.

betrothed123

it's just however long it takes for people to stop associating 9/11 with terrorism.That's kind of my point, though.  There will always be people who associate 9/11 with terrorism, just as I'm sure there are still people who mourn on Dec 7 every year, or December 26, or any other day there was a terrible tragedy.  That doesn't mean people shouldn't celebrate good things that happen that day.

tenofcups4me

Like many others here, I don't think it's disrespectful per se, but really depends on your family and friends. I was living in NYC then and many of my friends were as well, so we have very distinct bad memories of that day in a way that *might* be a little more personal than someone in the midwest, for example, who didn't have a personal connection to what was happening. (Before anyone jumps on me, that's not to say that people in the midwest weren't affected, but I know many people who were personally affected and many who didn't know anyone affected -- and their responses to the day tend to be different.)

MissSarah786

HAHAHA - Nebb. Great date for a wedding.

wadingmoose

"get a birthday" meaning turn older?  Sure. Have my family remember it?  Probably not.   I'm sure you understand that pain.

Pirata13

Hey Expat!  what's with hatin' on Friday the 13th?!?!  I was born on Friday the 13th and 13 is my lucky number!  Our rehearsal dinner will be Friday the 13th. If we didn't have so many people who would have to travel even a couple hours (we have several OOTs and FI's family will have to drive about 2 hours) we definitely would have had a Friday the 13th wedding! 

Nebb

Oh the joys of having a birthday on/around christmas. If I had a nickle for everytime ive heard the phrase "Your birthday is on christmas, that must suck!!" (thanks, glad to know my birthday sucks), id be moderately wealthy!

mandysmear

I didn't know it was in december.  I knew it was supposed to happen in 2012.  Sweet, now I know.

KellyLovesJames

haha @ PirataI was born on a Friday the 13th and I love them!  We saw August 13th was on a Friday in 2010 and I seriously considered it! We have the same issue with people traveling though. 

wadingmoose

So, you know, as the world is ending that day, please remember me.  (This will also mean that you knot too much, btw)

fangsiting

That's kind of my point, though. There will always be people who associate 9/11 with terrorism, just as I'm sure there are still people who mourn on Dec 7 every year, or December 26, or any other day there was a terrible tragedy. That doesn't mean people shouldn't celebrate good things that happen that day. I'm sure something tragic has happened on every day of the year throughout history, but 9/11 is still fresh in people's minds.  My grandmother will be our only guest who was still alive in 1941.  FI's 5 year old cousin will be the only guest who was not alive in 2001.  The percentage of people affected by 9/11 in our society far surpasses the people who would still mourn Pearl Harbor.  If it weren't for that Ben Affleck movie, I bet the majority of Americans wouldn't even know what happened at Pearl Harbor.  I'm not saying you have to mope around on 9/11 every year or that you can't celebrate good things that happen on that year--have a bottle of champagne if you get promoted on 9/11 for pete's sake.  I'm just saying that Americans immediately think of the terrorist attacks when you say 9/11.  Why you would purposely pick a day that the majority of people associate with terrorism?   

laladypoet

I wouldn't do it for the simple fact of having to go through this conversation  for the rest of your life:"When is/was your wedding??""Sept 11, 2010."*pause*"Uh...why THAT day? that's kinda morbid...""Well, it is/was cheaper..."

kate51485

JessandTrav has a good point...Remember the tragedy, but don't continue to be tragic.