I wanted to come and apologize for some of my recent behavior. For a month or so before, I was having a very hard time IRL. I don't deal with loss well and taking it out on P&E was wrong. I just came to say my piece and I don't have any expectations of anyone welcoming here like nothing happened. The situation with Lala did get out of hand but titling as blackmail is just as ridiculous as the argument. I went to google laladypoet and knot to find more of the offensive comments about Jews that she was making. I found something online and didn't post it but made a vague reference to it. When she asked me to take it down, I was surprised considering the things she says here and how unapologetic she is about things in general. I just wanted her to stop referencing Jews in such a negative way. I attempted to negotiate, not blackmail, to get her to stop saying the things that offended me and other Jewish knotties. Of course, when she asked people to come online and post to defend her, making it a bigger situation than it is, it got to explosive levels. This was not my intention at all and although the blame has been solely on me, it really shouldn't be. Lala made some very offensive comments about Jews. If that is acceptable for P&E, then I have no interest in returning at all. Again, I do want to apologize to the people that I chatted with. I know I went too far with things I said the last month I was on. The summer was very difficult for me and I am not trying to excuse what I did but give some perspective as to why I acted that way.