NWR: Dog Question...

ExpatPumpkin

It was just Oscar and me for the last two and a half years before I got married, and he used to sleep with me... DH loves him, but won't allow him [i]on[/i] the bed, however. So now he sleeps [i]under[/i] the bed. Now, we might have a little problem... For the last month or so, Oscar has been jumping up to sleep on the bed with me after my husband goes to work. It's really hard to tell him to get down - he cuddles up right next to me and his face is so sweet So, is this a problem? DH would be mad if he found out... Is this too confusing for Oscar, or can it be our secret?

kikibaby

Why would he be mad about the dog being on the bed?

MeaghanandMichael

Coming from a person who lets both her dogs sleep in her bed (my husband really had no say) all I can say is wash your sheets often...

laurenclaire1386

I have exactly the same situation with FI.  My boxer sleeps under the bed until FI leaves to go to work, then she jumps up with me.I figure it's pretty harmless and what FI doesn't know won't hurt him.  Obviously, I don't condone lying to an SO, but I think this is pretty harmless.

danieliza1127

It seems pretty harmless to me.  What's your H's reason for not wanting the dog on the bed? 

mandysmear

My dog gets hot and jumps off the bed within half an hour of bedtime.  But, when my H leaves in the morning Cabana jumps back on the bed.  It's strange.  I would let it be your secret.  I don't think your husband should get mad, he's not there when it's happening. 

EmmaBride2B

Unless it's an allergy issue or something, I probably wouldn't say anything. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I just don't see the big deal.

bbyckes

kiki, is it too much of a stretch to think some people would be uncomfortable with sleeping with an animal or having an animal in their bed?  We didn't grow up with pets being allowed to be on furniture.  So this isn't odd at all. Expat, unfortunately, I'd probably be inclined to be in the "what he doesn't know, won't hurt him camp." 

ExpatPumpkin

DH comes from an "animals are for outside only" family, so having Oscar in the house was a major step for him. Now he LOVES him, always has him on his lap, etc. But he draws the line at the bed...

mandysmear

My husband grew up like this also.  I did not.  If he ever told me Cabana couldn't sleep on the bed I don't know what I'd do.  I might sleep in the spare room with him. Honestly.  I am a bad wife.  But, I love my dog.  He sleeps at the foot of the bed anyway.  He's not hurting anything.

SwedishChick2011

As long as the dog doesn't start jumping up on the bed when your DH is there, I don't see any harm in it.  Poor little Oscar just misses sleeping in the bed with you.  Just make sure you remove any pet hair so your DH doesn't find out...

salt78

Awwww Oscar should always be allowed in the bed. He's just a little guy isn't he? (Great name too! I have a cat named Oskar!)

J&K10910

Well.  I'm on the other side of the fence.  I mean, while it does seem relatively harmless to let the dog sleep in the bed with your after your H leaves, when we were trying to train Minka to stay off the counter, I'd yell at her and spray her, but FI would just let her be up there.  It pissed me off because I felt like we didn't agree on disciplining her and my hard work to keep her off the counters was being undone by him.  I just don't know if it's worth pissing your husband off, ya know?

tidetravel

I think it depends on his reason for not allowing the dog in the bed - I can understand HIM not being comfortable sleeping with the dog, but in this case, he's not - you are.

kikibaby

Nope, cacoffer- not a stretch.  I was honestly just asking, not trying to be snarky or anything.My FI didn't want dogs on the bed, but when we adopted our baby together, he changed his mind.  I'm just a sucker and I love cuddling with my 'kids'- a dog on one side of me, cat on the other.  I can definitely understand why some people wouldn't like it, though.As far as advice- yeah, just let it be a 'secret'.  It's probably not an important thing to tell DH.

aMrsin09

H also came from that mind set.  He told he would prefer that the cats didn't sleep on the bed.  I told him he was free to work on that with them and to let me know how it all turned out.  By the end of the first week he started to know he had over slept if he woke up and Bella wasn't draped over his feet.

ac_in_dc

DH felt the same way about my dog...he grew up with dogs and loves them, but his dogs growing up were always hunting dogs and they slept outside. At first he didn't want the dog on the bed at all. Then I confessed to him that the dog was on the bed a few times, apologizing. He was pretty tolerant about it, and has slowly come around. Our compromise is that I wash the sheets a lot and also keep the dog on my side of the bed when he's up there.

vallyhoo

This is a slippery slope... we never allow our dogs on the LR furniture. I was really down earlier this year and when my FI was working late, I would fall asleep on the couch and the dogs would jump up there with me. I thought it was fine, but eventually they would jump up there with me when he was home and he would just give me a knowing look that I was letting them up there.So all that to say, I think you have to be consistent. I have since stopped allowing the dogs on the furniture at all, and they are fine on the floor. If you really want the dog to sleep with you (he is rather small if I remember from your pictures), you can train him to only sleep at the foot of the bed.

ExpatPumpkin

He is just a little guy And he thinks he's a person... Here's a picture of him on the guest bed in my office: [img]http://photos-b.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs234.snc1/8127_153902685215_695500215_3202536_3349495_n.jpg[/img]

tidetravel

If Oscar's already figured out on his own that he can sleep in the bed when daddy's not home, then I don't think it's confusing for him.  And, really - what can you do if he jumps up while you're asleep?  :P

gkb0910

He's so cute.  What kind is he?  I want one.

jadebaby

Our rolls were actually reversed on this subject at first. I grew up with cats and if we had a dog it would have slept on the floor in my parents' house. DH grew up always having a dog. So he was totally for our 120 lb dog sleeping in the bed with us. I was not. I think DH changed his mind when he realized that this 120 lb dog was able to push him off the bed. He has gotten better, and I dont mind it. I love when she snuggles. So my opinion is, keep it on the DL. But dont lie if he asks you about it. Speaking of this: I just got a text from DH that says: "I am still in bed with princess. I dont want to go to work " ... Um it is 11:30 you BUM! Get the hell up! To make it better though, the next text said "EWWW she just farted in my face!"   Good girl!

bbyckes

Expat, so cute!  Yeah, it'd be hard to say no to that little guy.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I have no idea how my parents ever got by sleeping with TWO beagles in their bed. Sometimes it's rough having 2 cats in MY bed, since one sleeps on the edge of the bed right next to me, and the other weighs 20 pounds and likes to sleep on FI's chest and legs.It seems like Oscar is trained to not get in the bed when H is there, so I wouldn't worry about it. I suspect the cats get up on the dining room table when I'm at work, but surprisingly they're smart enough not to do it in front of me, so there's really nothing I can do!

salt78

He is ADORABLE!!! Shih Tzu?

laurenclaire1386

Expat, it would be impossible for me to kick a dog that cute out of my bed.  I am a giant sucker.

ExpatPumpkin

He's a shih tzu. The perfect combination of a small dog and a "real" dog, i.e. he's not yappy, nervous, etc. Seriously, a great dog... Hilarious story about Princess!!!

ExpatPumpkin

Thanks for understanding! How could you kick that little guy off the bed??? He only comes bearing cuddles and kisses...

vicmo5

He is so cute! I had a Shih Tzu that I bought with my baby sitting money when I was in 8th grade.  She passed away right before we got our pug.  She was such an awesome dog.  H loves the pug but he says we're getting another Shih Tzu dog next.

casso004

Well, I would probably not say anything either. If my FI wanted to keep Ella off the bed, it would not happen because she is used to it. Most nights, she tries to keep him out of bed. It is not that easy just to tell a full grown dog that they can no longer do something that they have done for years. He can keep the dog off the bed with him if it is a problem for him, but should be understanding that you don't feel the same way. Since the dog is not a puppy, I imagine he is already confused about the change in policy and he associates it with your DH, so after he leaves, he jumps back on the bed. If your DH asks, I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't volunteer the information either.

amlewis83

Frankie (see below) is sitting next to me right now. He loves body heat once temp dip under 40. It breaks my heart to have him sleep alone in the colder months. He usually goes under the covers. I don't know what I would do if FI said he wasn't allowed in the bed.