Wedding called off

lynninco

So, one of my former bridesmaids did basically the same thing.  She was engaged to a really nice guy.  He wasn't doing anything against her.  She confided in me that she had cheated on him a few times.  I told her that I did not agree with her choices and I was plain out with her.  She flipped out and went up one side of me and down the other about she didn't confide to me for an opinion.  My response was that she knows that I give my opinion and I thought she was deflecting her anger at herself towards me.  She had moved out of their house and wanted me to come to her new apartment.  I couldn't because she has cats and I am highly allergic.  She immediately turned it into that I had issues with her cheating.  We didn't speak for about two months.  Then, suddenly, out of the blue she sent me an email and apologized for everything she had said and done. I think you shouldn't end the friendship unless it just happens.  Be honest with how you feel about her actions in general, don't bring up the decision to cancel the wedding as I am sure she is in pain about that.  Just tell her that you feel that for yourself, the two of you need to get through what her actions were.  If she gets upset one of two things will happen, she will either come back around or she will walk away.  You need to prep yourself for either decision.

katiewhompus

Like people have said, you don't have to support every decision for someone to be your friend. In college I had a lot of friends who would do drugs, skip classes, be crazy ho's, but they were still my friends.One of my closest friends (until she moved) that I met up here was married and had a 5 year but slept around a lot. I told her that it wasn't the way I viewed things and we moved on. Any time she would start to tell me stories I would just change the subject, especially when she started saying how she wanted to sleep with Scott (my dh, but long before we started dating). Fwiw, her husband was doing the same thing. I finally had a family powwow with both of them when they're daughter told me, point blank "mommy and daddy don't love me, could you be my mommy?".  They had gotten pregnant at 19, married at 20, and weren't ready. They thought they were protecting her from their activities and that "staying together for the kid" was the best.When I saw her at the wedding she told me she hadn't been with anyone else in 2 years and their marriage was actually working.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'd consider it none of my business, unless she brought it up. If she said, "Oh by the way..." I think it's perfectly fine to state that you don't support her actions and think they are mean and irresponsible (especially since she's supposed to be a role model to her child). But tell her if she wants to talk, you'll listen. If you judge her hereafter on everything she does because of this, the friendship won't last long.However, I also think that if she confesses everything to you and/or asks for an opinion, it's because she's feeling guilty and needs someone to tell it to her straight. But again, only when asked.