Young Brides-poll

jasmineh7777

So since I've been here, I've noticed that whenever someone posts something that's kinda BSC, one of the first questions is "How old are you?" I am 20, and when I got engaged no one where I live thought anything of it. In fact, many of my friends are married and have kids. Which has me thinking that marriage age varies pretty dramatically by region.  So.What is the average age that people get married where you're from?When you see a young bride on the boards, do you give her the side eye?What do you think is an acceptable age to get married and why?

janedoe1113a

I think it depends more on maturity than age.  A lot of people consider me a young bride because I'll be 23 when we get married.I give young brides a side eye because I know how much I've changed between 18 and now.  Shoot, how much I've changed between 21 and now.  At 18, I was in love with my high school sweetheart and knew we'd always be together.  We broke up 6 months after I got into college.  I think you need to spend some time being an adult before you jump into marriage.  You can't be a unit until you're an individual first.

Mrs.B6302007

What do you think is an acceptable age to get married and why?When a young bride is mature enough (no age number) to not have to ask a poll or data to justify her choice.

ggmae

1. I'd say the average age in my area is anywhere between 24 and 30. I don't really know for sure. I am the first of my friends to get married - most of them are dating people, but aren't close to being engaged or married. 2. No. I give people who say dumb things the side eye, regardless of age. 3. IMO, age is just a number and whether or not someone should get married depends on maturity. I am a younger bride (married at 22) and have always felt that I was more mature for my age - DH too.

jasmineh7777

I suppose I'll answer my own poll.I would say that it is not uncommon here for people to marry their high school sweethearts, and a lot of people are married shortly after they finish college.I only usually give people the side eye when the post involves asking family for money. I think that it is acceptable to get married when you are actually supporting yourself. That comes at a different age for everyone. Mrs. B- I wasn't looking for validation. I was just curious what's normal for different areas-I realize small town MT is different than a big city in NY. I won't be calling off the wedding if someone here thinks I'm too young.

Mrs.B6302007

Well, I'm glad you didn't take it that way b/c it was tongue in cheek. ;-)   We get this question quite a bit around here and it's usually "why is it anyone else's business how old I am?" and looking for support from other young brides on the boards.

kzsnyder

I grew up SOO much from about 21-24. I had grown up a lot at about 18 too, but then there was just more maturing at 21-24.   I can see why people have a problem with young brides. but on the same page, everyone matures at a different rate and level and time of their life.  I Agree w/ PP.  you need to be your own person and individual before you can commit to someone else.

jasmineh7777

Yeah, just thought it would be something to talk about. I worked with a few people who were from the East coast and they were shocked that most of my friends were married. I had never given it much thought before. I guess I was looking more for regional differences. For example, if my car breaks down at a stop light, there will be 5 people stopping to help.

Sooles

im 24 and i feel young for this (young, but ready). none of my friends are married yet.there are a few people i went to school with who are married now but other than that i think people around here generally wait a little longer. (late 20, early 30s?)

lyndausvi

I do not have a set age, it's all about maturity. My brother had a kid and was married by age 21.  That was 15 years ago.  They are doing great.  They had a great support system from both sides of the family.  They both graduated from college, have good jobs.  It worked for them. I do give a little side-eye to those who get married just to get out of mom and dad' or to just have sex.  Working dead end jobs with no future goals thought out.

duckie1905

Most of my friends from high school were married by the time they were 21, 22 years old.  I'm not friends with many of them anymore, though, because their lives were so full of drama that I couldn't take it.  Most of the drama was marriage and kid related and at 22 I really couldn't relate to that.  So, I kept my friends from college and pretty much fell out with almost everyone I went to grade school/high school with.The friends I hold now are getting married at about the age I'm at, 26-28 and it seems to working out better than the people I knew that got married straight out of (or while still in) college.

harbor_girl

I live in the DC area, and supposedly we have the highest average marriage age in the country (around 28 for women and 30 for men I think?) FI and I will be 26 when we marry, but we've been together for a long time and are ready. We are the first of our DC area friends to get engaged, however.

KitteeBride2Be

25-30 is about average. I'm 28 and I was one of first of my friends to get married. I think it's odd to have the desire to marry young. I wanted nothing less than to be tied down when I was in my early twenties. I loved being single and was a bit wild, so I guess I cant relate. Married life didn't appeal to me 8 years ago.I dont know. I really don't consider anyone an "adult", capable of making "adult" decisions, until they're over 25, honestly.

jasmineh7777

Yeah I don't understand getting married just to have sex. I mean, a little practice makes for a much better honeymoon.

nda_roxybabe

Back home (Alaska) alot of people I went to highschool with got married right away (18-20). In SC where I went to school a lot of people got married right out of college (22-24)I don't always give the side eye unless they are acting like a child. I know when I was engaged at 20 I was definitely not readyI think when you're mature enough. Under 21 seems too young to me. Although I know several people who get married younger than that and still are years later.

ggmae

A girl I know from HS got married 3 years ago at 19 to a guy she had just met the year before. She is a born-again Christian and made the decision not to share her first kiss with her husband until they were pronounced husband and wife (kind of reminds me of the Duggars.) It's an awful assumption to make, but my friends and I couldn't help but think that she got married just so she could kiss and have sex with him.

sarah0725

I'm 25 and I have a lot of unmarried friends who are my age or older. Lately there's been a spate of engagements, but most of us are getting married in 2011. I think in my situation, though, the later age is compounded by the fact that most of us are grad students so we're trying to fit our relationships around our dissertation and exam schedules.I don't think there's necessarily an acceptable cut-off age, as long as both parties have reached the age of majority. It really depends on the maturity level of the couple. I think the reason the "How old are you?" question comes up is because a lot of extremely immature people post on here asking dumb questions, and immaturity often correlates with a low number on age.I'm definitely glad I didn't marry the guy I was dating when I was 20 though. He was essentially illiterate and I realize in hindsight that I was pretty much only with him because of the hotness.

mwhitson14

Most of my friends get married out of college, so 22/23 is the normal age. I don't give her a side eye, I'm young myself. I more give her the side eye when she's 20 and throwing a hissy fit like a 5 year old. There's no acceptable age, in my opinion. It's not my place to judge someone's relationship by age, when there are 100 other factors that play into the success of the marriage.

Ciaram22

I'm also a young bride (married at 23). I really could care less what age people decide to marry at just as long as they are doing it for the right reasons. I have a couple I used to work with they got pregnant and ended up getting married at 17 and 19. they are now 19 and 21 and I never see them together. I also never see them with their son. The only time I see him he is with his grandma.I have several friends that I went to school with who are Mormons and they all can't wait to get married (most right out of high school) just so they can start popping out kids.If you think its the right time for you and you are ready for the commitment, then by all means go for it.

mandysmear

I think it depends on the person.  I think 20 is too young to be married.  I got married at 22 so I feel kind of hypocritical.  Because 2 years isn't all that much of a difference.  But, at the same time... it is.  Had I gotten married 3 years ago... holy crap that would have been the silliest thing ever.  I don't think you can really be ready for the commitment at that age. 

LindyL

I think a lot of people in my area get married within a few years of graduating from college. I was married at 22, so I was definitely considered a young bride. I only give side eye to the people who make me want to *facepalm* or *headdesk* with their stupidity. Whatever works best for the couple.

mandysmear

PS.  Where I come from not many people do get married.  But those who do usually do it after having a child.  I have a handful of friends who are getting married before having a child.

ann&cesar

I am only 21 and we got engaged when I was 20. I think it all depends on maturity level because I know some people who are the same age as me or older and act like they are 12. :-/ I don't know the average age of marriage around here because I have no friends :-( but I think it is mid 20s. I only think girls that are all RAWR bridezilla get the side eye from me. Or girls that can'y believe their parents are "only" giving them xxx amount for their weddings.

NuggetBrain

Out of Noodle's friends, we are the last to get married (out of the people who actually are marriage material, if you know what I mean). Out of my friends (and I only have a few because I'm anti-social), I'm the first to get married. We're both going to be 29 when we get married. I feel like we waited too long, to be honest. I think we should have gotten married at 27, but I'm glad we didn't get married at 22 because we were both still growing and maturing, and our relationship was not as strong as it is now. Then again, I'm apparently a very late bloomer anyways because I still haven't gotten my bachelor's degree, we still don't have a house, and I still don't feel my uterus screaming at me to start fillin' her up and popping out babies.

andyandhillary

Well I live in DC so Harbor girl answered that.I'm getting in W. MI though, where I am from, and the average age depends on the social group.  My group, (sounds awful but work with me lol) get's married in their mid 20s.  My FI's group, specifically his college, gets married either during college or the summer after.  They have what is called the "senior scramble" where everyone scrambles to find their mate like it's the end of the world.It isn't necessarily a bad thing though.  It is a small denomination's college and it's a great way for young people in that church to meet people with their faith and values.  Most marriages (heck, I'd even say 90%) work out great. 

mandysmear

Nugg I had no idea you were almost 29!  I thought you were more like 25.

tenofcups4me

Among my friends and family, the age of first marriage varied dramatically, anywhere from about 25 or 26 to late 40s (and some who haven't gotten married at all; don't know if they ever will). I can't really say what the average is, but I think most were late 20s to mid-30s. I literally don't know one person who I grew up with who got married before 24. And I can think of exactly one person I know who married her high school sweetheart, but they waited till a few years after college. I'm pretty sure they are still married. This is in Philly surburbs and NYC. I think 20 is insanely young and I'd do anything in my power to persuade a friend or relative to not even think about getting married at that age. But I can't say I care if it's a stranger on an internet board.

MeaghanandMichael

The unfortunate fact of the matter is that many BSC things on here are said by younger brides. We have some excellent exceptions to that rule and I am sure there are many many out there. I admit I tend to judge people by their age is they are very young (not able to drink) but I am more than willing to give any one the benefit of the doubt in the long run.

Caspy

I live in Mormon central (no offense to any Mormons, of course).  Most of my friends married when they were 18-22.  I held off until I was 23, but that's still pretty young.

jasmineh7777

Yeah I agree it really depends on where you are in your life. I already went through my hard partying stage. Now, FI and I are paying off a house.

jasmineh7777

Ten- That's what I think is interesting. I'll be 21 when I get married, but I know plenty of people who got married right out of highschool. Maybe part of it has to do with expectations. I also don't know anyone who relies on their parents for any financial support. I know I'm young, but my responsiblities don't differ from those of my parents.