Baby shower advice? and friend story.

tidetravel

Good morning everyone!I have a baby related question (sorry).  Friend (K) is trying to put together baby shower for me and needs a guest list.  I have 2 questions w/ the list, as the only baby showers I've been to have been work related, and I've heard conflicting answers to these questions.  I have my own thoughts on them, but wanted to see what the consensus was:#1 - Guests.  Is it still generally a woman-only event, or is it becoming more of a couples event?  I've heard of couples showers before, but don't know if it is appropriate for a baby shower.  DH and I will both be there.#2 - OOT guests.  Should I send invites to OOT people who I am pretty sure will not travel (mostly family)?  Seems gift-grabby to me, but parents insist it is normal.Oh yeah.  And K's sister kicked her out of her bridal party.  Because she's pregnant.

Stackeye210

I've only ever heard of women only showers, HOWEVER, the in laws were pretty confused that I was only inviting girls to my shower so I caved and let FIL, BIL and of course H come.  It didn't really stop any of the games or fun that we had, plus it was nice to have H help me open presents because I hate doing that in front of lots of people. Not sure about the OOT thing.  You might be surprised at who would travel to your shower, people get all crazy when new baby's are on their way.

ffmaid

1. ask the hostess if she is thinking women only or coed. Most are women only still as guys hate showers. The father needs to attend if coed( would he want to?) 2.Your mom his mom and your sisters get oot invites. Beyond that think about your family who would be honored and want to attend from oot? Invite those folks. Who would view it as an auto rsvp no and consider it a gift invoce do not invite those folks. Basically think who attended your bridal shower should be agood guide

stina93446

All the bridal showers I've ever attended were female only because men don't really like that sort of thing. However, the last one I attended was for my sister in law and her husband was there. Kind of weird. He wasn't that excited about everything, so his downer attitude brought down the whole party. I was invited but that's because I'm family. And my husband came....other than that, no men. And we came from out of state, which is not the norm..

[Deleted User]

1. I've been to both types. The couple's showers that I've been to work best if you make it like a barbeque type of event with beer where the dudes can hang out with out feeling like it's totally girlie. 2. I think that's fine to invite OOT guests. You never know who will want to come and you run the risk of hurt feelings if you don't include them.

jamm2019

I have heard of couple baby showers, but I really don't think most men want to be there.  When we had our baby shower with our daughter it was women only, and my husband was there.  I think it is really up to you if you want to invite your girl friends husbands, or boyfriends.  Or your father, and grand fathers.I think it is normal to send OOT guests invites even if you know that they wont beable to attend.  I did to a few of my family and friends not to get gifts from them, but to let them know that I would want them there if they could be.

danieliza1127

I've never seen guys at a baby shower.  I can't imagine they would even want to go.I'm trying to remember, I just threw a baby shower for my best friend early last year...I don't think she had me invite oot people.  I think if you had sisters or aunts that you were REALLY close to that live oot, then it would be understandable to send them one, but otherwise, I would do local people only.

jamm2019

Do you know what you are having? 

tidetravel

Thanks everyone!  DH will be there - most of the guests are from his side anyway, and he's excited about it.  I think we'll stick to the girls only.  Beach - she's not allowed to be a BM because she'll be 8 months pregnant and her maternity dress won't "match" the other dresses.  Marie - so far, it's a girl  

jamm2019

Congrates!  Girls Rock! I found out last month that we are having a boy.  Feel very blessed to have one of each...

tidetravel

Congrats Marie!  I've seen your ticker, but it never registered as a baby ticker (I don't know why, since it's got a stork and all :P)

goheels05

I've been to both types.  Showers on my husband's side of the family, whether for a baby or a wedding, are always co-ed.  They are just really family oriented and it is just 2nd nature to them to include everyone. Come to think of it, most baby showers I've been to have been co-ed, even outside Mr. Heels' family.Personally I wouldn't invite OOT guests.  I can't stand it when I get invited to OOT baby showers.  Now, by OOT, I mean beyond normal driving distance.  I don't mind driving 2 hours to a shower if it's for a really good friend.

goheels05

PS K's sister is the suck.

lyndausvi

1)  Mostly women only events.  But couples showers are becoming more popular. 2) It depends on your family dynamics.  I have an aunt who lives 2 hours away.  She always attends family events, so in her case yes I would send her an invite because she would be offended if not invited.  She does not feel that because she is 2 hours a way she should be excluded. So I guess it depends on your family.  If they were a plane ride away I would not invite them.  But a few hour drive and they have a history of making such events, then yes.  

calle28

1. I've only been to all female baby showers, but next month both of my SILs are having co-ed showers. So that should be interesting, I think it'll be fun. 2. If it were me, I would only invite guest from OOT who I was pretty sure would be able to make it. If not, then yeah, seems a little gift grabby.

noelle24

The only baby shower I've been to was co-ed.  A couple husbands and close guy friends of the mamma-to-be showed up.  I think it worked because it was a backyard BBQ event, with tasty food and some beer for those who wanted it.  Oh, and the games were minimal, and not very girly (everyone sent in baby pictures of themselves to the organizer, and then at the party, everyone had to guess who was who).It was basically just hanging out in the backyard and watching her open presents.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Yay, shower!! #1 - Yes, I'd say women only. But in our circle, the daddy makes an appearance for gift opening and to thank guests as well, since it's generally a joint family thing. #2 - I would, just so people aren't hurt by not getting an invitation. And when you're ready for my address, even though I'm OOT, just let me know

sarabellam

Most are women only still as guys hate showers. Okay, am I the only woman who despises showers of any sort? Unless it involves hot water and shampoo, I would rather go to the dentist than a shower.

lyndausvi

I'm not a shower fan.   Although I will be hosting one for a friend in January.

lyndausvi

oh and it might be co-ed.  I figure if I have to suffer through one, so does our male friends.

ac_in_dc

In my circles it seems like more & more baby showers are becoming co-ed (usually a bbq as pp mentioned). But do whatever you want. I don't think inviting OOT guests is gift grabby, but use your judgement.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Trust me, I'm all about going out of my way to not appear gift grabby. BUT I've also always been under the impression that you invite everyone you truly want to be there. So if a friend who you can't picture having a shower without lives 3 hours away, so be it. It's up to them if they have the time and resources to attend.