Wedding Etiquette Forum

NWR: Possible Move

I don't post very often, but I just had to vent because I'm feeling really nervous and wanted to write it out. FI was laid off his job less than a month ago (he's a photographer) and got a call back about a job in Fayetteville, NC yesterday at Pope AFB (he's not military). So we did some asking around about Fayetteville and have only gotten less than stellar reviews. I guess that's putting it nicely, one person said it's known as the armpit of NC. Awesome. So basically we don't know what to do if they offer him the job. We can stay in my grandparent's house up here for free until April while they're in Florida so we'd be ok with him being out of work for a little while longer. On the other hand, my mom lives in NC and would be THRILLED to have me close by after 5 years. But we know we wouldn't want to live in Fayetteville for long and would have to still keep looking for something somewhere else. Also, I have a pretty well paying job up here and would be starting with nothing down there. Sorry this is kind of long, but like I said, I'm just feeling unsettled and wanted to put this out there. Would you jump on the first job that came along no matter where it was or would you wait for something better?
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BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12

Re: NWR: Possible Move

  • Pope AFB does not get stellar revies from any of the AF people I know either (FI is an inactive AF officer). Honestly though I don't think it's that bad. You're not too far from Charlotte or Asheville, so if you need to get out of town for the weekend it's easy enough. And if you know it's only temporary that will get you through until you find something more suitable. Even though you have a free option for living situation right now, working is always better than not working in my opinion. Good luck!
  • Thats really tough....in this economy, we would think really hard and probably take the job.  But people do not realize sometimes how expensive it is to move. If he isn't in the military, what kind of job did he get on the AFB? 
  • The money would really have to be good or I would have to be out of work longer than a month for me to move to  Fayetteville.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • He would be working for a company contracted to do the photography for the base. It's the exact same job he had in Dover before a new company took over the contract and let the old photographers go. I should have added that although my job up here pays well it also sucks a fat one.
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    ttc chart
    BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
  • In this economy, I probably wouldn't quit my well-paying job and move for a job that your FI is getting in a city that you are already less-than-thrilled about the possibility of moving to. Also, consider any extenuating circumstances regarding staying in your grandparents house for free, what if they HAD to come back early (before April) and you guys would have to either bunk with them or you would have to move out earlier than expected.Plus since you said you wouldn't want to live in Fayetteville for long, I don't see the benefits of uprooting for something that seems so temporary.
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  • Sorry about the layoff. I'm from NC and yes, Fayetteville is not the best representation of our wonderful state, but at least it's not Jacksonville. If Fayetteville is the armpit, Jacksonville is the anus.
  • I'd wait it out, especially since you have a good paying job right now.  I share these sentiments about Fayette-nam, sorry to say. 
  • Vally brings up a good point.....if you move because he lost his job, and got a job offer in NC....you would have to leave your job, so you would go back to a 1 income household.  I am sure it is cheaper to live in NC vs. DE....but I would make sure you have a job lined up in NC before you even think about moving.
  • Not threadjacking, but cew- I love your new pic!!I don't think I would go to Fayetteville, though.  Just seems silly to leave your job and a place you like.  Because then you're really in a similar situation, aren't you?  Except you're the one out of work instead of him.
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  • Yeah, cew, but if you got a job in Jacksonville at least you could live on the beach, or in Wilmington, and commute. I lived in Raleigh-Durham for a while and in Wilmington for a couple of years. And I really enjoyed both and love NC, it's a gorgeous state. I honestly don't think I could handle living in Fayetteville though. Why don't you guys spend a weekend down there, and also tap into your extended networks to see if you can find anyone that lives/has lived there so that you can talk to them as well. If you're just going to take this job to keep looking down in NC, I would probably skip it if your situation isn't desparate.
  • Oh, and my sister married a marine when she was 21 and moved to a glorified trailer in Jacksonville. Scary stuff, it freaked me the fuuck out every time I went down to visit her. I felt really bad for a girl who posted on the bump yesterday, she just got pregnant and will have the baby in June, and her husband is deploying to Afghanistan for 10 months or something in may. She's from Minnesota but they're stationed in Jacksonville.
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