Dilemma. Help please?

hopebliss_romantic

You might remember me from before.  My mom and FFIL fell in love and are getting married.  *awkward, i know**Well, my FFIL/Future step-dad wants to walk me down the aisle.  It's way to weird for me.  I don't have a dad, he's been out of the picture since I was young.It's always been just me and my mom.  I want her to walk me down the aisle, but she is gung ho about FFIL walking me too.  Thoughts?

Night_Sprite

Walk yourself.  That is too creepy.

laurenclaire1386

Wow. The whole mom and FFIL thing is pretty unsettling.  Walk yourself, if your mom won't do it because she wants FFIL to.

hopebliss_romantic

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. 

georgia_bride09

Tell your mom that it would mean more to you for her to walk you down, and if she won't, then you'll just escort yourself.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Yeah, that's odd. Tell your mom it would mean a lot to you if it could just be you and her. If she doesn't want to do that, then have your FI, grandfather, or close friend walk you down. Or walk down by yourself.

salt78

Hmmm.

crfische

Do you even like this guy?! That's really weird. I'm having The Office scenes in my head with Michael and Pam. It's weird. JUST SAY NO.

Mrs.C-To-Be

It sounds like your mom is so in love and happy go-lucky with FFIL that she wants you to accept him as a "father" figure, and thinks that this is the perfect way to show the two families as one.  IMO, you should sit down with your mom and explain the importance of her walking you and how it is nothing against FFIL, just something you feel more comfortable with.  She probably doesn't even realize it is causing you distress (I am asuming you haven't mentioned it to her).  Hopefully she will understand and let go of the suggestion.

hopebliss_romantic

I liked him when I thought he was only going to be my FIL.  But, ever since we caught them I feel different.

MissLeahM

Juat ask your mom to do it. If you don't think she will then just walk yourself down.

[Deleted User]

Just do a double wedding. That way, they'll be too busy to worry about who walks you down the aisle.

jasmineh7777

Kindly explain that although FFIL is important to you and her, he is not the one that raised you. Although you support their relationship, you would like your mother to walk you down the aisle. "I didn't have dad around growing up, and I always pictured you walking me down the aisle." Explain that although you approve of/ are happy for them, you only have that special bond with your mom and it means a lot to you to have *just* her do it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

If you walk yourself, you can put it in a way where it's all about you and your feelings, rather than about trying to appease them. Say something like, "Mom, you've always taught me to be an independent woman and I'd like to walk myself." Or joke that you don't want to share the spotlight. That way you won't have to compromise, or beg for you mom to do it, or hurt FFIL's feelings because your mom is doing it.

hopebliss_romantic

When she mentioned it I told her that it was weird and that I wanted her to walk me.  She said that she was really hoping I'd want him to walk me.  This whole thing is giving me a headache.  I think we should just go to city hall the two of us and be done with it.

BecW2be

How did you catch them? That's very awkward. And your DH will also be your stepbrother! I think for my child's sake I couldn't marry this man. SO WEIRD.

lpstl

Mandy, is this your troll? Would you tell me if I was right? Would I get a beaver tail?

alixzafiris

I'm with Fischy, if you're at all awkward, thank them but politely decline and explain the situation.

hopebliss_romantic

Hmmm, msmery, that's a good idea.  Although I already told her that I wanted her to.  I might be able to find away to say that still though.

Kati0105

Mandy, is this your troll? Would you tell me if I was right? Would I get a beaver tail?You took the words out of my mouth.  The photo even looks like it could be someone related to Mandy - she has a sister, right?

alixzafiris

That doesn't look like Mandy's sister at all

kailieandpierre

It's possible that in asking to walk you down he is reaching out to you as a prospective father-in-law, in a manner he seems fit. I have not had a father figure in my life since a child either and also want my Mum to walk me down the aisle. The way I see it, when a father walks his daughter down the aisle he is honorably relinquishing his rights of guardianship and/or care and nurturing over to the new man in your life. Since your true father was absent for that and supposively our mothers assumed that role solo then it seems only right that your mother should be the one to walk you down the aisle and your future father in law needs to undestand, respect and appreciate this. I am sure there is a constructive way in which you could explain this to him. :^)

hopebliss_romantic

I wish I was a troll!  I speak the truth.

missy68

When is your mom due to marry FIL? That is WAY awkward.

wadingmoose

Mandy's troll, wha?And, my beaver doesn't just give tail to anyone...

alixzafiris

Honestly Hopebliss, just tell them how you feel straight up. It'll probably be uncomfortable, but at least it's out in the open and then everyone can deal with it.

britne28

What does your FI think?  IF your mom won't walk you down the aisle I'd vote for walking down yourself.

hopebliss_romantic

They are going to wait until we marry first.  They haven't even set a date or made a plan.  They were thinking about doing a destination wedding to Mexico.

alixzafiris

And, my beaver doesn't just give tail to anyone...Damn right it doesn't, I thought I'd bought exclusive access rights to Moose's beaver.

ivystar57

HAHA at that being Mandy's sister... Um no...

missy68

Interesting, because back in August, you said:They did a JOP wedding on July 11th. Just them and us. It was nice actually.