No invite???

Becky2277

OK-I have run into a real problem.  My fiance and I are about to send out our invitations and when we were finalizing out count we realized that we have 317 people all together on our guest count!  We sent out save the dates but now we realize that we can only have a max of 240 at our venue...that would mean 77 have to say no.  So can I not send invites to people that I sent save the dates to?  This sounds so mean to me but I am not sure what else to do...obviously I was a poor planner, I feel horrible but I don't know what else to do???Thanks for your help!

louisvillebride21

Ok, I'll be nice. No, you can't. In almost every single situation you could possibly come up with, STD=Invite. How would you feel if you were pretty much invited to a wedding and then uninvited?

lyndausvi

seriously?  Poor planning is an understatement.

katiewhompus

You may want to look at a different venue or seeing if there is a way to get additional space at your current venue.

Leah&Christian09

Once you've sent a STD, you must send an invite. If you have anyone on your list that you didn't send a STD to, cut them and see where you are. Otherwise, it looks like you'll be moving your venue.

janedoe1113a

Sounds like you need to find a new venue.

ExpatPumpkin

You have to invite everyone and make it work if more than 240 RSVP yes. That may mean finding a new venue. Bummer, but that's what happens when you don't plan properly.

Becky2277

I know....I just thought I would put it out there to see if there was any possible solution to this problem.

carrieoz_76

It is rude to send a STD to someone then not invite them to the wedding.  A cousin of mine did it to me when they changed venues (and states) at the last minute, and it still steams me. That being said, you have two options: A) Find a bigger venue.  Offend 77 ppl by not sending them invites.

wed0608

Sounds like you need to start looking for a larger venue. You can't cut people who received an STD.

lyndausvi

A new venue is in order or start killing off some of the guests so you can lower the list naturally.

sarah0725

The 77 people who you would potentially uninvite would be pretty pissed at you, so you can do this if you want to end 77 of your friendships.If not, sounds like you need a bigger venue.

janedoe1113a

Or you could invite all your guests to your rehearsal dinner and make sure 77 of them get food poisoning.  Viola!

ThePinkSuperhero

Yea, you have to find a bigger venue.  With your luck, you'll have 285 RSVP Yes, and come the day of the wedding, 239 will show up.  Heh.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

You are never going to get 77 people to say no.Does your venue have an outdoor area you can use? Do they own another building that can accommodate you?

CrissyH

Are you inviting children?   I know that of our 167 invites- 44 of them are children.   Maybe you could have an adult only ceremony/reception?   That would bring your total down significantly.

sarabellam

What else do you do? Get thee out looking for a bigger venue. I am really surprised that there are people out there so very clueless. How do you not keep track of the number of people you have invited (albeit through the STD) to your wedding when the venue has a limit?!?

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

LVB was nice So, I don't have to be right? 77 is a big jump, how did you miss so many people? Whoever suggested cutting children - that might be a good idea. But, you do need to invite all of them. Could you have a partially indoor/outdoor reception (not sure what time of year your wedding is in)? I'm not going to say 77 won't RSVP no. Hell, 60% of our guest list said no. But, you can't count on that. So, think creatively to come up with a Plan B.

[Deleted User]

You could do it like Jury Duty and make them call a phone number the night before to see if they were selected to attend the wedding.

ootmother2

Obviously your invitations are already completed and ready to be mailed.Can you apologize and drop the kids ?  Kids are less likely to get pissy about it.  I think. I hope.no clue what else you can do.Didn't you count when you sent the STD?

laurenclaire1386

This is another reason I hate STD's.  That, and the itching.

ootmother2

Is your venue near the ski area?  Any places in there available?I would think in January they would be full but look some of them up online

[Deleted User]

This is another reason I hate STD's. That, and the itching.And all of the co-pays.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

How do you not keep track of the number of people you have invited (albeit through the STD) to your wedding when the venue has a limit?!?Yeah, she clearly had to BUY 317 STD cards. How do you just not know? And how does it not occur to you to check the limits of the venue?

lyndausvi

I'm really intrigued on how this happend? During our 15 months engagement our numbers only flactuated by 20 maybe.  We had padded the numbers in the beginning because we knew relationships changed during 15 months.   We also did not send out STD to everyone, allowing us to take people off the list if we wanted to   It's good to think ahead.I know there is nothing you can do.  But maybe another knottie or lurker will read this and not make the same mistake.  

laurenclaire1386

Cew, I prefer to read posts with STD issues as sexually transmitted disease.  It's WAY more entertaining that way.

[Deleted User]

I always do that too. I have to stop myself from making syphillis (sp?) comments most of the time.

jillzlee

Not that you can EVER guess how many people will RSVP, but I had about 70 people out of 240 RSVP no. It does happen, but you cant count on it.Also, if you changed your venue wouldn't you have to get new invitations???

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Lynda, ours went way up, because we realized we could give everyone a +1, and because I was relatively new at my job when we first got engaged. By the time we sent out invites, I had become good friends with a lot of my co-workers and their spouses, so that added some too.I'd say we added around 100 between the time we started planning and the time we sent out invites. But, we knew we had the space to handle all those people. And, it didn't matter in the end since like 300 people RSVP'd no :P

lyndausvi

yes Vogt, but you made the choice to add these people.  They did not just sneak up on you, nor did it effect your venue max.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Absolutely true! Just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt that she's not a moron and formed new friendships during her engagement. :)Still, 77 is a big number.