Wedding Date Woes

sparklzk27

My fiance and I have been dating for 7 years and got engaged in July.  At first I really had no idea what date we should choose but I was a little limited because two of his cousins and his step-brother are getting married next year (1 in July and 2 in September).  Eventually I came up with April 24 which is exactly halfway between our birthdays. It's also the same date as my senior prom was (which we went to together).  It seemed doable to me but FI and his family thought it was too soon so I haven't been able to plan much since he isn't really on board with the date.  He says that if I can do it and be happy with the way it all turns out that any day is fine with him but he also has said that it's not going to happen for April.  We are in the process of buying a house so that has taken up quite a bit of time the past couple of months.  Now the date I picked is less than 6 months away and I am feeling completely hopeless.  I wouldn't care so much about the date except that if we don't do in April or May then we will have to wait until 2011 because of the other weddings in his family, which I really don't want to do.  I guess I am just coming to the realization that it's not going to happen and I am really fighting it.  I know that it shouldn't matter but it just bothers me that all the couples we know that have been together for less time will be married for longer than us. 

Brie2010

Why do you have to wait until 2011 if you don't do April or May again?  Weddings are one day.  You could easily do June, August, or October-December 2010.And you can plan a wedding in less than 6 months.  Just ask Fische.Also, relax.

MeaghanandMichael

It's also the same date as my senior prom was (which we went to together). Let me guess, you still have the pic on your nightstand from this night in the souvenir frame they gave you? I can't believe you even remember this date.But seriously, you are getting married to the man you love. And you are buying a house which is awesome. It could be in April and it could be in 2012. Just enjoy this time. How long you are married does not matter and is not a competition with other people so that last statement is just crazy.

stace1814

What is wrong with June, August, November, December?  Unless all of the family weddings are causing OOT guests to travel very far, it's not a big deal to do July or September either.

september's bride

Don't get so hung up on a "when" that has to be special to you for some pre-existing reason. Your wedding day will be special to you for the same kind of reason your prom date was special - because it marked an occasion in your relationship.Pick a date that works for you both, doesn't clash too horribly with other things that are planned, and that (most importantly) gives you enough time to balance your regular life and enough time to plan the day you want. Don't get yourself down over it!

sparklzk27

Let me guess, you still have the pic on your nightstand from this night in the souvenir frame they gave you? I can't believe you even remember this date.I originally didn't think of it being the same day, I was looking into some venues and came across the one that my prom was at. That's when I remembered what day it was.  I was just trying to find a date that would have some kind of meaning instead of picking any random saturday. We didn't want to have the wedding be too close to the others in his family just to kind of give them a break between weddings and so that we didn't step on anyone's toes.  I didn't want to do it in October, November etc because it will be cold.I know that it's not a competition, it's just been really frustrating seeing so many other people get engaged and married over the past couple years.  I do feel really lucky to have such a great relationship and most times I don't worry about the other stuff.  It was just kinda getting to me tonight. 

sparklzk27

"Don't get so hung up on a "when" that has to be special to you for some pre-existing reason. Your wedding day will be special to you for the same kind of reason your prom date was special - because it marked an occasion in your relationship."Thanks, I have been thinking of that too.  I am actually starting to like the idea of picking a date that has no other special meaning because our wedding will be more than enough to make it special.  I guess once I picked that date I wanted to come up with reasons for why it would be "perfect" to do it then. 

ThePinkSuperhero

I don't think you should push off your wedding because of other weddings.  If you wait until the "perfect" time to have your wedding for all important guests, it'll never happen.

Brie2010

I didn't want to do it in October, November etc because it will be cold.Well, then, you're not really being forced to have the wedding in 2011, you're making the choice to.  Live with your choices.Personally, it's not a big deal.  I attended 3 weddings this year, in May, July, and August, and it was not a big deal.  If you did June or August I don't think it would be a big deal.And also, planning a wedding in 5-6 months is completely fine.

fangsiting

The only reason you need more than 6 months to plan a wedding is if you can't find a venue.  If there is an available venue and caterer in April, then you're golden.  It really does not take that long to plan a wedding.  

sparklzk27

"Well, then, you're not really being forced to have the wedding in 2011, you're making the choice to. Live with your choices."I understand that it's a personal choice to not have it in the fall/winter and never said we were being forced to have it in 2011.  However, based on that choice and other feelings regarding the weddings in his family we are left with fewer options.  I am not saying that is anyone's fault or doing but my own based on those choices.  Just getting frustrated as I am sure you can all relate to.  Don't we all want our wedding days to be perfect? Even if we know realistically they won't be...

Brie2010

You should also contact venues and check before you get your heart set on a date anyway, especially so close to the date.We booked our venue in January 2009.  We said, "What do you have free in May 2010?"  They had one Saturday left and boom, our wedding date was picked for us.I really don't think it's rude or wrong to have your wedding in April.  Just do it, or wait and don't complain about it because you had a lot of perfectly viable options you chose not to take.

sparklzk27

"Just do it, or wait and don't complain about it because you had a lot of perfectly viable options you chose not to take."I am not complaining.  As I said just frustrated at the moment and wanted to vent...  I also said that I understand that some options being ruled out were a personal choice.  I guess no one else on here gets stressed or frustrated from time to time. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Are you in Buffalo? If so, where did you have your prom? Mine was at the Statler, downtown. The only reason I remember it was on May 5 was because it was my friend's birthday.October would be beautiful, but it might also be cold. But if you really want to get married, just pick an indoor location and do it.

sparklzk27

"Are you in Buffalo? If so, where did you have your prom? Mine was at the Statler, downtown"Not in Buffalo.  Rochester area.  I only remembered it was the same date bc I happened to look into the same venue where the prom was and the date popped into my head.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Well Rochester isn't as good but I still maintain it woul be pretty in October, even if a little chilly. ;-) I had a friend in Rochester get married in October 2 years ago.

sparklzk27

"Well Rochester isn't as good but I still maintain it woul be pretty in October, even if a little chilly. ;-) I had a friend in Rochester get married in October 2 years ago"October is pretty.  We'd both really like an outdoor ceremony although there's no guarantee that weather would permit that on any given day here, lol.  I'm sure we'll figure it out and it will all be fine, I'll just have to keep telling myself that when I get stressed about it.

sucrets4

Ditto Brie on all accounts.We had a few weekends in mind when we checked with venues and went with what they had open.  Imho, it's stupid to lock yourself into a date from the very beginning.

sparklzk27

"Imho, it's stupid to lock yourself into a date from the very beginning."We're not really locked into that date per se.  I'll admit that getting attached to a date was not the best thing to do since I am now disappointed that it may not be possible.  I can't help that I am a little sentimental about things, this is our wedding after all.  Anyways, like I said before, just got a little stressed about stuff tonight.  I really never expected so much criticism on here.

CurlyQ284

I know I'm late on this, but the other poster mentioned guests traveling but you didn't address it. Are the guests traveling for any of these weddings? Or are they all in the same area? I got engaged in July 08, set my date for October 3, 2009 (yay for being married!). My brother got engaged in August, set his date for November 14 and my best friend got engaged in September 08 and set her date for September 19. So I was a BM in two weddings and a bride in my own wedding within 8 weeks of each other. My wedding was in Memphis, the other two in the DC area. It worked out fine! My 2 cousins (they're siblings) could only go to one each so they split the weddings between them. No one was competing, we all helped each other with planning and it worked out great!

sparklzk27

"Are the guests traveling for any of these weddings? Or are they all in the same area?"Pretty much everyone will have to travel to Texas for his cousins wedding in July  but for the other weddings (including ours) almost everyone is within an hour or 2.  His family in texas (aunt, uncle and 3 cousins) are the only ones that would have to fly up here but they already said that they won't be coming if we do it this coming year, since they are already coming up for his other cousin in Sept. I'd like to say that being within a few weeks of one of the other weddings wouldn't upset anyone but I don't think that's the case.