Setting the dat

StephanieAnnA

I have a question about setting a wedding date. My fiance and I live in a small town with limited choices for wedding venues, photog., DJ's and such. We had a few dates to choose from that worked with all of that and for us and set the date. My 2 cousins live out of stat and I have asked them to be a part of our wedding day. They have other plans for that day and say they can't make it. They are very upset I did not check the date with them firt and will not change it for them. Am I being rude? Should I have checked with them first? I would love the hear what you think

StephanieAnnA

I mean date : )

arbolita

No - the only people you need to make sure are availabe the day of your wedding are you and your FI.  If they really want to be there, they will find a way to make it and reschedule other plans.

mandysmear

I think that it's too bad for thm.  Why should you hav to chang your wdding dat for thm?

ricksang

No, you are not being rude. You are allowed to pick any day you want.

Mrs.B6302007

ar w going to continu skipping the lttr  in this thrad?bcaus that would b fun although hard to do on purpos

brookelynpaisley

If it was important for them to be part of your day, then yes, you should have made sure they were available that day.

Mrs.B6302007

i s mandy bat m to itI agr with othrs.  you don't hav to plan your dat around xtndd family's availabilitis

MeaghanandMichael

Nope. I would take into consideration other weddings of family members just so you don't put your guests in an awkward position to chose. Other than that you need to select a date that works for you. fwiw- one of my bridesmaids got annoyed I was having my wedding the day BEFORE her birthday. I called her out on it and she admitted she was being BSC. You never know why people get crazy over wedding stuff.

kikibaby

What kind of plans do they have?  Is it something they absolutely can't get out of?But yeah, you shouldn't reschedule your wedding around two OOT cousins.

mandysmear

on mind b, on mind.  lov ya.

Mrs.B6302007

i haz much lov for you, mandy

StephanieAnnA

That is what i thought too but I wasn't sure if I was right or not. Thankyou for the input

gkb0910

We found out when our church was available and then made sure that date worked with our parents.  Then we let everyone know the date.  Depending on their other plans, I can't imagine much more important than my cousin's wedding, and I'd rearrange things to be there.  If they can't that's unfortunate.

fangsiting

I checked dates for the people most important to me.  I made sure my date was OK for my family and my best friends.  I don't think it was wrong what you did, but I think its a nice gesture to make sure your date is available for the people closest to you. 

Catwoman708

You first have to make sure a date works for you and FI, and then you check with the key people you absolutely want/need there. As you wanted your cousins in your WP, then you should have checked with them first. But it also doesn't mean you have to arrange your wedding date around their convenience. If you have to have it on that date, and they absolutely cannot be there, then they have to not only not be in the WP, but they won't be able to attend either. I can see why they are disappointed, or a little hurt they won't be able to be there or be in the wedding, but I don't see why they are angry.

StephanieAnnA

It is a graduation of a close friend.

goheels05

Nope. I would take into consideration other weddings of family members just so you don't put your guests in an awkward position to chose. Other than that you need to select a date that works for you.This.  We also planned around graduations of immediate family, but that's it.  You can't possibly have known your cousin's friend's graduation date.  Besides, wedding trumps graduation, IMO, especially that of a friend.  I never go to my friends' graduations, wtf.

gkb0910

Unfortunately, it seems like they'll have a choice to make.  I still contend I wouldn't miss my cousin's wedding.

kikibaby

Holy crap, they would miss their cousin's wedding for a friend's graduation?  I have also never attended a friend's graduation- seems like a family even to me; and I certainly wouldn't miss a family wedding for one.

J&K10910

I'd mis smy cousin's wedding for a friend's graduation.  But I'm not close to any of my cousins really.

tenofcups4me

If it's important that someone is there, then yeah, you need to check the date with them ahead of time. We checked dates with parents, siblings, and the people who we wanted in our bridal party to make sure everyone would be available. That said, a friend's graduation doesn't sound all that important to me -- I'm surprised they'd choose that over a wedding.

StephanieAnnA

It all sounds nice to ask everyone in your wedding if the date is ok with them but we have 14 people in our wedding party plus parents to consider. Then you add trying to work around vendors available dates it could all get real crazy. I feel like then it becomes about everyone else and not the two people it really is about.

tenofcups4me

Then you need to accept that some people won't be able to make it on the date you choose.