S/O: Dumb things friends do

kikibaby

Speaking of friends in crappy relationships made me think about my friend that always does dumb things to ruin her chances of having a serious relationship.She's very clingy; she drinks to excess, especially on the first date (like, doing many shots); she wants to introduce guys to her parents immediately; she almost always gives BJ's on the first date- she says she feels like it's required if they bought her dinner.I just see the same thing over and over- these guys treat her like dirt, because they don't respect her.  They just see her as a party girl who will sleep with them, but then suddenly wants to settle down and get married the next day (if that makes sense...). 

Brie2010

FI and I have a friend who is just kind of BSC and becomes obsessed with girls he dates.  He will write them songs, sing them, videotape them, and post them on facebook, tagging all their mutual friends...after dating them casually for a month.He's a pretty lonely guy and girls don't pay a lot of attention to him, so when one does he totally goes crazy.  And then they (justifiably) run. 

danieliza1127

Oh yeah, I have a friend like that.  I love her to death and she will be a great catch for any good guy someday, but she just screws up over and over.  She tends to fall in love immediately.  If a guy likes her, no matter how bad of a choice he is, if he likes her than she automatically likes him too and just jumps into full-on relationship mode.  Even guys she knows are bad for her - like guys who JUST got separated from their wives and still live at home with her, or just moved out.  Or a guy who lives 1200 miles away and has made it really clear that he probably won't make a big effort to visit her.  She sleeps with guys way too fast, introduces them to her son way too fast.  It drives me crazy. 

kikibaby

It's sad, because you want so badly for them to be happy... but, to see her sabotage every relationship is heartbreaking.

[Deleted User]

I have a friend who is absolutely gorgeous.  She's sweet and likes good music, just about anything a guy would like in a girl.  She had a previous relationship that lasted almost 3 years and they suddently broke up.  After that she can't keep a guy for a month.  She's clingy and just kinda creepy I've heard.  It's a shame because she was such a sweetheart before.

Nebb

An old friend of mine who I dont really talk to anymore always ALWAYS slept with guys on the first date. We had a big falling out when I advised her to not do that before going on a first date with a guy - she then did and it lasted 2 weeks before he lost interest. I am not knocking sleeping with guys on the first date, i did with my husband, but generally speaking most guys will not respect you for that and you relegate yourself to Fbuddie.

jfgrad06

The same guy I mentioned in the other thread that complains about not having a GF sabotages himself. He has grossly high standards. He's an average guy that wants to date Carmen Electra. Good luck, right?And if there's actually a girl interested in him, and he doesn't think shes "good enough", he makes up weird excuses not to like her. I've heard everything from "her fingers are too short" to "she has a weird name." REALLY!?

kikibaby

jfgrad- I can't help but picture him as George Costanza from Seinfeld.

jfgrad06

jfgrad- I can't help but picture him as George Costanza from Seinfeld. Kiki, you MUST be a stalked and know exactly who I'm talking about.

TiDa2009

The friend I mentioned in Ring_pop's thread looks to far ahead.  She's always wondering about marriage and kids when she first meets a guy rather than just have fun with him and see if they are compatible.  I don't think she ever mentions anything to the guy about it, but she always ends up ending things because he's from the wrong side of the city, or he doesn't like her brother, or he drives a car instead of a truck, or he doesn't make enough money, etc, etc.  If something about him or about his life doesn't fit in her entire-life plan, she gives up right from the get go.I wonder if in reality she's scared of relationships and pushes people away for the dumbest reasons because of it.

J&K10910

I have a guy friend who is just waaaaaay too indecisive and laid back.  He lets (makes) the girl make all the decisions, doesn't really care if they don't hang out much (even if he really likes her), will do absolutely anything for them, and let's things go on much too long after they're obviously over without actually breaking things off.  He drives me up the wall when he wonders why girls keep walking all over him.  Um, because you let them?

missy68

kik, nebb, and ring, I was your friend, once....   I didn't feel like I owed it to anyone; I felt like I had to, in order to keep/get their attention. Sex was my only "tool." I was not an attractive/comely girl. God, what I wouldn't do to change that period of time.  However, with any luck, your friend will learn - eventually - and grow from those mistakes, and be a better, different person from them.