3 gift questions--long

vsgal

So what do you do when you received a gift at the wedding with no card and you have no idea who gave itt?  We kept track of gifts and their givers for thank you notes, so we are aware of who did not send a gift. My first instinct is to not call people and ask because we do not want to put people on the spot and sound all gift-grabby.  We would like to send a thank you card.  The gift was bought locally about 1 week before the wedding, so we are assuming it is from someone local.Second, what do you do if you get a gift from someone you do not know?  We got a handmade table runner from a couple that we have never heard of.  We made the calls to our parents to see if it came from one of their friends.  They have no idea either.  The gift was at the wedding, so it came in with somebody, but the names are not familiar to anybody in our circles.  We have no idea who it is.Third, I was talking to my MOH after the wedding and telling her that I was going to start writing thank you cards to the people that came to wedding.  She said that if they did not bring a gift, they don't get a thank you card.  I disagreed saying they didn't have to bring anything except for themselves and a desire to drink all my liquor and share our day.  After all, they did spend most of their weekend with us.  Am I right in saying that they get a big thank you for coming to the wedding?Thanks

opalsky007

Thanks yous for coming are not necessary, but nice if you want to do them. Since you have a couple of anonymous gifts, it might not be a bad idea, though.

AlexiaANDRobert

The one where the gift came without a card happened to me. If by chance it's from Macy's, they have a list of who purchased what gift. Other than that, I've got nothin. Oh, and I do plan on sending TYs for people who came and didn't bring a gift.  Not everyone is financially able to give a gift and I'm okay with that.

lpstl

1. Spread the word to your parents and friends to see if they can find out who bought you that gift. 2. Did you have your reception at a venue that was hosting more than one wedding? If so call the venue and have them check with the other couple, maybe a gift was mistakenly put in the wrong reception.3. Thank you notes to guests for attending are not necessary, the reception is your thank you to the guests.

AlexiaANDRobert

3. Thank you notes to guests for attending are not necessary, the reception is your thank you to the guests.I agree with this, but the exceptions for me would be my brother's girlfriend.  We received a monetary gift from her parents and the card had "The Smith Family" signatures.The day of the wedding, my sisters and MOH were running late and Bro's GF is the one that helped me get into my dress, put on my shoes, etc. so I want to send her her own thank you card.A generic, thank you for coming, is not necessary.

Pirata13

any chance the gift from the unknown couple was a regift and someone forgot to take out the card? Or was it specifically addressed to the 2 of you?

SarahPLiz

Pirata may have a point! Were these mystery people not on your guest list? I'd be afraid to open the package. Maybe I'm paranoid. Also, babblingbrooke posted on the WP board that her husband did the exact thing you don't want to do to find out who the mystery presents were from. I think you should just spread the word or check your registries.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I'd google stalk the mystery people! Maybe you can figure out where they're from. But yeah, if you send a TY to everyone, you'll cover all your bases - they mystery gift-giver will still get a card.

deux.etoiles

I'm really surprised by all the replies you're getting saying that you don't need to send thank you notes for people who attended but didn't give you a gift. I think you absolutely should thank these people for taking the time (and possibly traveling) to celebrate such a special occasion with you. Your reception is not your thank you to them, your reception is just a party. Not sending a thank you for attending, in my option, would be quite rude.

vsgal

In answer to some of the replies:The gift with no card was bought at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I asked if they could find out the name in the computer and was told they can only tell me what store it was purchased in.  I am 99% sure it came from one of our local friends and not from someone traveling because it was bought 1 week before the wedding and the only OOTs that were in town were my BIL and family from China(their gift was a huge chunk of our honeymoon to China and Thailand) and our parents(I have spoken to both sets and neither claims it).  I do not want to offend anybody, but I feel that unless I come out and ask my local friends, I will not find out the gift giver.The table runner could not be a regift.  The envelope was addressed to us and we were the only reception in the building.  It is like someone crashed the wedding, but left a gift in return.  At least the crashers did not come empty handed!!Maybe the best course of action is to write everybody TY notes.  Then I could have all my bases covered.  I just hate not knowing the deal with these two gifts.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

deux.etoiles, the reception is saying, "hey, thanks for attending my wedding ceremony. Have some food and drinks on me." Some people chose not to send TYs to everyone right away because technically people have up to a year to send you a gift, if they chose, so if someone sends a gift a month later... you need to send another TY.

Kristin789

>The gift with no card was bought at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I asked if they could find out the name in the computer and was told they can only tell me what store it was purchased in.So find out what store it was purchased in, go there, and ask the manager which cashiers were working on that day.  Chances are that these cashiers are older women who would remember what goes on during their shift, etc.Table runner:  Think outside the box.  What's the name of the catering director at your reception venue?  What's the name of the banquet manager at your reception venue?  What's the full name of your DJ?  What's the name of the organist who played for your ceremony at the church?  Sometimes vendors gift a bride they've worked with for a long time on a very special wedding.>>we are aware of who did not send a gift.Compare the first names on the table runner card with the first names on your no-gift list.  A woman in my alumnae group who has always gone by Janet Smith is now using Janet Jones, so it could be that you invited Mr. and Mrs. John Smith - but since John and Janet have split up, Janet is now using her maiden name and she came to your wedding with the son she had before she married John Smith - and she signed the gift card:  Janet and Trent Jones.>>She said that if they did not bring a gift, they don't get a thank you card. She's right.You have already thanked everyone for coming by providing a wonderful dinner dance party.In addition, you thank those who got you a gift by sending them a TY in which you talk about the gift.