Wedding Funnies

AmoroAgain

I'm about to head out, but I wanted to find out other people's funny wedding stories.Mine:There are 2 wives of H's friends that are... shall we say... not liked.  They're annoying and fake friendly and are jacktards to everyone.  Anyway, they showed up 4 hours early for the wedding with their husbands.  I had told them the night before about the area, and where they could go shopping, get coffee, etc.  Instead, they decided to take over the room that the BM's and I were using to get ready/relax in.  Before the ceremony, I had to send 2 different people to kick them out of the room so I could get a few moments peace and quiet.  My MOH was pretty annoyed with them and their behavior, and after the ceremony, she came up to me while all the people were gathering on the stairs for a group photo and said, "You won't believe this.  Those two girls were so busy gossiping, that they MISSED the wedding!"  Love it.  They were making such a big deal about how happy they were for us, and how they were so happy to be there-- and then they were so wrapped up in their 4 hour conversation (I would slit my wrists to gossip with someone for four fucking hours) that they missed the ceremony completely and came upstairs after everyone had come out of the room.  All of the guests saw them. Bahaha.

laurenclaire1386

My mom told me that at her and my dad's wedding, my dad was a little tipsy.  When he repeated his vows, instead of saying "I take Mom to be my lawfully wedded wife," he said "I take Mom to be my awfully leaded wife."

julezlee

Holy crap.  That's too funny.We had every tourist and their cousin taking pictures of us on the wedding day and we were all talking about how weird it was.  I mean, what are these people going to do with photos of strangers on their wedding day?  At one point, we were getting a caricature done in Times Square and this group of women walked by taking our photo.  DH very politely asked, just out of curiosity, why are you taking our photo since you don't know us?  One of the women responded "Well it's not like this is real".  Uh, yeah, it is, we just got married.  "So, why are you out here taking pictures if you just got married?!"Yes, lady, we are the crazy ones here.  Out taking photos in the city we live in on our wedding day.  Your friend taking pictures of random strangers is totally normal though.

raynes

I have a picture of mine.[img]http://www.weebly.com/uploads/1/7/9/3/1793287/4880826.jpg?338[/img]That's my stepdad jumping off a table at the end of the conga.  He had no recollection of this the next day.

[Deleted User]

I got my shoe stuck in my dress as I was walking up the center staircase (we had the ceremony on top of the stairs), and literally couldn't take another step.  H walked down to meet me halfway and literally carried me up the rest of the way.  It was sweet, everyone started clapping.Our minister is kind of forgetful and didn't notice that everyone was still standing halfway through the ceremony.  He forgot to tell them they could sit down until the ceremony was half over, the guests were telling us later they didn't know what to do but it was funny.  Also, it snowed pretty bad the morning of our outdoor wedding so we moved it indoors.  The venue kept the outdoors set up like a ceremony would be so everyone was kind of freaking out that we were still having it outside with 6 inches of snow on the ground.

smokeybailey

Raynes,That is fabulous.  I hope no one judged him too harshly the next day.

lpstl

We did a spur of the moment afterparty at our hotel bar with most of our wedding party and a few friends. I can't even tell you how many bottles of champagne were consumed, but it was a lot. About half the people there were teetering on the edge of trashed. One of my BMs ended up without a ride back to where she was staying, and ended up crashing in the room of a couple we're all friends with.She's a die hard liberal, and cardinals fan.She said she woke up the next morning, in her BM dress, on the edge of the bed, fox news was on and our friends had on cubs jerseys. Apparently for a good 30 seconds she thought she was in the twilight zone.

julezlee

Raynes - How was his landing?

raynes

Judge?  This girl?[img]http://www.weebly.com/uploads/1/7/9/3/1793287/7889085.jpg?331[/img](sorry it's sideways, they're on a disc and I'm too lazy to copy)He also didn't remember jumping off the table a second time, or dropping trow to show off the tattoo on his upper thigh.*sigh* what a party...

ring_pop

Darnit raynes, I can't believe I didn't get to see that!H's 19 year old cousin apparently thought that some of my family members were cute. After they all had some drinks, BIL and another cousin apparently egged him on to hit on my 25 year old cousin. But at least they had enough sense to stop him from chatting up my brother's girlfriend. (My cousin brushed him off, of course.)

raynes

I believe his landing was fine.  You'd have no idea from that picture that his bone spurs in his shoulder are digging into a nerve...ringy, it's ok.  I was just happy you came!Oh, I have a really great pic of you and V I need to send you....

ring_pop

Our GM sent us this email the next morning (directly C&P'ed except where I edited their names... which he misspelled):So, I'm totally not sober while writing this, S is in the shower, but the fact that i'm on the computer means that I'm not too drunbk to spell......I'm totally sober...NOT..... Those shots ot whiskey did me in, good thing I have a designated driver in S. Vic nad Adriane....congrats.....in good chinese tradition,,S and I wish you nothing but good fortune, health and happiness......this might be the alcohol speeaching...you guys totally make use  proud *sniffes*................. By the way...I can't feel my face or theeth!.......2 morrrows not going to be a productive day.  Hopefullyh you gyus don't have to sing at the neumannn mass tomorrow morning. Congrats to your parents...and let the baby making begin!.....our kids totally have to play together!....no pressure. Have an awesomne time in Alasko and we'll see yhou when you get back! D  & S (who is sober....) I apologize for the slurrrrrrrrrrred email!   WE LOVE YOU GUYS!

TiDa2009

That's hilarious Ring_pop!  Definitely a keeper.

[Deleted User]

Omg, ring!  That's hilarious!  I wouldn't let him live that down.

saschaduran

That's awesome Amoro and the jumping step dad pic too. I had a few funny/disaster moments. 1. My SIL slapped my old best friend in the face. It was the first day they had met. My SIL is a big girl, and kind of ghetto fabulous and gets angry very easily. My friend is a 95 lb blond girl from Beverly Hills who has recently turned into a real snobby sarcastic brat with delusions of fame and fortune. So the fight kind of made me crack up. It would be those two. 2. My drunkest party friend ended up driving to KFC in the middle of the night and got a DUI. But there happened to be a shootout that occured at the same time down the street (in Palm Springs, of all places) so the cops just took her to jail for disorderly conduct instead and she spent the night in jail in a Christian Lacroix dress and showed up to brunch laughing and telling everyone. 3. His uncle did 24 shots of Patron and peed his pants. Yep....my wedding was kind of like a night out in Vegas. Klassy.

ac_in_dc

DH's cousin and one of my guy friends got it on in a janitor's closet in the hotel during the afterparty, b/c my friend was local and had no room and DH's cousin's daughters were asleep in hers. All my friends still ask DH how his MILF cousin is doing. Whoops.

katiewhompus

We didn't have a lot of wedding funnies but some definite giggle points. When planning my bachelorette apparently dh's cousin told his sister (my moh) "we have to have penis paraphanalia at the party, she's committing to one penis forever, we must surround her with plastic ones before she does that". Just as the procession started my flower girl yells out "stop parade stop parade, I want to walk with Miss Megan!"When my aunt and uncle were married my grandpa responded "His mother and father and I do" when asked who gave away the bride. He was so nervous he threw in the extra (non existant) party member.

NYE * Bride

FI's dad worked for professional baseball and was out of state until the day before the wedding.  He had his bachelor party the night before.When walking down the aisle, FI's mom thought he was winking at her, but was in fact, still a little drunk and had lost a contact.

blenderdance

1. My drunken BMs made us a video postcard at a booth that the venue had set up.  One of my BMs told my H, "We are the friends you never wanted, but now you are stuck with" and they had made up special hand symbols (which I think was supposed to be a group heart?).  They were also wearing their sashes on their heads ninja-style by this point in the evening. 2.  My brother, also drunk, made a toast where he said "a good marriage takes failing in love many times with the same person"...was supposed to be "falling in love".  He also couldn't find his tux jacket or tie the next morning...and doesn't remember the toast at all. 3. The best man (BIL) wrote his speech on the back of a local restaurant menu...in crayon.4. There was a zipline that ran over our outdoor venue, so we had people zipping overhead during the receiving line...it was very cool actually.5. My MIL who NEVER drinks (seriously, I had never seen her drink even a sip of anything in 5 1/2 years previous) had multiple screwdrivers and then took tequila shots.  She was dancing and kissing strangers.

blenderdance

Oh, and our officiant called me "Kristen" through the whole ceremony...which is not my name.  She also gave us a nice card with an unofficial marriage certificate--with "Kristen" on it.  She was corrected multiple times and had it written down for her.  She just crossed out my name and wrote what she wanted it to be.  DH and I laughed through the whole ceremony.

Sooles

our best man's speech included the words "youre the brother i never had" followed by another GM yelling "you have a brother!". the brother was another GM. their mom is just sitting there in the audience shaking her head...my brother had to leave to check on his kids before dinner, and walked back in partway through dinner with a huge can of beer. it wasnt very discreet seeing as it was huge and he sat there drinkign it at the head table. the caterer gave him the dirtiest look but didnt say anything.i guess these are only funny if you know these guys...