Wedding Etiquette Forum

Still invite to wedding if having another reception afterwards?

The situation is that we are having the wedding in my hometown, which is about a 9 hour drive away from where my fiance is from.  We predict that a lot of his family's guests will be unable to (or choose not to) come.  His family has decided to have a reception for us upon our return from the honeymoon for their guests, so now I need to know if we still need to invite them to the wedding.  I was always told that you should always invite them to the wedding if they were going to be invited to a shower or anything afterwards.  However, recently a friend of mine got married out of state and we were not invited to the wedding, but only the after wedding reception.  Is this a new trend?  It would help in knowing how many people to plan for (and cut down on invitation costs), but I'm not sure what to do.  HELP!

Re: Still invite to wedding if having another reception afterwards?

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    If MOG+FOG host a wedding reception for you in their hometown, and his hometown is anything like where I live, those people just won't come because it will clearly look like a gift grab. Like these people weren't good enough to witness the ceremony, but they ARE good enough to buy a great gift and drop it off at this upcoming Gift Drop Off Location conveniently located in MOG+FOG's hometown. If you DO invite FI's family and friends to your wedding - whether they come or not, and then later MOG+FOG host an open house or cookout or whatever, and you and your new husband happen to attend, then everyone will come. The party just can't be billed as a second wedding reception / gift collection event.
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    For once, I agree with Kristen Numbers.  I am kind of tipsy though.
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    You have to invite them all to the wedding.What your friend did is rude.The only time this is remotely acceptable is when it's a for real destination wedding where everyone including you and your FI are traveling.
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    Maybe they'll surprise you and most will show up at the wedding, making the second reception unnecessary. At least then you'll know if there's a big enough group to warrant doing another party.
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