Dealing with people that invite themselves??

batsymannequin

Short rant:: I'm having a serious issue with people inviting themselves to my wedding. When FI and I first got engaged, some of his distant cousins came out of the woodwork just to strike up a conversation and end it with "You getting married? OH, make sure to send me an invite!!" I had posted a general thank-you to people who attended my engagement party on Facebook, and a cousin that I had never met said "Sorry I missed it cousin, let me know when your wedding is!" I just wanted to scream. B!&$# you weren't even invited!! Even more recently, I spoke to FI's darling grandmother, and she said "I have people asking about when you are getting married honey, they want to come..." and now I have a slew of old high school friends on Facebook asking me about invites and one came right out and said "Hey make sure you send me an invite to you and (FI)'s wedding." I haven't spoken to these people in years!!! How do I deal? I am going nuts. We can't afford to invite all these creeps we hardly know. I'm sure many of you have dealt with these kinds of people before!

[Deleted User]

That sucks. It's a ton of pressure when people start doing that. Just let them know that you have limited space. You might also want to stop talking about the wedding / pre-wedding parties on FB. Doing that just opens the door for people to comment.

FutureMrsDudley55

I had an old high school friend do this to me recently. I'm not inviting him. Hell, when I see him, I don't mention the wedding at all, but he always seems to. If it comes down to just flat out telling people that invite themselves that I can't then so be it. If they are people you barely know anymore and/or haven't spoken to in years, don't worry about it. It's not like your hurting your best friend here.

crfische

You just invite the people on your list.Seriously, most people think they are doing YOU a favor by wanting to attend your wedding and probably don't take into account what it means for you monetarily. They will discover this when they plan their own wedding.So, you just say, yeah, you know due to budget constraints and space, we wish we could invite everyone, but we just can't. Thank you so much for thinking of us though! It means a lot!

sarah0725

"I'm so sorry, but we're having a small wedding."In this case, small wedding = wedding that is too small to invite the rude person who is asking you for an invitation. Everybody uses this line, and it is a fine thing to do. Also, I would agree with being less open about the wedding on FB and other public places. The less you talk about it, the fewer weird self-invites you will get.

casblanca2010

Facebook is the devil when it comes to friends/extended family feeling connected to you. Ugh. Invite who you want and tell everyone else space is limited sorry. In this area alot of ppl have open wedding dances. Is it an option for you to invite people solely to that?

charlsie26

So, you just say, yeah, you know due to budget constraints and space, we wish we could invite everyone, but we just can't. Thank you so much for thinking of us though! It means a lot! This....helped me a ton! Stick to your guns! Be strong.  Don't talk about the wedding to people who aren't invited.

Vegas_2010_Bride

I kind of have the same problem with co-workers. What the FH and I decided was that we would offer either a live videostreaming of the event or post it up later on youtube or something of that manner. This way people we wanted to invite or the people that invited themselves but we couldn't pay for would be able to at least watch. We'll still be sending some of them an announcement with the url but this way we won't feel as bad for excluding them and they can watch and feel like you've made an effort to include them instead of just nicely telling them t.s.As an added bonus since our wedding is a destination wedding for pretty much everyone invited, we can make it look more inviting for them to stay at home and watch the video instead of coming over, which drives down the total cost for us. I know that sounds a bit selfish but just looking at the cost of food for everyone at some of these places makes me want to vomit.

NuggetBrain

Send them all invitations. To a different location, on a different day, at a different time.