I was asked to be a godmother, but I'm atheist

YP09

My BIL& SIL asked DH and I to be godparents to our niece. DH is a non-practicing Catholic and I am atheist/agnostic. I'm flattered and of course I'll do it but I feel sort of weird about it. I googled "being a godmother" and what I got out of my research is that my job is to make sure she is taught the word of God. Found this on Yahoo: "A godparent promises at a child's baptism to repent of sins, to renounce evil and to turn to Christ; and to live life believing in God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This life should then be lived close enough to the child that the child can see what being a Christian means and use you as an example when they are of an age to decide for themselves how they want to live their own lives. If you live far away then your contact with the child should be sufficiently regular and godly that they know you take being a 'god'-parent seriously" BIL&SIL are not practicing Catholics either and, to me, this whole christening business is more out of tradition than anything else, so I don't think they really expect me to 'teach her the word of God'. Plus I'm preeetty sure they know I'm not religious. I even told them, if I have to do confirmation and all that stuff I won't do it. But other than that, I'm all for buying her presents and taking care of her if BIL&SIL died (they did mention that). Doesn't matter if they were joking, if it ever came to that I would take her in in a second. Comments?

lauralaur

If it wasn't for the "promising at the child's baptism" I'd be all for it. If you're atheist, making that kind of a commitment/statement/promise to a family and a priest in a church doesn't sit right with me, or you either obviously.However, I'm not Catholic, and am therefore entirely unfamiliar with the concept of godparents.

nda_roxybabe

Anymore when I hear of people being appointed godparents its more of just a title thing. Like so the person feels they have a special part in the childs life such as an aunt or uncle or something (although you're already her aunt...)

ootmother2

If your BIL & SIL are not practicing Catholics, I don't really get the christening but as likely you said, tradition most likely."taking care of her if BIL & SIL died, they did mention that" is not decided by who is godparent.  Custoday issues are totally apart from religious issues.As a Catholic, I would prefer at least one Catholic godparent and most priests are reasonable about this.M had one Jewish, one Protestant and two Catholic.  Yes, I am an AW.

betrothed123

My godparents weren't religious.  They didn't in any way teach me the word of god.  If you're uncomfortable with it, don't do it, but I don't think it's anything to be concerned about.

sucrets4

My friend asked me recently if we had thought about God parents for our fetus.  I told her no since we're not religious at all.But I do agree that you can be a God parent without the religious part of it.  If I were you, I wouldn't feel comfortable going through a whole big ceremony at the church, though.  Do they expect that of you?Then again, I might just suck it up and go through the motions.  It's not like you'd be lying to the parents, just to a church you are not a practitioner of.

SarahPLiz

I come from a very Catholic culture, but we were not Catholic. I still have godparents. To us, it is more of a tradition. Godparents are usually close friends of the parents who take a special role in the child's life. I have a godchild, whose parents were raised Catholic and Baptist, but practice neither now. We were raised Presybterian, but my godparents (also aunt and uncle) are Catholic. I have never seen it as a really religious role, as much as a role-model role. Once, my godmother explained it to me as since she couldn't have her own kids, God let her borrow us sometimes so that's why we were called godchildren. I know it sounds strange, but I have a more special relationship with them than I do with my other aunts and uncles. Cliffs Notes: Sometimes it is just a tradition, and Godparent = special relationship with child, not necessarily anything to do with religion.

ricksang

If they know you they should know your religion, right? I think they asked you as an honor and not for religious reasons.

YP09

The whole church ceremony things is what makes me somewhat uncomfortable. I hope they realize and are okay with the fact that I'll just be going through the motions. So I guess that's something I need to talk to them about. If they're cool with it, I'm cool with it. I just don't want to offend anyone. The kicker (to me) is that DH is the Catholic, but I know more about his religion than he does. This is why I'm not a religious person because it seems so hypocritical to me. Thanks ladies!

YP09

SarahPLiz, your reply makes a lot of sense to me. I am honored to be asked to be a godparent to be a more of a role-model more than anything. Nicely worded!

tidetravel

I would tell them that you are flattered, but ask them what their expectations are for you as a god-parent - if it's more of a title/honor/special relationship thing, or more of a religious thing.  Then you can decide for yourselves if you feel it's appropriate.

ootmother2

M's Protestant godmother checked out all the events that she should honor as M's godmother.  She got a little gold cross for her first communion for example, a small gold heart with Virgin Mary on the back for her confirmation..  She always remembered her birthday, Christmas and any other special day.She gave her the Martha Stewart Wedding planner for her engagement party.  She bought and wrapped her wedding give 5 months in advance because she was dying of breast cancer and knew she wouldn't be alive at attend the wedding.  M  does "Spin for the Cure" for her every year now.

katiewhompus

Talk to them and see what they are planning on doing for a ceremony or how religious it will be. Dh is his nieces godfather and I was very honored that his family asked me to come to her baptism. As a person who tends to sway towards pagan though however I was also terrified of being in a Catholic church. Prior to this I hadn't even know his family was Catholic! Long story short, Dh had to say that he was going to protect Z from Satan and teach her how to be a good person who contributes to their community and follows the teachings of the church.When we have kids we will probably do a more community oriented baptism (Army Wives episode anyone?) verses a religious one.Plus, if something (God forbid) happens to sil/bil, we would get custody of Z. When we have kids they will be her godparents.

katiewhompus

Fwiw - My godparents are my dad's sister and her husband. After age 10 I stopped receiving any birthday cards from them and the occasional Christmas card. But then they showed up to my wedding and it was all better

Ana_2985

Actually, only Catholics can officially be named godparents.  Non-Catholic Christians can serve as a witness to the baptism, but they're not officially godparents.  The Catholic church will not recognize atheists as godparents at all.  But I'm sure once your BIL talks to the church, they will explain all that.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In my family, godparent is just an honorific. My dad had 10 sets of aunts and uncles, so it was traditional to name one set as the godparents, to sort of single them out. I think my grandparents had about 5 godchildren, all were grandpa's neices and nephews.My dad's sister and her husband are my godparents, to honor that tradition, even though they were non-practicing Catholics and my parents had me baptized in a protestant church. Then my dad compromised and named some family friends as my brother's godparents. I felt kind of screwed over, since my brother got an extra birthday card!So yeah... I think it's all about whether you feel honored enough to accept, or are really uncomfortable with it.

aierardi

I come from a Catholic background though I no longer practice. I can't remember my godparents (aunt and uncle) doing anything in regards to my religious upbringing, or any upbringing for that matter. I agree with PP in that I think that now it's more of a title thing. I was asked to be a godmother by a friend, though now that we aren't friends anymore I doubt that's the case.I think in some cases it also has to do with who will take care of the child in case something happens to the parents. If the parents pass away and there is no one left to take care of the child, many times the godparents are left to raise the child (at least in a few cases I have heard of).

lvrboxer

I am catholic and Im not sure if its diffrent in other places but here to be a godparent you have to had recieved all your sacraments baptism- communion- confirmation. Im not sure if you did those things when you were young but my aunt had to take religious classes to become a godparent. I wish you luck that is a great honor to be asked hopefully you wont have any problems.