Dear FI...

salt78

Thanks for putting the pizza cutter in the dishwasher cutter side up. Holy effing ouch.Your loving wife-to-be, Salt.What kind of brilliance have yours come up with lately?

MeaghanandMichael

H actually suggested we brings nips into a cash bar wedding this weekend. I wanted to punch him.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Hmm. At least you know it's a cash bar in advance, Meaghan?We went to an event Saturday and ended up at the wrong hotel, thanks to FI. Thankfully the right hotel was across the street.

stina93446

Dear DH, It's not my responsibility to make sure your glasses are clean. YOU look through them everyday...oh and you wear them too...Ok, mmk!Stina

[Deleted User]

This weekend, drunk FI convinced himself that he needed some bonding time with Ben. He felt the only way to do that was to wake him up at 11:00 and have Ben share a pizza with him. Ummm. No. I just kept picturing that David Hasselhoff youtube video.

MeaghanandMichael

Mery, don't get me started. I love the couple dearly.

salt78

Hahahaha Cew...that would only be if they were sharing pizza in a bathtub.

J&K10910

Fi always sticks sharp things with the blades pointing up in the dish drainer.  He says putting them blade side down dulls the blade.  Which makes perfect sense, except I don't appreciate getting stabbed.  Also, if he sees I've put them in the dish drainer blade down, he will turn them over.  Now...if you're going to go to the trouble of taking them OUT, why don't you just put them away?!

lyndausvi

At least he does dishes.  My DH seems to be allergic to that job  :-pHis brilliance lately.  Its a fimilar one.  Not taking his BP/Cholesterol pills because when he went to the doctors the other day his BP was good.  His doctor did not tell him to stop... he just figured since it was good he could stop. Clearly the BP being good that ONE day could not have been because the pills are working.

sucrets4

Dear DH-When I asked you to wash the towels at the bottom of the laundry basket, I didn't mean the clean ones hanging up in the bathroom.Kisses-moiHe realized it after he did it, and sheepishly admitted it to me when I got home late from conferences on Thursday.I even gave him specific directions this time!  Listening fail.Salt - sorry you got a boo-boo.  I can give it a kiss and put a bandaid on it and hopefully it'll feel better soon.

salt78

[i]Also, if he sees I've put them in the dish drainer blade down, he will turn them over. Now...if you're going to go to the trouble of taking them OUT, why don't you just put them away?![/i]So...he just flips dry knives over? Hrm...I put a very firm points down rule in this house. I was getting skewered constantly. I guess maybe he didn't think with the pizza cutter, which is actually much sharper than I anticipated.

salt78

Sucrets - *sniff* Can it be a Hello Kitty bandaid?

lyndausvi

Fi always sticks sharp things with the blades pointing up in the dish drainer. He says putting them blade side down dulls the blade. Which makes perfect sense, except I don't appreciate getting stabbed. That is one thing I will never have to worry about.  DH takes care of his knives.  They are his babies.  We bought our drying rack soley because it had a knife block on it to protect the knives.

sucrets4

Surely!  Or what about Disney Princesses?

salt78

YES!!! I WANT ARIEL!!!!!

AnnieN7

Just because an article of clothing is white does not mean put it in the wash on the whites setting (hot), then in the dryer.....esp is if it s dry clean only cashmere cardigan....thank for doing my laundry when i beg you not to make a full load by washing some of my stuff...

J&K10910

So...he just flips dry knives over? Hrm...Yeah, that's exactly what he does.  I asked him once why he didn't just put them away, and he said, "I didn't know if they were dry or not!"  I gave him a "c'mon, I KNOW you're smarter than that" look, and he revised his answer to be "Well, I wanted to make sure you knew I wanted them to be blade side up."  Honey, just because YOU suck at listening and doing the things I ask you to do doesn't mean that I suck at it.  Really, I don't.  But thanks?

salt78

[i]"I didn't know if they were dry or not!"[/i]BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No offense, but that's dense as hell.

J&K10910

Salt, I know.  I think it was a "holy crap what do I say?!?!" answer that he didn't think about very long.  Because he is so much smarter than that.  Usually when he gives me stupid answers like that it's because he doesn't want to admit he was too lazy to do whatever.

sucrets4

annie - NO HE DIDN'T.  omg, I'd be sooooo pissed.salt - only if you wear a seashell bra.

lyndausvi

Oh good Stage, I thought I was the only one who has medication issues with their DH. I can totally tell when he has skipped the pill for a few days.  He always gets mad when I ask about it also.  

laurenclaire1386

Dear FI:When I ask you to put clothes in the dryer, I also mean TURN THE MOTHERFUUCKER ON.  Simply putting the clothes in the dryer will not dry them.  Sorry you didn't infer that from my very unclear request. 

lyndausvi

UHGGG.. I made a Pillsbury french loaf bread. I used half of it for my turkey sandwich.  I saved the other half for tomorrow to make a sandwich. DH comes home, askes for $20, changes, rips the remaining half of the bread into thirds and taken the middle piece and walks out the door to go to a poker game. Really? seriously?  Did it occure you I might have wanted that bread for tomorrow? Now I'm suck with 2 stubby pieces of bread.   

TheSaltyPeanut

H was extremely pissy yesterday which in turn made me fiesty.  This was even more upsetting because I spent the better part of the day going through thousands (literally) of wedding pictures and putting them on FB so that his mom and family could look at them.Finally I'm like, "SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE H IS YOUR ISSUE?"Jon responds with, "The Packers LOST Bobbi!  Don't you GET IT?  They LOST.  Just leave me along."After glaring at him for 5 seconds, he scurried upstairs.

TheSaltyPeanut

*alone

salt78

I was so hoping SaltyP would come in here. I love her H stories.