Christmas and gender stereotypes

J&K10910

I agree completely, Gwen. 

MeaghanandMichael

Good point Gwen.I also think that if we were to take this conversation to the next level of stereotyping (race, sexuality etc) people might see how stereotyping is not an unfortunate reality but a serious problem that is definitely NOT "usually true."

RachNRich

Gwen--You're smart. I like you.

Night_Sprite

I read an article for an anthropology class as an undergraduate about some tribal groups where western gender roles were essentially reversed.  Men were considered manly for keeping the home and stereotypically women activities.  I think stereotypes are without a doubt society reinforced, even if it is subconscious. 

crfische

I kind of love Gwenduhlyn.

MeaghanandMichael

Where is Mandy? I vote for a Gwen question thread

Night_Sprite

I also think there can be neutral dress up like animals.  I know some kids who have a duck costume and a frog costume.

crfische

Gwen came out in the lurker thread from Saturday. I have high hopes for you, young lady.

Gwenosaurus

Rach, I like you too.  I don't mean to be stalkerish, but when I was just a lurker I think I remember you mentioning living either in or near Toledo, which is my hometown.

salt78

I think kids should be able to play with whatever they want. Our 4 year old nephew has a toy vacuum and a kitchen set, but also the "typical boy" toys like trucks and trains.

RachNRich

Well, as long as we are fessing up here--I stalked your bio. And you mentioned the local metroparks. I had an itching feeling (that's what she said) that you were from the area.

lyndausvi

Late to the gamegood point Gwen. To answer the OP... I think in the first few years, toys are pretty gender neutral.  Most kids get a ball, something that lights up, blocks,  something that moves around, stuffed animal,etc.around 2 we move into the gender sterotypes.  (dolls for girls, trucks for boys)But I find (at least the parents I know), that does not last too long and parents start giving gifts that fit the kids personalities, whatever that might be.  

stina93446

I think you should buy the kid whatever they want. If the girl wants GI Joe, get her one of those. Don't force her to like barbie.A great example is my little sister. On her 4th Xmas, she wanted this Fisher Price BBQ. Santa got it for her and she was so stoked. I always thought it was a boy toy, but she loved that thing like no other. She couldn't stand barbies and dolls.

[Deleted User]

Ben is just dying for an easy bake oven. I really think I'm going to get him one for Christmas. Mainly because I want to play with it.

Gwenosaurus

Yep.  My reception is going to be at Wildwood, which is the most awesome of all Metroparks.  Unfortunately I am stuck in Cleveland for school, so I don't get to go there to walk my dor or run like I used to.

RachNRich

I'll go there for you, Gwen. And then tell you all about it. And you can tell me all about Cleveland--cuz that's my home. It's like we've traded places.

crfische

Cew, all I wanted when i was 5 was a make and bake oven. It's the ONLY present I ever remember asking for that I didn't get from santa. I gave my mom and dad crap for it forever...in a light hearted, joking way, but still. Guess what I got as my Santa present when I was 22? Yup. A make and bake fuucking oven.

squirrly

I heard something interesting once. . . when little boys play, they play games that have winners and losers.  So, they learn to be good winners and good losers, and that once the game is over, you can just be friends again - no hard feelings.Little girls play things that don't have winners and losers, like house and kitchen and Barbie.  They don't learn how to be gracious about winning and losing until they're much older - and then they DO carry a grudge.Apparently that spills over into the workplace a lot and causes women to be more likely to sabotage their female colleagues to prevent them from getting promotions and such.

[Deleted User]

Oh fishy. You poor deprived little girl. Did you use it when you got it?

lyndausvi

squirrly -  I can totally see that.  I think that is why I'm friends with more men than woman.

salt78

No wonder I'm such a sore loser.

lalap69

This is a really great thread.What I think is interesting, however, is that for all the talk of buying what individual kids want and just looking at what fits their personalities, we sure do a lot to try and explain why girls are one way and boys are another.  Even though most of us say that we liked both traditionally feminine and traditionally masculine when we were kids ourselves.

tmm140

I think you should buy your child anything they are interested in. When I was little I had He Man action figures. I loved them the most.

aggiebug

My niece gets dolls because she likes to copy what her mom does with her little brother.   She gets princess nightgowns because she sees them in the stores and wants them.  She like her Little Mermaid movies over the Clone Wars.  She steals her brothers space ships to drive her dolls around- but hers brother have wars with them.  My nephew HATES the color pink, has since before he was in school and anyone could tell him it was for girls. Parents promote sexism ( "women are weak" "men are strong") with their actions more than the toys the kids play with.  I had purses and dolls when I was little, but I can change a tire because my dad never let me think I couldn't.  My brother loved he men but still thinks that changing a diaper and cooking dinner is part of his responsibility in his family.  I completely agree with sarah07....  (there are to many sarahs!)  my niece and nephews will never get a video game from their aunt, and my kids will get very few. Toys that use imagination= a winner in my book for all kids.And there are some GREAT gender neutral toys out there, you just have to veer away from Toys R' US, Target and Walmarts as they divide their aisles that way. Look for a local toy store they tend to have the more creative toys good for everyone.   Board games are great typically for both sexes.  (who didn't love chutes and ladders?), BOOKS, puzzles, bikes, legos, circuits, brio....

brookelynpaisley

If little girls want trucks, buy them trucks. If they want little kitchens and mini vacuums, get them that. I think girls tend to want to do what they see role models doing, and that oftentimes means they want to do what they see their mommies doing, such as cooking cleaning and taking care of babies. Boys see daddy working on cars and doing ficx-it jobs around the home. I certainly don't think buying a little girl an easy bake oven is promoting 50's woman-stays-at-home-man-makes-money values. Kids don't know anything about the expectations of men and women 60 years ago.

tenofcups4me

The marketing for kids' toys is just appalling....girls with ovens, boys with tools and trucks. Last year, Walmart had a particularly disgusting set of ads at back to school time -- a mom bought her daughter cool clothes because she wanted her daughter to "succeed" in school; the counterpart for the boy showed the mom buying him computer equipment for his success. I do think stereotypes often carry a kernal of truth -- or at least did once carry some small truth -- and then they become self-perpetuating. DH and I have all nieces and we buy them a real range of items for birthdays and Christmas -- most recently we bought Legos for the 7-year-old, but we've also bought her princessy type things. She loves both kinds of gifts. My 11-year-old niece at various times has loved dinosaurs and buildings blocks and basketball...and nailpolish and American Girl dolls. If DH had his way, he would only buy things that are educational and gender-neutral. I have nothing against gifts like that, but I also have nothing against "girly" type gifts if the child actually likes those types of things too.

brookelynpaisley

I like squirrly's comment. makes total and complete sense to me! I loved "boy" toys when I was little. I had Hot Wheels and dinosaurs. I didn't play with my dolls after about the age of 3. I also had a mother who was a teacher and didn't believe kids needed toys - that all we need are blocks, books, and our imagination. My sister and I grew up playing a lot of make believe, and we pretended we were everything from nurses to astronauts. So I think it depends on how parents allow their kids to explore different roles and assign a gender to them (or don't).

smokeybailey

I had dolls and makeup while my sister had GI Joe.  I wore dresses and she wore pants.  It was just the way it was.  People bought us what we liked.  Of course, since my aunts got us the EXACT same things every year, they would have to go gender neutral like roller skates or board games.  Some kids fall naturally into the stereotypes while some bust out.  You have to get what they want.  My boy cousin got a Barbie "Dallas" horse.  His dad had a fit when he saw the big pink Barbie box, but Chad loved it.  Also, I wanted an easy bake oven like nobody's business, but no one got it for me.  hmmmm....

BecW2be

I think we buy kids too many toys period. The quantity unnerves me more than the gender stereotypes they perpetuate. I bought both my girls trucks and boy stuff, along with girl stuff. Funny story, my older DD only wanted the african babies when she was tiny. Every single baby she had was dark skinned. She thought they were prettier. We got the strangest looks from people, but they made her happy, so I didn't care. I hate how MANY toys my kids have/had. With grandparents it's tough to regulate the amount they receive, but I tried to incorporate paper, balls, books and sticks in with the barbies, trucks and board games. Kids today never have to imagine or be creative because there's a toy or gadget that does it for them. It's kind of sad.

squirrly

Kids today never have to imagine or be creative because there's a toy or gadget that does it for them. It's kind of sad.This.  100%.  I loved my Lincoln Logs as a kid.  I could build a log house & play little house on the prairie in my living room.  I could build a fort.  Or my mom's favorite - I could turn the can over and turn it into a drum set.  She used to make me go down to the garden in our yard to do that.  I have no idea what my mom will do with grandkids.  She banned noisy or messy toys (finger paint, play-doh) when I was a kid.  Everything is noisy now!