Unsolicited Advice...

NicoleSahara

Oh Tide, I can only imagine! It seems like everyone becomes parenting experts when someone else is pregnant, even if they've never had a kid!

jfgrad06

I am also sick of people asking when we're having a baby. I'm glad you're happy for us, and excited about future babies, but I'm 21 and have been married since August. Calm down?Ew and the other day I stopped my husbands work to pick up a couple of things. A woman he works with congratulated me (for the 50th time) on our marriage and asked how it was going. She also asked me what I was going to cook him for dinner. When I said I wasn't sure, she told me I better be a good wife and cook him something good. Excuse me?

megk8oz

FI and I rarely fight. In fact, in the 5 years we've known each other, we've had maybe 2 really HUGE fights. When we started dating (Which we'd known each 3 years at that point), and we got along people were like "Oh, just wait a few months, you'll start fighting". When we STILL got along, then [the same] people said "Oh give it a few years, then you'll fight". 2 years later, it was "Oh, just wait until you move in together". Then we moved in together and got engaged, it was "Oh well, just wait until you've lived together for months-a year". Now that it's been a year and a 1/2 of livng together, we're getting "Oh, just wait until you're married, you'll see!". Call me crazy, but I've got a feeling that if we don't start killing each other after the wedding, it's going to be "Oh, just wait until you've been married 10 years".

NYE * Bride

Mrs. Vogt, oh my Lord - my jaw just hit the ground.  That sounds like something FI's grandma would say!When FI and I started dating, he went to college 3 hours away from where I lived.  His grandma has a gorgeous lake house, right in the middle of our drive.  We would spend weekends there.  His grandpa passed a few years back, and she liked the company.We shared a room, but (TMI) were not having sex.  However, once she realized we were "sleeping" together, she sat Aaron down and gave him a "sex is committment" talk while I was in the car.So embarrasing.

ring_pop

When MIL saw our wedding pics for the first time, she told us, "It will be nice for you to have these albums, so in 10 years if you have a big fight or something, you can pull out the pictures and remember the good times." I told her that that's not how we fight. She said, "Oh, but you never know what might happen."

baystateapple

Stage -- in regards to the cooking, my grandfather said the same thing!  Back when I was in college, he asked if I knew how to cook, and I said I only knew how to cook a few things.  His dead serious reply was, "You'd better learn before you get married, nobody wants a wife who can't cook."

vicmo5

Tide, I dread all of the stupid advice I'm going to receive when I get pregnant.  Maybe I won't tell anyone until it comes out so as to avoid all of the stupidity.

J&K10910

Ugh, I can't WAIT for the baby question.  I'm going to have to come up with a really good response to shut them up.Kiki, he's a peach.  Also, I hate when someone asks me what I've done that day and I say something along the lines of "I made beef stew and baked some cookies and cleaned the kitchen and bathroom," and the person says, "Oh, how domestic!  You'll make such a great wife!"  Yes, in the 50s, I surely would have.  But there's a little bit more that goes into it now.  And YOU try being home all day job searching and NOT do those things.  Really, try it.  I dare ya.

megk8oz

Also, when we started out planning, and it was clear both of us wanted a "pretty princess day", we didn't have a lot of money and that got very frustrating (We had to push the date back a few times, which was always dissapointing). It certainly didn't make me feel better when people would tell me "Why waste money on a big wedding? You're probably going to get divorced anyway"

skiingstark

My dad said out loud at our Rehearsal dinner..."He will not take back opened merchandise"I smack dad for that one.

goheels05

Then for Christmas that year, she got us each a wind chime that had a cow on top, and bottles of milk for the chimes. Good lord.DED!Tide, I would throat-punch her, just like I always want to throat punch people who list their pets on Craigslist when they have a kid.  It pisses me off so much.The only unsolicited advice I get is about how I'll get fat someday.  Everyone at work bitches about how fat they are.  I just sit there and smile and nod, and they say, "just you wait.  After you have kids . . . " or "when you hit 35 and your metabolism slows down . . . ".  Um, no.  I'm not going to blame my weight on age and childbearing.  Y'all eat out every single effing day.  I don't and probably never will.  It's going to be funny when I'm 35, have kids, come back from maternity leave, and I'm still not fat.

Nik1202

I heard that since we live together and have kids (not together, from previous relationships) we shouldn't even have a traditional wedding because we already done everything and have nothing to look foward to together, WTF

Nik1202

Oh and neither of us has been married before

BecW2be

I just got really excited at the thought of Heels having kids. Not because I think she'll get fat, but because I love friends with babies! I can cuddle and play and then pass them back. It's like grandkids I don't have to buy Christmas presents for!

J&K10910

Yeah Nik, you're pretty much wasting everyone's time.  And what are you going to get excited about after the wedding?  It really will be the BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE EVER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.Hope you enjoy it.  No pressure.

Anon I. Mouse

Neither of us have received any unsolicited advice. I am 30, FI is 35. People likely figure we have figured out life well enough to know nothing is every certain, and we are flexible enough to adjust.We have both also had previous common-law relationships and we both have done a lot of work on ourselves individually, together and with counselling. I think people know we are pretty gripped up both as individuals, and together.I also tend to note unsolicited advice tends to come from those with some messed up relationships and there tends to be a lot of projection that goes on so neither of us is interested in hearing it.

laboheme68

DH's dad told me he hoped we didn't get divorced, BECAUSE THAT'S A HUGE TREND, 2 days before we got married.My Grandma told me that our friend officiating our wedding was basically, making it not as real and legitimate. She also wouldn't call it our wedding (once she knew our friend was officiating), she called it "Your Party."I get told that I will want kids soon. I really can't stand being around babies or kids at all, and of course, now that  have a ring on my finger, this will all magically change.

MeaghanandMichael

Older people always tell us that with two incomes we should be banking one pay check and living off the other. Because that is what you did I am suuuuure. I know for a fact it isn't and the reason? oh, because it is way easier said than done.

Nik1202

I should just start planning my funeral I guess...

megk8oz

And my mom has been killing me with what I SHOULD be doing when FI's mom and sister come over. Whenever she finds out they're stopping by, she always says "Well, you need to put out a plate of cheese and crackers or veggie dip or something. And make sure you don't order pizza for dinner, you really should cook for them". And then I [uselessly] ask her why I need to do this. And she always responds "Well, they need to know you're taking care of him! He works really hard, you know". First off, I pay the electric bill (Among other utilities), with my salary, that I WORK 40+ hours a week to earn. I think keeping him warm when it's 20 degrees out constitutes "taking care of him". Second, like I already said, I WORK too. So please explain to me WHY him having a job means I need to put out a veggie platter and cook dinner ... for people who only come over to drink the booze they demand we keep in the house for them and say "Pizza would have been fine" if we DO make them a nice dinner.

LesPaul

Agree completely with the 'so how's married life' comment.  Really - do you want TMI details?  Because I don't believe you actually want to hear about how my married life is going.  We're fine - just like we were 3 months ago before we got married.  Not much has changed.

SnShne322

When we first found out we were pregnant, the first question out of several people's mouths were "What are you going to do with the cats?"Can any one explain to me why people think they need to get rid of pets when they have kids?  It just sounds so bizarre to me.  I'm not trying to be catty(ha!) about it, I'm honestly curious.  I had a friend who gave away 2 cats that she LOVED when she had a baby.  I just can't imagine giving my cat when I get pregnant or have kids.

tidetravel

just like I always want to throat punch people who list their pets on Craigslist when they have a kid. It pisses me off so much.Me too Heels.  I admit - there have been a couple of days where I have thought "This would be a whole lot easier if we didn't have 7 (9) cats..." but it's not like I ever thought about getting rid of them.

tdmd09

Before we got married, we got lots of random people telling us "don't do it!" including an old couple walking by our table when we did our menu tasting, and my scheduling lady at work.Now that we're married, it's "how's married life" and "so when are you guys having kids?" Or "you'll look so cute with a little belly" "you should get pregnant now so our kids will be close in age and can play together" "I know I'm far away but I'm going to be the best grandma ever" (says my mom)DH has baby fever more than I do, but we have some things we want to do to the house first so when we do have a kid or two we'll be in a good position to sell our house and move

[Deleted User]

not really unsolicited advice, but kind of similar to cew's post - but when i bought our tv, we looked at best buy.  none of the salespeople would help me.  they all kept going to ask older people if they needed help.  just because i'm younger and was wearing my comfy weekend errand clothes, doesn't mean i didn't have money to spend on a tv. it really kind of irritated me. then when i finally got a salesperson to pay me some mind and answer my question, he looked at me like i had 2 heads and started rattling off technical specs. why wouldn't i know wtf i'm talking about? cause i'm a chick? i took my business elsewhere.same thing when i went couch shopping a few weeks ago.  the salewoman kept making comments like "but that one is more expensive" and steering me towards cheaper ones.  it's like, what, cause i'm not in my 50s and dressed all fancy, i don't have money to spend on a nice couch?

pumpkinpumpkin

I get unsolicited advice all the time. Small town, everyone knows us, and everyone knows about Mark. When I go through the checkout at the grocery store, the elder clerks inform me that "_____ (food) is not cancer friendly, dear". I want to punch them while yelling, "I DON'T HAVE CANCER, Mark does." We're also getting a lot of JOP wedding advice. Some people can't figure out why we haven't already gotten married. Because. Feb 13th was our date and is still going to be our date. No significance, but just because he's sick doesn't mean we have to rush to the JOP today.

goheels05

Bec, you can borrow my kids any time you want!Tide, that's a lot of cats.    My parents got a cat a year before I was born.  It used to sneak into my room and get in my crib.  After a while, they stopped kicking her out of my room because they thought it was so darn cute.  I grew up with that cat--we had her until she died when I was 15.  I think it's great for kids to grow up with pets.  I learned very early (and yes, sometimes from being scratched) how to "read" animals and know when they didn't want to be bothered, and I learned how to be gentle and take care of them. 

BecW2be

Yay heels! Now snap to it and start spitting them out already. You've been married for over A YEAR! Why aren't you pregnant yet?

vicmo5

It never ceases to amaze me how rude people are.

goheels05

%$&$$$!!!!!111!!!!!!!!11!!!UNSOLICITED ADVICE!!!!!!!!!!