*Salt (and other Sorority girls)*

MeaghanandMichael

I love you to death darlin' but I have to be honest when I say I was shocked to see you were a sorority girl. Then I realized this is because in my neck of the woods sororities are for 'losers' who have to 'buy their friends.' At my college they weren't even allowed to have their own house.Can you please tell me more about real sorority life? The concept actually does sounds really fun. Albeit, Elle Woods is pretty much my hero sooooooo.....you see where this is going I think

georgia_bride09

Meg, I totally would have pegged you for a sorostitute, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. At my school, it was mostly pretty girls who like to party (except for the one "loser" sorority), so you can see why I'd think that. "Sorostitute" is just something we called them in groups at the bar. I was AOPi for a week because I rushed with my BFF at the time who wanted to be an ADPi more than life itself, but she didn't get asked to be in any, and I didn't want to be in one in the first place, so I de-pledged a week after Rush ended.

klovesd

It is a very common misconception to say that we "buy" our friends. I always hated this term. I became close to 3 of my best friends before we were even in a sorority together. Alot of the stereotypes of sororities focus on the negative that can result. Yes, there are the stuck up sorority girls, the drunks, the sluts, etc. But there are those same "types" of people in every clique. There is so much good that can come from being a part of a sorority- tons of community service, a scholastic support network (I felt my grades improved once I was in the sorority), networking for future careers, etc.

MeaghanandMichael

hahah georgia that is funny (and thanks for the compliment!) Confession: I may or may not have been referred to as a 'lacrosstitute' during my freshman year as I was in that group of party girls who liked to follow hot senior lacrosse players around and beg beers off them. I thankfully got over that phase in about a semester.

MeaghanandMichael

 There is so much good that can come from being a part of a sorority- tons of community service, a scholastic support network (I felt my grades improved once I was in the sorority), networking for future careers, etc. See, this is what I thought they were supposed to be like. The ones at my school were not at all. They were all about wearing matching clothes, only dating fraternity boys, having war with the other soririties and trying to lose weight. I think that sounds really great!

kikibaby

Sororities were really big at my school and I had lots of friends in them.  I thought they were stupid at the time, but as an adult, I look back and wish I had joined one.  I think the cameraderie is really awesome- I don't think it's about buying friends at all.

ac_in_dc

I had an awesome time in my sorority...I was actually president. Even though I graduated from college in 1994, I still hang out with my some of my sorority sisters on a regular basis here in DC. And if I move somewhere else in the country, I know I'll be able to hook up with whoever I know from AEPhi that lives out there. It was a great experience--I felt like the social scene at my college was so guy centered--most of the parties were run by fraternities. So it was cool to have a group of female friends that weren't determined by the guys you hung out with. Plus I studied engineering, so there weren't a lot of girls in my classes.  

klovesd

I think it also depends on the school. I go to a smaller private school in Iowa. There's only 5 sororities and we all get along pretty well. We participate in one another's philanthropies and throw Greek events together, for example.

ac_in_dc

Oh, and my sorority wasn't "cool" at all. I think we did a really good job supporting each other, though.Whenever the new crop of pledges would come through, I always felt like ti was our job to build up their self esteem--Duke can be pretty brutal academically and socially, so it was good to have a safe space where you felt totally accepted.

missy68

AC - I didn't know you went to Duke! I went to Davidson, down the road a ways. My maternal grandfather went to Duke Divinity School. 

ofeliaknits

I was in a sorority, but it was in CT, and it's a whole different world up here than in the south (where sororities are a BIG deal).  We didn't have houses at our school, we just had "chapter rooms" in the basements of the dorms where we would hold meetings and have rituals.  Our rituals are not scary (I'm now still a ritual advisor for my sorority), but they are often somber and ask that you reflect on your past or future time in the sisterhood and exactly what it means to you to be a part of it.  There is always SO MUCH to do, though.  We were a small group of about 40 girls (average for my small school), and we were required to do many many things.  We had to go to school basketball games, sorority meetings/rituals, all-greek-life events (including speakers, game days, contests, etc), community service events, etc.  I was always super busy.  Many of the other sororities on my campus considered us "losers" because we didn't all look like models and we didn't do serious drugs (speed, coke, etc), and we didn't haze.  So I feel that I had a very different experience from some other people.  We did party pretty hard, though, and none of us felt like losers.I can tell you some pretty awful hazing stories from the other sororities, though.  I feel like that's often what people really want to know when they ask what it was like to be in a sorority.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Social greek organizations were banned at my college (only professional ones were allowed), so sororities are really foreign to me, too. FI was in a frat, which I think is funny, because he's not my idea of a "frat type." But again, I think I just have stereotypes to go on.

ac_in_dc

Yeah, I actually went there for both my bachelor's and grad school. I have mixed feelings about it for a lot of reasons. Davidson always seemed like it would be a great place to go, though. A lot of individual attention and that sort of thing. I got a little bit lost in college. Did better in grad school when I had more focus and confidence.

SarahSmile23

i want to hear hazing stories!

Brie2010

I am also a sorority girl.  And my mom is a house mom at my old house, and we'll actually be getting ready for the wedding there, which I'm SO excited about because it's super old and gorgeous. I will say my school was probably different from the big state school atmosphere, but not by too much.  There were "cool" and "ok" and "bad" sororities.  I joined it mostly because it helped me make a huge university smaller, and I loved living in the house.  When else in my life am I going to live in a beautiful old house with a chef and maid?  Uh, never.  It was incredible.  There were some drunken fratty things that went on, obviously, but that happens in college regardless of whether you're Greek.I made friends there that I'll have for life, but I also disliked some of my sisters.  It wasn't perfect, but I treasure the experience.  I learned a lot of great leadership skills and got a lot of awesome opportunities through it.  I definitely don't regret it.

Brie2010

I can also honestly say I was never hazed at all.  It was really frowned upon.  When I was a pledge, I was basically showered with gifts for three months until I inititated.  It was great. I think more hazing goes on in fraternities, but at least at my school and in my chapter we were very anti-hazing.

ac_in_dc

We totally didn't haze. I think it's completely wrong. The closest we got was blindfolding our pledges and driving them out for ice cream

buttaflai

Plus I studied engineering, so there weren't a lot of girls in my classes.ac, I considered joining a sorority my freshman year because of that too. I had a roommate who was a sorority chick and just ended up going to parties with her so I later saw no point in joining.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Huh, I'm thinking about applying to Duke for grad school.

ofeliaknits

There's "hell week" at my alma mater, where the hazing gets super bad for a week and then you get initiated.  You would see girls look like sh!t all over campus, and only in pairs or groups.  They were not allowed to go to their rooms (keys confiscated), and could only be in class, the library, or a sister's room.  They could not walk anywhere alone.  They had to wear certain things.  One sorority needed to wear a particular sweatshirt and blue and yellow ribbons in their hair.  They could not shower this entire week or change their clothes.  You can imagine how they looked/smelled.One sorority would go doubly bad as far as hygeine because they would throw things like marshmallow fluff, condiments, eggs, and other disgusting things at the pledges while telling them how worthless they are.  This same sorority would blindfold the girls, have them strip down to bra/panties, wrap them in saran wrap, and then have another equally awful frat come in and circle parts of their bodies that "needed work".  As in, fat belly bulge, etc.  On the night they were to get initiated, they had them do ridiculous things like sit in trash cans, touch a gross snickers bar in a toilet, and close their eyes and swallow a salted peach slice whole (to feel like a goldfish).  This sorority was shut down at the school last year.There is another truly vile sorority that does (or did?) p!ssy pops.  You all stand in a line, put a lollipop in your hoohoo, lick it, and pass it down the line.  They would also make the girls sit nude on newspapers and watch prn until they made the newspaper wet.  I feel disgusting even saying these things.There were lots of less bad hazing, like requiring the pledges to always carry around frivolous objects like a toy car, a pack of tissues, and a tampon.

ofeliaknits

Oh, I would like to add that I would never be in a hazing sorority.  We didn't even haze a little.  We constantly got gifts left in our rooms, or our doors decorated, and there were two weeks when we would all sit in a room and everyone would watch us open tons of fun presents.

ac_in_dc

Huh, I'm thinking about applying to Duke for grad school.You'll probably have an awesome experience. I totally did in grad school. Undergrad was different, because I struggled socially as a public school engineering geek with a freshman roommate who went to the most exclusive private girl's school in DC and summered in Nantucket. Plus they overenrolled my freshman class (the school was just emerging as top-tier and they weren't prepared for it) and so all of the facilities were majorly overcrowded while I was there.

salt78

Hi! Yeah I was a Phi Mu for two years. After the two years, I realized I would rather hang out with my real friends then the ones I was paying for. I didn't really love it. To say I didn't really fit in in that environment would be an understatement. I rushed because it was my first year of college and I didn't know anyone and figured it would be a good way to make friends. In that way, it was cool and I got to go to lots of parties and met lots of people on campus, but I hardly even talk to any of those girls anymore. We weren't allowed to have a house because of weird zoning laws and something about too many girls with different last names living in the same house constitutes a brothel. The frats had houses though, so we mostly just partied over there.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Our housing at my undergrad was overcrowded. More people accepted their offer than they thought, so kids were living in student lounges. It was crazy. But anyway, I'm applying for PhD programs in US History and Duke is pretty good. But I think I could still have a shot at getting in.

missy68

I loved Davidson. It was the same size as my high school, which was what I needed. The biggest class size I had was 100-ish, and that class only met all together once a week or so. The rest of the time we were in smaller groups.I graduated in 1990, and I think tuition's gone up about $20K since I was there - it's now $45K including room, board and meals. But, I think it's definitely worth it.I'm not a Duke sports fan, but that stems from enjoying needling my grandfather as a kid   I know it's a great education.  How cool!!FWIW, Davidson has no sororities, but does have fraternities. To be on campus, though, you have to be open to anyone to eat there - any male can join a house to eat. They don't have to be invited to join the fraternity per se, but they have to be allowed to eat and there's no blackballing allowed - never mind hazing.

LauraT25

I completely believe the poster about hazing, that's exactly what it was like at my school, which was almost 90% Greek (not including the freshmen, who couldn't rush).  We had a couple of chapters get shut down, and the school would say they were cracking down on hazing, but everyone knew what was going on.  The frat guys had it worse.I have to try really hard to remember that other schools aren't like that.  While I was in college, I was constantly shocked to hear my friends from other schools were in sororities and that it really was about community service, togetherness, etc - it was a hard concept for me to grasp.When I was an undergrad, the first thing someone asked upon meeting you was which sorority (or frat, if you were a guy) you were in - and people were absolutely stunned to find out that I wasn't in one ("But you seem so...normal!").  I had considered joining before finding out how terrible they treated the girls.

MeaghanandMichael

Ofelia, that is out of control. I pretty much don't believe an enormous group of girls would keep those kind of distgusting things going year after year. I can see the no showering one, but the others beyond that you mentioned are pretty sadistic.

ofeliaknits

I had a friend that rushed one of the sororities that did those things, but I never experienced them, so there definitely is a chance that things that bad never happened.  I don't know what their nationals were doing that they allowed these things, or even rumors of these things, to get around.  Our school was not on top of hazing at all until my junior and senior years.  That awful sorority has been under probation many times, but nothing was actually proved.  I can't understand the mentality that you must have to allow yourself to be degraded in such a way, and I also don't understand why you would want to do that to other women.  Sororities started as a way for women to find comraderie with each other, and to share experiences.  This happened in a time where many women didn't even have the opportunity to go to college, and really grew during the women's rights movement.  I believe that all sororities should support these ideals and work together to continue to promote women's rights.  One way to do this is to respect all the women around you, especially the ones that you are calling your sisters.Also, I was a Phi Mu!  But, I totally understand why the sorority life may not have been for you, Salt.  Where did you go to school?

TheSaltyPeanut

[i]ofelia, that is ridiculous. I honestly don't even know if I believe you.[/i] Unfortunately this does exist... I have heard horror stories, some that I personally witnessed. Things that I cannot even say because it's pretty obvious who I am due to bio/siggy pic, etc. I was Phi Sigma. I had a blast at the time, When I graduated, that.was.it. I did meet a lot of really great people there, many who I still keep in touch with.

LauraT25

I pretty much don't believe an enormous group of girls would keep those kind of distgusting things going year after year.It is extremely sad what people will put up with in order to belong. 

Brie2010

That is disgusting if it is true.  I can't believe that's allowed to continue.  I went to a large private school that was over half Greek and they watched us like hawks.  It bothers me that there's such variance.  My experience was incredible, no hazing at all, but if that does go on, that just ruins the reputation for everyone else.