*Salt (and other Sorority girls)*

LauraT25

It definitely ruins the reputation - to this day, when I meet someone from a different chapter of any one of the sororities we had on my campus, I can't help but recall the attributes of that sorority.  I usually think something like, "Wow, that's surprising, she doesn't seem like a slut at all...oh wait, she didn't go to Bucknell".  Same for frats actually.  I've gotten better but it's still a knee-jerk response.

tlv204

I'm also in a sorority, and sororities actually weren't that big at my school. It was a small school with only 5 national sororities, each with their own "personalities," and we also couldn't have houses for the same reasons as everyone else, but I loved it. Like others have said, there is a huge community service aspect to it, but I loved to party too

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Ohhh, Laura, wow. I had a friend from high school who went to Bucknell. She hated it the first year, but stuck it out and graduated from there. That might explain it.

tlv204

I can also honestly say I was never hazed at all. It was really frowned upon. When I was a pledge, I was basically showered with gifts for three months until I inititated. It was great.Ditto. I actually went through a phase when I wish we were hazed at least a little bit. Hazing was never bad (at least for the girls) at our school, but I do wish we at least would have had to do a scavenger hunt or something.   Our nationals were all over us too. I also had "real" friends that weren't in the sorority that I met before I went through recruitment in the dorms.  Some of them I'm still really close with, and others I'm not on speaking terms with anymore. Just like with my sorority sisters. Friends are friends. Some work out and some don't, there are all kinds of ways to make friends, and joining organizations (sports, student government, professional organizations, social greek organizations, lions club, rotary, study groups, etc.) has always been a good way to connect with people. Greek organizations are not the only ones that have dues to be paid, so the whole "buying friends" thing bothers me a lot.

goheels05

It is a very common misconception to say that we "buy" our friends.I hate this saying, too.  It's ignorant.  You aren't "paying" anyone, the dues go to national headquarters to fund programming, philanthropy, and scholarships, and some money stays local to the chapter to fund local philanthropic activities, socials, recruiting, Greek week, storage space, rental space at the Greek office, etc.  Personally I think people who say stuff like that are just jealous, and there's no reason for it.  I didn't grow up some rich debutante who's parents paid my dues so I could be a legacy, I worked all through college to buy my groceries and fund any activities I wanted to do, including study abroad, rushing, and getting shitwrecked.  :)I loved being in a sorority.  I would have transferred otherwise.  Again, paying for college was on me, so I accepted a full scholarship to a school that was super easy to get into, forgoing acceptance at much more reputable schools.  So big shock I found most of the people there to be complete tools.  But I loved my sisters.  There were lots of other straight A girls in there who still knew how to have fun, and no one called them nerds.  Plus with my sorority, I never had to worry about who I would sit with in the caf or in class, getting into parties, finding roommates, etc.  It wasn't as fake as it sounds.  Naturally you're going to have more in common with some girls than others, but we were all nice to eachother, we knew everyone's name, their hometown, their major, their boyfriend, likes and dislikes, etc.  And yeah, cat fights broke out, but you're almost always going to have that with college age girls, greek letters or not.On a deeper level, it made me much more outgoing.  I was introverted until college.  I rushed just planning on kind of showing up and wearing letters, but my sorority didn't tolerate freeloaders, so I was immediately put leadership roles and eventually became treasurer.  I gained so much from that experience.  Hazing isn't typically well-tolerated anymore.  As an officer, I could have been held liable for any hazing activity that went awry, even if I had no involvement, so we had a zero-tolerance policy.  I wasn't about to go to jail over a prank gone bad.  To this day, my pledge sisters are some of my closest friends, and four of them were in my wedding.I'm not going to say it was all puppies and rainbows, because there were things that went on that just plain sucked.  But I wouldn't trade it.  You take the good with the bad.

kate51485

A little late, but I was a sorority girl too. 2.5 years out of school and my closest friends are still girls that were my sisters. I know that my experience was a little different because I went to a very small school, though. We didn't have houses, for one. But, I was in the 'pretty girl' sorority so there was the same competition to get the guys in our 'brother' frat, the dislike of the other sororities, etc. so I don't think I am totally out of the loop of large school experiences. And the parties...oh my. When it's 36 below in January in Northeast Iowa, there isn't much else to do but drink and, well, you know...

SarahSmile23

mmm p!ssy pops.*gag*

ofeliaknits

Yeah, I think hazing of any kind gives sororities and fraternities a bad name.  It's really difficult to tell during rush who hazes and who doesn't.  I mean really, how do you tell?  Do only the pretty girls haze?  Do only the girls who have brown hair haze?  Nobody will tell you that they do.  You can always drop out if it gets bad, but some girls feel that they may as well stick it out, because there are some mean girls out there who will go out of your way to make your life hell if you drop from their sorority.  That's rare, though.  We actually had a few Phis (pledges...we didn't like to call them that) that had started pledging for another sorority, and we were very open to accepting them.  We also had a few girls drop, many of them because they were overwhelmed or felt it just was not for them.  Most of those girls we continued to invite to open events and gatherings, because sorority life is just not for everyone.  Anyway, I had a great experience, which is why I'm now still connected with my chapter and I am one of their advisors, and I hope to make their experience better and more meaningful.

kate51485

And I realize the above makes me sound like the complete stereotype, which a lot of it was. But, in truth, we did a lot of really wonderful fundraising and spent ample amounts of time in our community. I also felt like it brought me out of my shell and gave me some confidence socially, that otherwise I may not have developed. I wouldn't trade those years for the world

tlv204

Kate my school was in northeast Missouri, so I know how you feel

SarahSmile23

now i feel kinda jealous and would like to become an honorary member of heels's sorority. and a tote bag or tshirt with the greek letters on it.

kate51485

Sarah, our big thing was pillows. Can I make you a pillow?

salt78

We got hazed to a degree. I didn't mind it.

SarahSmile23

Sarah, our big thing was pillows. Can I make you a pillow? Now you have to!

kate51485

I will say we had it a lot better than the frats. One of their big things was to get their pledges absolutely trashed, then drop them off in a big field away from campus...and let them find their way home. I hated that they did that. The worst thing we had to do beyond dressing up, memorizing a ton of crap, and acting like weirdos when we saw actives, was this one tradition where we had to eat whatever disgusting mixture of food our 'mom' fixed us in the cafeteria. It was SICK.

MeaghanandMichael

Sorry to those I may have offended by the "buy your friends" thing. I admit to being totally ignorant about the whole concept!

goheels05

No, it's ok.  You've seemed pretty open minded through this convo.    It's just a statement that bothers me in general, and I wish I had a better comeback for it in college other than "you're just JEALOUS!"

BostonBride919

I was a ChiO at Tulane, and I always knew I would join a sorority - I am definitely "that type". I was always very involved in high school, cheerleader, class council, etc which in the south is very much sorority girl material. I honestly didn't love it as much as I expected to and I ended up spening most of my Jr & Sr year with my friends outside of the sorority though one of my ChiO sisters was also in that "group" of friends as we were friends well before we pledged. I don't keep in touch with many of my sorority sisters, but it was a good experience overall. Fun date parties, social events were my main draw. The worst we had in terms of 'hazing' was taking the pledges at 5am to get beignets at Cafe du Monde before sunrise. It was an insane hour to get up in college, so it felt like hazing but it was such a cool expeirence and a fun tradition to take part in every year.

SarahSmile23

when i went to UGA, my best friend rushed. i hung out with her and her fellow ADPis, and they were always very nice to me. i always wished i could afford the nice clothes, etc, to pledge.

squirrly

I'm WAAAAYYY late to this, and I'm sad I missed the conversation.  I was very active in my sorority in college, and actually still volunteer as part of the international advisory board.  I was our Finance officer, so I can assure you I never wrote a check for 'friends'.  I wrote checks for rent, for insurance, for national dues, for food & utilities, etc.  Also - I wasn't the typical sorority girl.  I was half nerd, half jock, and nobody would have equated me with popular in high school.  As for hazing - every national organization has an extremely strict policy, and I can't fathom that they would allow that to go on.  The challenge is that some school have 'local' sororities that don't have a national organization 'policing' them.  Those are typically the ones that don't have to follow any sort of hazing or risk management policy, and get themselves into trouble.  As for my college girlfriends. . . I knew several of the girls I'm closest to before rush, and although we are scattered across the US and Europe today, we still get together a couple of times a year and talk/email in between.  I wouldn't trade them, or my sorority experience, for anything.

goheels05

i always wished i could afford the nice clothes, etc, to pledgeHaha.  I rushed in a $15 clearance dress from the Gap.  Mine was red, and one of the sisters had on the same dress in black.  I know big schools, especially Florida schools, are different, though.  Some girls who were from that area would wear brand new Lilly Pulitzer dresses, carry Kate Spade bags, and have alumna of their sorority write letters of recommendation for them.  But none of that was really necessary at our school, plus mine wasn't huge nationally.  Our only claim to fame is that Carrie Underwood is a sister.