Wedding Etiquette Forum
Options

Confession

I need to preface this by saying I am ashamed of myself...After my email from my aunt the other day about not getting married in the church, I got curious...I knew that my mom had to have said something to her, and I wanted to know what was said. So...I checked my mom's email. I set up the account for her, so I knew the password. Come to find out not only was my mom the one that contacted my aunt to begin with, my aunt (after she said the discussion was between her and I) c&p'd the email I sent her back to my mom AND to a Catholic message board asking for advice. The response she sent me back to my original email was a C&P'ed suggestion from someone on the board. And now I can't even be mad about it because I was just as bad.

Re: Confession

  • Options
    This is sketchy all around. NFT.
  • Options
    I know...I feel really bad about it, I did it when I was still really angry, not that it makes it any better.
  • Options
    I missed the followup... what was her response to you? (Did you post it?)
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker
    Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
  • Options
    Ring_Pop, this is what I sent her:As you may or may not know, Rick was raised Pentecostal. His mother would love to see us get married in the Pentecostal church. BUT, there are many things that I don't understand or agree with in regards to the religion. Rick has never and would never ask or expect me to push my beliefs aside to make his family happy. The same goes for me-there are things within the Catholic church that he (and I for that matter) don't agree with, and I would never ask him to push those feelings aside. We've been attending church together since May, and have made a decision TOGETHER to have a Christian wedding ceremony. I don't expect you to agree with us, but I do ask that you respect the decision that Rick and I have made as a couple about how to practice our faith.
  • Options
    Dang!  A little sneaky, but at least you admit it.  I'd be peeved my mom didn't just talk to me directly about it, though.  Will you discuss it with your mom at all?  Sounds like something that could stay in the back of your mind and fester if you don't clear it up with her.
  • Options
    if it makes u feel any better, i've def. checked my moms email before.without telling her you read it could u just talk to her about how shes feeling?
    BabyFruit Ticker < br > Visit The Nest! Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Options
    I knew how she was feeling beforehand, because I was complaining about the email from my aunt to her, and she said something along the lines of "You knew I didn't approve", which piqued my curiosity.
  • Options
    Oh yeah, I saw you post the email you sent her... I misunderstood and thought that you had also posted her response back to you.
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker
    Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
  • Options
    Oh, no I hadn't, but since she's putting it out there for others, I guess I can do the same. Here's what I thought was her heartfelt, caring responseI want to make sure you know that I am happy for you and Rick and that I will be praying for both of you as you prepare to enter into marriage. I want you to have the happy marriage that God has planned for you. Coming to know, love, and serve God together is the cornerstone of a happy marriage, and I truly believe that the graces one receives from the sacrament of Matrimony are a vital part of coming to know Him well so that you are able to love Him and serve Him best.As you might guess, I've come to a much deeper understanding of the importance of searching for and finding the ultimate truth, which is embodied in Jesus Christ. Where has your journey taken you so far? I know from experience that there's a LOT of misinformation about what the Catholic Church truly teaches. I'd be interested to know what it is that you disagree with. Also, what is it about the Pentecostal church teachings that gives you pause? I ask only because I know that searching and finding truth is an exciting, scary, daunting path and you might like a sounding board.If you ever want to discuss anything about what the Church teaches, please let me know. I offer this because I love you and I want what is best for you.
  • Options
    Tit for tat you know? =)But kudos on your sneaky sleuthing skills!Can I threadjack and add a confession?
  • Options
    Please do Sunkissed
  • Options
    The violation of privacy is as back as the sneaky confrontation tactics your mom is using. I'd tell your mom to change her e-mail password to something you don't know, so that you're not tempted again. I ask DH to do this sometimes...I'm not going to go out of my way to violate his privacy, but it's better to remove temptation :) On the religion thing, in a separate convo I'd address it directly with your mom in as nice a way as you can. Tell her your aunt mentioned something and you want to know her feelings on it. Don't worry about the fact that they talked about it without you...since you didn't find that out through legitimate means you have to try to let that go on your own without getting angry. BTW some of those catholic message boards are BSC.Confession of my own: I read DH's journal once when we first started dating and he wrote about how much in love was in love with his ex-girlfriend a month before we started dating. This info has been a real burden for me, because I felt the need to grill DH on the relationship for *months* until he admitted to me the shiit that he had written in his journal. Bad news all around. Now I feel ashamed of myself again.
  • Options
    *back* should be bad, sorry!
  • Options
    My Fi is in a wedding next Saturday, and both of us absolutely cannot stand the girl that is getting married. It's his best friend since 7th grade that is getting married, and he a nice guy, but this girl .... there are no words.She didn't shop around for tux prices at all, because apparently she wanted them from this private speciality store in town. So Fi had to drop an asss of money on a one day rental, and did I mention the tux is FUGLY.Also, their RD is probably going to make me miss opening night of New Moon, because the showings after the RD will probably all be sold out.I'm just trying I can keep my perma-grin and southern charm going long enough to make it through the ceremony and reception.Lord help ....LOL.
  • Options
    That's actually a very sweet response from your aunt.
  • Options
    AC, it is sweet...it just irritated me a bit that she copy and pasted it from a message board...someone came up with it for her.
  • Options
    Yeah, that makes it mean less, no?
  • Options
    Just being nosey here... So she C&P'd your email to the msg board and then C&P'd their answer, but I'm curious as to what she said, with your email, on the Catholic msg board.  "help, my niece turned into a heathen"?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options
    Mrs, you pretty much got it.
  • Options
    Yea, I'm interested in hearing what your aunt's initial post on the message board was too.
  • Options
    To do that, I'd have to get back into mom's email...and I really shouldn't go there. It was something along the lines of "My 21 year old niece who is living with her FI has just announced that she's no longer Catholic and is not getting married in the Catholic church, what should I do?"
  • Options
    I would totally turn up on the message board.
  • Options
    Ha. That reminds me of when my mom was cheating on my dad, which clearly made me angry, so I started snooping and read her journal. Then I wrote in my journal about reading her journal. Then she read my journal and found out that I read her journal, so we were both guilty of the same thing.On subject, though, it stinks that your family isn't supporting the decision you and your FI have made about your wedding ceremony, and that your aunt is publicly broadcasting her disdain on a message board (although, ironically, that's what you're doing too). I'd be frustrated if I were in your position too.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
  • Options
    The ironic part is we do a lot of that here.  People come here and don't know how to talk to a friend or family member so they ask for advice. We give advice freely and even give quotes to use.  I wonder if anyone has be caught C&Ping from this board... As much as it hurts to know that it came from a message board, it doesn't mean she meant it less.  When you are in the middle of a situation sometimes it is easier to ask someone else for the words you have been wanting to say.  Sounds like its time to have a heart to heart with your mom, in person or on the phone. GL!
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Love is like infinity: You can't have more or less infinity, and you can't compare two things to see if they're "equally infinite." Infinity just is, and that's the way I think love is, too.
    Fred Rogers
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards