your pets were there first!

Calypso1977

a friend of a friend is looking for homes for their cats - they are 9 and i believe 6 years old.  the reason is that they dont want them anymore because of their kids.i know other people who have gotten rid of pets once kids come along.this makes me so upset.  i could not imagine tossing my pet aside just because i have a baby.  older pets are always harder to find homes for.  it makes me sad to think that these loyal companions may spend their golden years in a shelter.the worst is its not like you can explain it to the pet.  "gee, we have to send you away because of junior".  no, they suddenly never see you again, live in a strange place with other animals and without their favorite things and dont understand why.

tlv204

I hate that, it makes me so sad   I haven't had a baby, but I can't imagine just getting rid of any pet.

desireedp

The thought of getting rid of Tootz because I had a baby makes me wanna cry. It would be one thing if my child was allergic to them (and regular allergy pills didn't help) but the 'I have to get rid of my pet because I'm pregnant' thing just sounds like an excuse to me. Fi and I can't wait til we have kids around Tootsie to see them interact.

Andrea_Lea

this pisses me off.  Unless the kids have severe allergies, then I can understand it but discarding pets in favor of kids? NOT OK.

katiewhompus

Eh, playing Devil's Advocate here but if you have an animal who is going to cause physical harm to a child, you can't give the child back either and the dog probably has a better chance of adoption.It's one thing if you give up an animal because you can't handle both, or you suddenly don't want it, but sometimes people have legit reasons. If a cat bites or a dog is aggressive people aren't going to give up their dream of having kids to keep the dog.I just hope my dog is around for when I have kids, and that Demon behaves.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

What a**holes. My friend adopted her cat from a shelter and the cat had been brought in by someone's neighbor - the people had kicked the cat out of the house when they had a baby. She was the sweetest cat, too. Doesn't hurt that my friend loves cats and hates babies...My family had tons of pets when we were little, including a cat. Cats are easy. You feed them and give them a place to pee. There's no reason for such blatant irresponsibility.

TnJBonnell

Thats horrible!! I would never be able to do that! There are many ways to get the pet comfortable with the new baby. There is no need to get rid of them. Only someone that doesnt love their pet would do that.

ggmae

It just breaks my heart when people do this. I could never ever get rid of any of my 3 cats. Ever. I love them too much and they are part of the family. There's no way in hell I'd ever give them the boot. How do people feel about people getting rid of animals due to their children's allergies or fears?

betrothed123

Eh, playing Devil's Advocate here but if you have an animal who is going to cause physical harm to a child, you can't give the child back either and the dog probably has a better chance of adoption.This is exactly what I was thinking.My dad's cousin had a dog that attacked every child that came to the house.  They had a couple of kids.  I seriously hope they got rid of that dog before they did it.  I still can't go anywhere near a dog because of how badly that one scared me.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Oh, and it's highly likely that an adult animal will not get adopted and will be euthanized. I would not be able to live with myself if I did something like that.

Calypso1977

i would never let my pet harm my kid.  but my cat could live primarily in the finished basement and then come upstairs at night when the baby is safe in his/her crib wtih the door shut.  i really do think you can keep pets and kids apart within the same house.  adn its reallly only for a few years until the kids understand how to treat a pet.

HilaryH1231

Re: getting rid of a pet due to a child's fear: I would think that if a child grows up in a house with a pet, he/she would have no reason to be scared of them. As for getting a pet if my child is scared of it, I don't think I would do that--it seems pretty mean. I would wait til they're older and hopefully get over their fear, or just not have a pet and indulge my puppy cravings through friends.

katiewhompus

Again, if its an aggression/safety issue I get it, otherwise they suck.I once had a worker ask if I was going to give up my cat once I got pregnant. They actually convinced another worker that she had to get rid of her cat or she would be sick and it would kill the baby. She came in the day before sobbing because she didn't want to have to get rid of her. I was like, wtf are you talking about? The cat doesn't make you sick just make your husband change the litter box.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

How do people feel about people getting rid of animals due to their children's allergies or fears?I adopted my cat from a woman who had a baby who was allergic. It broke her heart to have to give the cats away, but you have to do what you have to do. I know people who have allergies who DO own cats, but it depends on the severity, I guess. The woman who had Nimbus before me also called no-kill shelters and when she couldn't find one with room, she just kept her cats in a separate room until she could find adopters.

niffycat

We have some concerns that Sammy (the dog) will not react well to having a child in the house. But if necessary, we will see if FIL can take her for part of the time and see if we can slowly adjust her to no longer being the baby of our family. (FIL watches her at his house whenever we are out of town, so she is familiar with him and his house. Plus, he recently lost his dog, so a part time dog would be a better fit for him right now instead of an actually dog replacement.)

lpstl

Do you know any details about this specific case? You said they are getting rid of their pets because of their kids, so I assume this isn't a knee jerk reaction to getting knocked up for the first time?I think it's BS to give up your pets automatically when you decide to have kids, but there are extenuating circumstances where there are few other options (i.e. aggression).

NotNumbers

Do people seriously do this?  If so, they suck as human beings.

Calypso1977

i dont know the details, but even if its aggression, again, i dont see how its that hard to keep cats away from kids.  they have a house, so its not like they only have a few rooms in an apartment.yes, it might mean paying a bit more attention to who is where, but IMO, your pets deserve it.

ggmae

Personally, I could not imagine my children growing up without pets but that's just me. It does suck that people just think that the best solution is to get rid of the pet. I think it's a different case if the child is allergic, but people can grow out of allergies. And as for the fear issue, I agree with PP.

NYE * Bride

This makes me sad.  The last part of your post almost made me cry.  We adopted Toby, our yorkie silky mix from a shelter last August.  He is truly one of the best things that has happened to us.  I can't imagine just giving him away one day. Breaks my heart.  If she truly does give them away, I hope they find wonderful homes that are treated with the respect and compassion they deserve.

lpstl

Well, I can't really judge without knowing the details.If it is aggression then I understand (as long as they consulted with their vet, tried behavior modification techniques, etc). It's not exactly fair to the animal to keep them locked up away from all human contact when the kids are around. If they are looking for a good kid free home for the animals due to a situation like that, then I'd lean towards it being for the best for the animals.

stina93446

So you should tell them if they ever get another pet, it's time to find a new home for Junior....because you know THAT duo will never work out.

katiewhompus

I think if the cat/dog could find a home where they could get non-stop love and a full home it would be better than being locked in a room all day. I can't imagine it would help a child's fear either if they knew there was an animal in the room but was never allowed to see/touch it out of fear of something happening.I also think I'm used to hearing this more with dogs than cats however. It is very easy for dogs to harm children even without meaning too. But some people also just suck and give up at the first snag.

colleenspencer

I got a dog and a cat since I had kids, does that mean I can get rid of my kids now?

SarahSmile23

this makes me sadder than it should. my cats really are part of my family.

[Deleted User]

Well, I can't really judge without knowing the details.i can, and do.  giving up your existing pets because you decide to breed is ROTTEN.  i would never remain friends with someone who did that.sidenote, i once got roasted on ml for saying "the dog was there before the baby" tongue-in-cheekly.  those chicks are duuuuumb.

lpstl

I'm not suggesting that getting rid of your pet because you have is ok, it's not. But, there are exceptions. If an aggression issue is preventing your pet from having a happy life (because it's locked in the basement all day or something) and you've exhausted all corrective options, then a good pet owner would try to find a better home for it.

Calypso1977

my cat generally sleeps all day in one room.  if he had to be segregated to that one room (or the entire pimped out basement) during the hours that the kid is around/awake i dont think its that bad, probably worse for a dog.or, lock your kid in its play room/bed room and let the animal roam the house.again, at night, if the kid is asleep the pet coudl roam the house freely except for that one room.  still better, IMO, than a smelly shelter.

lpstl

No, I don't think giving up your animal to a shelter is ever ok. I was talking about finding a good permanent home. A friend of mine went through this with her cat and new baby, so it's made me a little less judgie. She tried everything under the sun, but eventually ended up keeping the cat away from the baby. The cat was misserable, so was she. She found a good home for the cat with a family friend, she visits, the cat is happy. My point is, if the situation is impacting the animal's quality of life, sometimes the best thing a pet owner can do is find a better home for the pet. That's rare as all hell that nothing works, but after seeing it happen I'm not as quick to judge.

Calypso1977

out of curiosity, what was the cat doing to the kid, lp? 

lilcassers

this makes me so sad because the animals don't know what is going on